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serial experiments lain op on a crt | source

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Specify if: With good or fair insight: The individual recognizes that obsessive-compulsive dis- order beliefs are definitely or probably not true or that they may or may not be true. With poor insight: The individual thinks obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are probably true. With absent insight/delusional beliefs: The individual is completely convinced that obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are true.

D. The disturbance is not better explained by the symptoms of another mental disorder (e.g., excessive worries, as in generalized anxiety disorder; preoccupation with ap- pearance, as in body dysmorphic disorder; difficulty discarding or parting with posses- sions, as in hoarding disorder; hair pulling, as in trichotillomania [hair-pulling disorder]; skin picking, as in excoriation [skin-picking] disorder; stereotypies, as in stereotypic movement disorder; ritualized eating behavior, as in eating disorders; preoccupation with substances or gambling, as in substance-related and addictive disorders; preoc- cupation with having an illness, as in illness anxiety disorder; sexual urges or fantasies, as in paraphilic disorders; impulses, as in disruptive, impulse-control, and conduct dis- orders; guilty ruminations, as in major depressive disorder; thought insertion or delu- sional preoccupations, as in schizophrenia spectrum and other psychotic disorders; or repetitive patterns of behavior, as in autism spectrum disorder).

C. The obsessive-compulsive symptoms are not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or another medical condition.

B. The obsessions or compulsions are time-consuming (e.g., take more than 1 hour per day) or cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

A. Presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both: Obsessions are defined by (1) and (2):

Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or distress.

The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action (i.e., by performing a compulsion). Compulsions are defined by (1) and (2):

Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the individual feels driven to per- form in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly.

The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or dis- tress, or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neu- tralize or prevent, or are clearly excessive. Note: Young children may not be able to articulate the aims of these behaviors or mental acts.

OCD is characterized by the presence of obsessions and/or compulsions. Obsessions are recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced as intrusive and unwanted, whereas compulsions are repetitive behaviors or mental acts that an indi- vidual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly. Some other obsessive-compulsive and related disorders are also char- acterized by preoccupations and by repetitive behaviors or mental acts in response to the preoccupations. Other obsessive-compulsive and related disorders are characterized pri- marily by recurrent body-focused repetitive behaviors (e.g., hair pulling, skin picking) and repeated attempts to decrease or stop the behaviors.

HALT! Do you have sensory issues? Overwhelmed by sound in a messy environment? Desperately wanting to write that essay/fanfiction but your ADHD is getting on the way? In need of atmospheric sound for your tabletop game??

Please let me introduce you to MyNoise.net - a lifesaver on all aspects.

Mynoise provides an incredible index of noise machine generators with personalizing sliders to suit your every taste.

Missing the sound of a lively coffee shop during the pandemic? They have that. That specific, calming noise of a public park in a peaceful afternoon? they have that. Rain sounds? City sounds? Want to fuck around and listen to some uninterrupted Gregorian chants? They have that also!

According to the website:

"myNoise generators cover the whole audible frequency range, from 20Hz to 20kHz, over 10 color-coded sliders. Through a simple but accurate calibration process, all myNoise generators can be shaped to your personal hearing thresholds and compensate for your audio equipment and listening environment deficiencies, including the presence and nature of background noise. Calibration is unique to this website, and makes calibrated noise machines stand out from regular white noise machines. During the calibration process, we are able to measure your personal hearing levels, and adapt our noises accordingly. If you are suffering from age-related hearing, you'll be surprised to hear frequencies you thought were lost."

And that's not all. When I say 'incredible' I really mean it; I've found myself using the website on multiple occasions, for work, creative and stress-related issues, and the variety of machines provided cannot be overstated. You've got animal noises, nature soundscapes, street sounds, meditation aids, melody-based lullabies, magical soundscapes, medieval ambiance, situation specific sounds, white noise generators-- and a lot more!!! They even have noise to block out IRL sounds you don't want to hear.

Just take a brief look at what the index page provides:

There's something for EVERYONE. And it's all for free! It's been for free for years, and it is the creator's wish that it remains accessible to everyone who might need this kind of aid in life. I am using it to write this post right now. Though if you read some of the above index, you may have noticed that the support for the website has been very low lately.

Which brings me to the reason I'm making this post. Mynoise is curated and maintained by a single person:

Please check out the Mynoise Index for yourself, donate if you can, and tell your friends who might be interested ♡

list of cognitive distortions

Cognitive distortions are biased and negative thinking patterns not based on fact or reality. They impact how we see ourselves/others and are usually associated with depression, anxiety, or trauma. (Note: this list was given to me by my therapist and is not my original writing.)

All-or-nothing thinking — You see things in black-and-white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.

Overgeneralization — You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

Mental filter — You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors the entire beaker of water.

Disqualifying the positive — You reject positive experiences by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.

Jumping to conclusions — You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. A) Mind reading: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don’t bother to check this out. B) Fortune telling: You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already-established fact.

Magnification (catastrophizing) or minimization — You exaggerate the importance of things (such as a goof-up or someone else’s achievement), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or other people’s imperfections). This is also called the “binocular trick.”

Emotional reasoning — You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are. “I feel it, therefore it must be true.”

Should statements — You try to motivate yourself with should and shouldn’t, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. “Musts” and “oughts” are also offenders. The emotional consequences are guilt. When you direct “should” statements towards others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.

Labeling and mislabeling — This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself. “I’m a loser.” When someone else’s behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to them. Mislabeling involved describing an event with language that is emotionally loaded.

Personalization — You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event, which in fact you were not primarily responsible for.

Looking at your OCD posts have caused me to think more deeply about some things that I have considered before. Do you have any suggeastions for sites to reasearch about OCD?

yeah of course! I’ve tried to include a broad variety of types of resources, but if you want something more specific, please let me know!

here’s the DSM and here’s the ICD

here’s the International OCD Foundation

here’s the NHS page for OCD

here’s a video John Green made about OCD (which I personally found super helpful)

here’s an academic article about OCD vs psychosis

and here’s a blog written by someone with OCD

hope this helps!

sorry this isn’t in format, but i was wondering if you could point me in the right direction.

i’m questioning if i have ocd, but i can’t find any trustworthy resources, and i don’t want to harm anyone or contribute to self-diagnosis stereotypes in case i don’t have ocd

i can relate to a lot of the stuff in this and other blogs, but i don’t want it to end up that i was “faking it”

please don’t feel pressured to answer, have a nice day/night either way!

don’t worry about it! I’ve been thinking for a while about compiling a list of OCD resources, and this gives me an excuse. first up, I just want to say thank you for taking the time to do your research, and I really hope you’re able to find the resources and help that you need!

my view is that it’s important to look at a combination of offical resources and personal experiences when you’re first investigating a disorder. just looking at one or the other doesn’t really give a full image of what its like to be a person with OCD. so I hope all of this information is helpful!

where to start:

OCD UK

John Green talking about living with OCD (one is an article, and one is a video)

DSM criteria for OCD

ICD criteria for OCD

what it’s like to live with OCD

if you relate to the above:

talk to a mental health professional if possible

this is what treatment should look like

self care with OCD

if anyone has any other resources, please let me know! I’m going to link this at the top of my blog for future reference.

good luck, anon!

Some apps that helped me with ADHD functioning/adulting.

TL;DR at the end!

EDIT: I still heavily struggle with keeping up with everything and it can be overwhelming, but I'm trying to figure it out and hoped that this could be some help for you guys.

I made it look overwhelming with all the colors, but I promise that they're a lot more accessible and easier to use than it seems. Edited for accessibility on August 6th.

📋 1. There's an app called TickTick

It has...

🍅 a built in POMODORO (with customisable timers, a strick mode with an app and site blocker, and a whitelist),

⏱️ a TIMER that you can set on specific tasks or subtasks,

📅 it has a CALENDAR,

📚 LISTS, TAGS, an Eisenhower-matrix, Kanban Board,

🤩 you can endlessly CUSTOMISE it with colors and emojis,

🚩 you can set PRIORITIES and set the lists to show the items SORTED BY date or priority or name or custom, etc.,

🏡 you can create SECTIONS within the lists too,

📮 you can set NOTIFICATIONS that POP UP ON YOUR SCREEN giving you the option to start a timer, postpone it for later, check it off, or skip it.

📈 You can create both SUBTASKS and checklists for your tasks, and it shows a tiny PIE CHART with the prescentage completed. It also shows how many days are left.

- With school tasks, I've listed everything I had to get done for the exam and added all the information and details, e.g. for all my readings, I included the link/where to find it in the library, the pages I had to read and the number of pages for quick access.

- To make it more fun/gamify the process, I added a little emoji (e.g. a waterdrop 💧 or a colored book 📙) before the name of the thing I have just completed and e.g. a bucket 🪣 or river 🌊 or plant 🌱 for the raindrops, or a bookshelf 🗃📚 emoji for the books, and as I complete an item, I collect the books/drops, etc. in there.

For example:

✉️💌📧📦🗞 >> 📬📮

🌧💧 >> ☔️ or 🌊 or 🪣 or 🌱 or 🪴

📕📙📔📗📘📖📚📒📑📜 >> 🗃🗄📚

🌟🌙🌠🪐🚀🌕☁️ >> 🌌

Etc.

🪣 2. Then there's Tody!

🧹 An app for HOUSEWORK,

🙌 it REJOICES when you complete a task,

💦 it puts little SPLASHES on the area where there are tasks to be done

🙆 you can set "EFFORT LEVEL",

✉️ it also sends you a NOTIFICATION

and meassures how dirty one thing might be based on the last time you cleaned it.

You can RESET it.

🍽 3. Then there's WonderFridge!

It's an app to keep track of the CONTENT of your fridge and pantry, it has plenty of beautiful ILLUSTRATIONS for every sort of drink or food. It keeps track of the EXPIRATION DATES of foods and sends you NOTIFICATIONS so you can eat/use them up before they go wrong.

🕑 4. Then there's Boosted!

Boosted is a very SIMPLE app, originally created to MEASURE the time spent on different projects and their subtasks. I personally use it to break down tasks in the moment and do a speed run doing them as fast as I can. (Especially when I'm about to hit a deadline.)

🐦 5. Then there's Finch!

Finch is an adorable SELF-CARE app in which

you hatch a LITTLE BIRB and as you do your tasks, you give them ENERGY to go, explore and every day come home with a new thing explored, CHAT with you about it and GROW a little.

💡It has TASK SUGGESTIONS,

📓 a built in JOURNAL with or without prompts,

❤️‍🩹 breathing and grounding exercises, an S.O.S. mental first aid box,

⏲️ timers, reminders, lovely messages,

🤗 acts of kindness, and many more.

You can also group your tasks into JOURNEYS.

🙂 6. Then there's Daylio!

Daylio is a very SIMPLE JOURNAL/DIARY to KEEP TRACK OF THE DAYS ('cause I rarely remember what happended yesterday or which day did something happen.) You can set up little BUTTONS for activites, moods, symptoms, the weather, or anything you fancy and just tap over the ones that fit the day. You can also freely ad text, photos, or create a sound entry.

It's fully customisable (even the colors and moods) and makes you plentiful of different STATISTICS so you can check long term tendencies. It's super useful for monitoring mental health.

⏳️ 7. There's also Tiimo

Tiimo was developed by and keeping in mind the needs of neurodivergent people. In it you can set up routines and tasks with their duration and an emoji (they have a beautifully colored emoji set!). You can schedule your tasks at a specific time or set them "to do anytime" and set them to repetition. Once the scheduled time comes you get notified and the app starts a visual timer (even if you don't start the task...) and once done, you can check it off.

TL;DR

TickTick is a cool to-do app where you can make colorful lists, tag tasks and it helps you sort them by priority. Tody is a chores app that measures the dirtiness and is happy for you when you complete a task. Wonderfridge is an app where you can keep track of your food and their expiration dates and has nice icons. Finch is an adorable self-care app where a little bird grows with you and that suggests you self-care activities. It is a 100% mental illness/disability/neurodivergency friendly. Boosted helps you break down tasks and measures time. Daylio is a low-effort diary to keep track of the days, especially useful if you have memory issues. It makes statistics too so you can see how a thing might affect your mood. And Tiimo, a visual timer for tasks and routines.

-------

I hope I could help some!

If I made any typos, let me know!

*friendly salutes* Until next time! 🫡

it:s an explanation of why i like shinobu from chihayafuru & the peripheral people / moving-object that pop up sometimes 

i wanted to make a character sheet, for fun

awhile back i mentioned a loose spiritual sequel to a loose spiritual sequel to the "enlove" story i wrote, and here it is, along-with the draft of a VN script i never finished, + some art (for the VN) by henrietta (pictured), + some of my notes from church

demon5equal10birth5day3equal8.substack.com/p/gracecon-and-hospital-cold

realized something recently. I don’t have to shame and blame myself for my reactions to trauma / trauma responses. These are things I really don’t have much control over. I also don’t need to shame and blame others for provoking or triggering these responses / reactions to trauma that they don’t really understand. Honestly, the long and short of it is that trauma is SUPER confusing, and if I don’t understand my own issues the likelihood that someone else understands them is super low. While it’s not anybody’s FAULT that these reactions and responses exist and are getting triggered, it is MY RESPONSIBILITY to learn how to heal, both for myself and the people around me, so that we ALL experience less distress stemming from this trauma that we ultimately can’t really control.

To rephrase, like, when I start having a trauma response, how I behave is my responsibility, but how I’m thinking and how I’m feeling internally starts to become more and more out of control of “adult me.” It starts to be handled by “traumatized child me.” This situation is not my fault, nor is it the fault of the person who triggered the response. However, it poses difficulties for both of us, and it’s my responsibility to try to heal and allow adult me to stay in control and handle things, in order to lessen the difficulties for everyone.

damn… I’m writing this story about my life and I feel like nobody gets it… like it’s very much about sex and religion and all this stuff and I feel like people just don’t like it but it’s like autofiction so it’s not going to be any different like most of it is based on my real life… like idk it’s autofiction so it’s mutable but people are like “I don’t like the character or how she acts” and I’m like well that’s me and that’s how I do act… it’s fine if you don’t like it… but idk how to write it any other way????? Like I want it to be real……….. even my best friend like knows it’s autofiction and doesn’t want to be mean or harsh but like doesn’t seem to get why the character is traumatized or struggling and I’m like fuck …….. I just want people to understand what’s wrong with me. Hell, I want to understand what’s wrong with me. Like what the fuck. I know it’s not an interesting and enjoyable story for people but it’s my fucking life…. Like my best friend literally said maybe it’s holding me back to be writing about myself but what the fuck else can I say?????? Idk

many such cases

"Why do you like hamsters if you have ASPD?"

What else am I supposed to like? Murder? Blood? Guns? Robbing elderly women?

I really hate hearing this comment because the people who say bullshit like that always seem to think that someone liking casual or sweet things automatically disproves that they have an "evil" PD like ASPD or NPD.

Can we all please agree that hobbies and likes/dislikes have nothing to do with a personality disorder? I love my hamster, this tiny little creature, to the point that I am obsessively watching her and overanalyse her behaviour to figure out if she likes me or not. I also had a period in which I tried to learn knitting, I love to play Final Fantasy XIV and take my time to pet any lalafell player I come across because those tiny characters are just too cute.

I know someone with NPD who obsessively collects those funky pride flags and microlabels because that makes them happy. My boyfriend has NPD and he loves warrior cats.

Not everyone who has ASPD or NPD loves gore, horror, blood, shooter games or have any other "edgy" interest (obviously people with ASPD and NPD who love those kind of things are lovely too <3). People are versatile. Stop assuming that everyone with ASPD or NPD just likes edgy things because teenagers think that this is the thing which makes them a psychopath.

I think I've really started figuring out something about relationships and why mine seem to end so intensely. So this is just a little thought experiment, and, as always, I'm not an expert and I'm mostly writing this to talk to myself - take what resonates and leave the rest! So without further ado...

I think that these are some of the most basic ingredients a good relationship can have:

each partner having a baseline ACCEPTANCE of the other person and the ability to "let them do them" authentically

each partner being able to set BOUNDARIES that allow them to continue "doing them," as well as being able to tell the other "no" and stand up for themselves in order to keep those boundaries in place

each partner being COMFORTABLE with the concept that the relationship MAY NOT WORK OUT and truly being okay with stopping the relationship if it begins to go south

When these things start to get compromised, all hell breaks loose and you start the really vicious insecure attachment style cycles we've all come to know and love.

First of all, if someone starts to feel, for whatever reason, that this relationship "MUST WORK OUT," you are headed for disaster - this will create a scenario where at least one person in the relationship is more susceptible to letting go of their own boundaries if the other person asks. If there is any kind of question of the other partner not being able to accept them or their boundaries, the partner who feels things need to work out will simply let go of their boundaries for the sake of the relationship rather than stand up for themself or be able to walk away. Then you have a situation where boundaries are disintegrating and acceptance of the boundaryless partner is potentially starting to become conditional, so you've got the other two pillars of the safe relationship starting to fall.

Soon enough, you're in a very deep cycle. Putting aside your own boundaries for another person, no matter who they are, starts to breed resentment, and you start to feel unaccepting feelings toward the other person's behavior and probably feel that you're participating in an unequal power dynamic where they are making the rules of the relationship. Without your own boundaries, you likely start to impinge on your partner's - if you have to give up so much to be with them and earn their acceptance, they'd better be giving up the same! And then, the more that either of you give up, the more you probably start to subscribe to the sunk cost fallacy - you've changed so much for this person, so now you have to stay together even more, because this relationship would just be a total failure and violation otherwise.

FRIEND. Let me just say it right here from the start: if you stick to the three pillars above, you will probably be able to maintain a much healthier relationship with your partner and yourself!!! Because when you are not bending over backwards in ways that harm you, it's likely that you expect less of that from your partner as well. If you maintain the boundaries, it's probably easier to maintain your acceptance of each other, too. And if you keep your comfort with being alone, you're able to decide to leave in a respectable, peaceable way if the other relationship pillars start to fall in a way that makes you uncomfortable. I feel like these 3 pillars are the way to have a healthy, happy relationship with realistic expectations, that can still end really amicably if it needs to! But if you lose one the whole thing comes crashing down.

Telling me that being upset by my intrusive thoughts is proof I'm a good person did jackshit to help me, ngl. In fact, all it did was make me feel like I HAD to go down a spiral of horror and self-hatred any time I had those thoughts in order to prove those thoughts didn't make me a monster. I still feel like that.

But the most helpful advice I got about them was genuinely just to treat them gently. Laugh. Roll my eyes. Go "not my brain acting up again 🙄" or "Bro, I do no want to do that, shut up 😩".

Like...Telling people their suffering is proof they're good people isn't really helpful, in the long run. Or at all, for plenty of us. We need to be working WITH our brains, instead of constantly fighting against them. I have this tiny section in my journal, where when I was feeling okay, I wrote myself a note on intrusive thoughts and hallucinations and there's a line I keep in mind:

"Having thoughts-it's like an ocean; shit washes up sometimes. And then, if you let it, it gets washed away."

You have to let it wash away. You can't pick up every piece of crap that washes up and study it, keep it in your little backroom, trying to determine why it's here and what its purpose is. Babe, you're not a marine biologist. Sometimes bullshit is just bullshit and you've gotta train yourself to recognize that. You don't have to be disgusted every time you run across it. You can just keep moving.

i love you autistics who can't control their volume . i love you autistics who struggled with/never understood "inside voice" . i love you autistics that yell to communicate their wants and needs . i love you autistics that stim loudly . i love you autistics who make noise .

we are loved . we deserve to be heard and accommodated for .

You don’t need to go into a spiral every time you have your intrusive thoughts. You don’t need to spend time feeling guilty and bad about them to be a good person.

Honestly, it got easier to ignore my intrusive thought when I reacted neutrally to them. When I’d get one and go “oh, you’re an intrusive thought”. It allowed me to roll my eyes at it and move on.

Where spending time feeling bad about them because I thought I needed to feel bad about them to still be a good person just got me stuck in them. It left the thoughts happening for longer and more intensely for me. It was also more distressing to me.

You don’t need to feel guilt for your intrusive thoughts. It’s okay to just move on and carry on with your life. They don’t define you.

i love you autistics that are picky eaters. i love you autistics that dont eat vegetables. i love you autistics that dont eat foods because of the color or texture. i love you autistics who have to take vitamins because their safe/same foods dont provide enough nutrients. i love you autistics who have to look at the menu ahead of time before they go somewhere to make sure there is safe/same foods.

scrupulosity and an OCD obsession with morality is so much more than just wanting to be a good person.

yes, I want to be a good person. but for me, that comes along with:

an unreachably high moral standard

an unshakeable guilt complex

a chronic feeling of “what have I done wrong?”

constant flashbacks to “shame memories”

tying myself up in knots over making the right decision (even over the little things)

and sometimes… this obsession with being a good person actually prevents me from being as good a person as I would be otherwise (e.g it can make me come across as selfish and not compassionate)

hunter "luz better think i'm the coolest guy around" deamonne

do not tag as siblings >:)

Still thinking about how there aren't any other reasons to explain how desperate Boscha appears to be wanting Amity by her side other than a pent-up affection.

Like, “Girl, I know you've been wanting Amity to join you, but do you really need to go full yandere?”. As she implied that, despite the rest of the others leaving, if they were both together everything would be more than resolved. Amity literally left all possible evidence that she no longer wanted to be friends with Boscha, left for another realm for months, in the meantime Boscha became practically a female and school Belos, and when both, after all that, end up meeting again, Boscha acts as if Amity is the only essential piece missing from her. There is simply nothing and no one that convinces me that Boscha wouldn't want to be in Luz's shoes. By the way, what is this?

Are you really that desperate to take a bite of that Blight?...I mean, I don't judge.