This Is A Joke, Right?

#ThingsThatDefinitelyHappened

Today I learned that my cousin was targeted by the police, but they failed.

So he was dropping his girlfriend off at her house and he was taking my grandfather’s NEW truck.

The police pulled him over and he put his hands on the steering wheel, like you’re supposed to do, and he waited on the police officer to approach him.

The police officer informed him that he pulled him over because there was something wrong with the tailpipe of the truck (keep in mind, brand new truck) & that he needed his license and registration, so my cousin gave it to him.

As the police officer went back to his car, my cousin called my grandpa and told him that something was wrong with his tailpipe on his BRAND NEW TRUCK.

My grandpa, thinking something was not right, asked where my cousin was and went to arrive where he was being pulled over at.

Back to my cousin, waiting on the police officer, 3 more cop cars pulled up and one had a K-9 dog with him. My cousin, confused, asked what was going on. The police told him nothing, not to worry about it. He kept talking to my cousin to distract him, but my cousin saw in the rear view mirror that the police officer with the K-9 dog had something in his hand.

The police officer with the k-9 dog called the other police over and told him, “the dog smells weed.” My cousin does not smoke, and my grandfather doesn’t carry weed.

When the police asked my cousin if he had any drugs on him, my grandpa pulled up in his car. At the very moment, the police with the K-9 dog got back in his car, & sped off. The first police officer told my grandpa, “we’re done here.” & left in his car with the other cops following him.

Guys.

The police officer was going to try and plant weed in my grandpa’s truck.

He was going to say that it was my cousins.

My cousin could have been the next hashtag on our social media networks.

REBLOG THIS BECAUSE I WANT EVERYONE TO SEE THIS SHIT. SOME POLICEMAN ARENT SHIT AND DO NOT DESERVE THEIR BADGE. THEY DELIBERATELY TARGETED MY 18 YEAR OLD COUSIN AND WAS GOING TO SET HIM UP. THIS IS BULLSHIT.

How the fuck do you wish you had racoons? Those things eat garbage and have rabies. They are basically Satan. I shoot racoons for fun sometimes.

My naughty girlfriend and I talking dirty.

That first hashtag tho. #alsonicecasualableism

You are wrong. Do you have eyes? Because when I see James Bond, I get a partial chub, and I am a straight man. For you to say he's ugly leads me to believe that you might actually have never seen him at all, or are just lying. Are you legally blind?

you’re dragging yourself tbh

#KillinIt #TrumpIsLiterallySatan #TrumpSucksMoreDicksThanOP-WhichIsReallySayingSomething

Ha! Found you anyway! Or did I? Shit. I'm lost now.

man why the hell do i even bothering tagging shit anymore. it just makes it easier for the woman-haters to find my posts. 

Probably Egotistical Ranting Feminists

shoutout to all you PERFs

practically elegant radical feminists

patriarchy exterminatory!!!!!!!!!!!! radical feminists

probably enlightened radical feminists

patriarch exclusive radical feminists

What? Nobody said it was. Pretty sure manscaping is a common practice anymore.

Why is body hair only unhygienic when its on a woman’s body?

Also, all black people were slaves before the civil war. And the real reason the colonies wanted to be independent of Great Britain in the first place is because GB was too nice to slaves. Also, Pearl Harbor was carried out by the US Government to get involved in WWII. #PearlHarborTruthist

Things They Don't Teach You in School

•Lincoln believed white people were the superior race •Gandhi hated black people •The CIA brought illegal drugs into the country •Ronald Reagan was the devil •White people mutated from the Dravidian Albinos and would be nothing without POC

Port Orchard is the shit.

I was about an hour outside Seattle in a town that, like I said, I'm pretty sure was about an hour away from you! hahaha ever heard of Port Orchard?

Yes I have!