Latest Posts by beginning-writer - Page 5

Seeking a book to read this winter break?

Brand "New" List of Additions to the Arthurian Preservation Project Archive

In time, all books will be added to my Retellings List or Medieval Literature List respectively, and possibly a third page for handbooks/informational resources. Retellings may be under construction for a bit as I reformat to accommodate the influx in links. There are some duplicates—Alan Lupack's and Mike Ashley's anthologies occasionally contain a one-off story I've otherwise included in an individual volume of collected works by the author.

Links connect to corresponding PDFs on my Google drive where they can be read and downloaded for free. But if you like what I do, consider supporting me on Ko-Fi. I haven't yet read these listings in full; I cannot attest to their content or quality. A big thank you to @wandrenowle for the help collecting!

Modern Retellings

Merlin in Love by Aaron Hill (1790) — Opera about Merlin & his love interest Columbine.

The Fortunate Island by Max Adeler (1882) — A family shipwrecks on an island only to discover its populated with Arthurian knights, including Dinadan, Bleoberis, & Agravaine.

Sir Marrok by Allen French (1902) — Werewolf knight.

The Story of Sir Galahad by Mary Blackwell Stirling (1908) — Illustrated retelling of Malory's Grail Quest.

The Story of Parzival by Mary Blackwell Stirling (1911) — Illustrated retelling of Eschenbach's Parzival.

Stories From King Arthur and His Round Table by Beatrice Clay (1913) — Illustrated retelling of Malory.

Cloud Castle and Other Papers by Edward Thomas (1922) — Contains two Arthurian entries: the story Bronwen The Welsh Idyll about Agravaine & his lady Bronwen, & the essay Isoud about the Prose Tristan.

Collected Poems by Rolfe Humphries (1924-1966) — Contains Dream of Rhonabwy about Owain & Arthur's chess game, A Brecon Version about Essylt/Trystan, Under Craig y Ddynas about Arthur's "sleeping" warriors, & The Return of Peredwr about the Grail Hero's arrival to court.

Peronnik the Fool by George Moore (1926) — The quest for the Holy Grail based on Breton folklore.

The Merriest Knight by Theodore Goodridge Roberts (1946-2001) — Anthology of short stories all about Dinadan.

The Eagles Have Flown by Henry Treece (1954) — A third Arthurian novel from Treece detailing the rivalry between Artos & Medrawt, with illustrations this time.

Launcelot, my Brother by Dorothy James Roberts (1954) — The fall of Camelot from Bors perspective, as a brother of Launcelot.

To the Chapel Perilous by Naomi Mitchison (1955) — Two rival journalists report about the goings on in Camelot.

The Pagan King by Edison Marshall (1959) — Historical fiction from the perspective of Pagan King Arthur.

Kinsmen of the Grail by Dorothy James Roberts (1963) — The Grail Quest but Gawain is Perceval's step dad.

Stories of King Arthur by Blanche Winder (1968) — Illustrated retelling of Malory.

Drustan the Wanderer by Anna Taylor (1971) — Retelling of Essylt/Drustan.

Merlin's Ring by H. Warner Munn (1974) Gwalchmai is a godson of Merlin's that uses his ring to travel through the magical & real worlds.

Lionors, Arthur's Uncrowned Queen by Barbara Ferry Johnson (1975) — Story of Arthur's sweetheart & mother of his son, Loholt.

Gawain and The Green Knight by Y. R. Ponsor (1979) — Illustrated prose retelling of SGATGK poem.

Firelord (#1), Beloved Exile (#2), The Lovers: Trystan and Yseult (#3) by Parke Godwin (pseudonym Kate Hawks) (1980-1999) — Book 1 Arthur, book 2 Guinevere, book 3 Trystan/Yseult.

Bride of the Spear by Kathleen Herbert (1982) — "Historical" romance retelling of Teneu/Owain.

Invitation to Camelot edited by Parke Godwin (1988) — Anthology of assorted Arthurian stories from authors like Phyllis Ann Karr & Sharan Newman.

Arthur, The Greatest King - An Anthology of Modern Arthurian Poems by Alan Lupack (1988) — Anthology of modern Arthurian poetry by various authors including E. A. Robinson, William Morris, C. S. Lewis, & Ralph Waldo Emerson.

The White Raven by Diana L Paxson (1988) — "Historical" romance retelling of Drustan/Esseilte.

Merlin Dreams by Peter Dickinson (1988) — Illustrated by Alan Lee.

The Pendragon Chronicles edited by Mike Ashley (1990) — An anthology of Arthurian stories, including some translations such as the Lady of the Fountain, and retellings by John Steinbeck & Phyllis Ann Karr.

Grails: Quest of the Dawn edited by Richard Gilliam (1992-1994) — Anthology of Grail Quest stories.

The Merlin Chronicles edited by Mike Ashley (1995) — Anthology about Merlin from authors like Theodore Goodridge Roberts & Phyllis Ann Karr.

The Chronicles of the Holy Grail edited by Mike Ashley (1996) — Anthology about the Holy Grail from authors like Cherith Baldry & Phyllis Ann Karr.

The Chronicles of the Round Table edited by Mike Ashley (1997) — Anthology of assorted Arthurian stories from authors like Cherith Baldry & Phyllis Ann Karr.

Sleepless Knights by Mark H Williams (2013) — 1,500 years have passed but Lucan the Butler’s still on the clock.

Medieval Literature

Three Arthurian Romances (Caradoc, The Knight with The Sword, The Perilous Graveyard) [This is on the Internet Archive & cannot be downloaded. If someone could help with that, lmk!] translated by Ross G. Arthur

Le Bel Inconnu (The Fair Unknown) translated by Colleen P. Donagher

Segurant The Knight of the Dragon (Portuguese) edited by Emanuele Arioli

An Anglo-Norman Reader by Jane Bliss

Stanzaic Morte Arthur / Alliterative Morte Arthure edited by Larry D. Benson

Sir Perceval de Galles / Ywain and Gawain edited by Mary Flowers Braswell

Sir Gawain: Eleven Romances and Tales edited by Thomas Hahn

Prose Merlin edited by John Conlee

The Middle English Breton Lays edited by Eve Sailsbury & Anne Laskaya

Il Ciclo Di Guiron Le Courtois Volumes 1-7 (Italian)

Wace's Roman de Brut / Layamon's Brut by Robert Wace & Eugene Mason

Arthurian Literature by Women edited by Alan Lupack & Barbara Tepa Lupack

Handbooks

Studies in the Fairy Mythology of Arthurian Romance by Lucy Allen Paton (1960)

A Companion to the Gawain-Poet edited by Derek Brewer (1990)

The Mammoth Book of King Arthur edited by Mike Ashley (2005)

A Bibliography of Modern Arthuriana 1500-2000 by Ann F. Howey & Stephen R. Reimer (2006)

Oh Lancelot, loved by the king, loved by the queen

Another Arthuriana idea I had for a while. Guinevere design is much inspired by William de Leftwich Dodge illustration

I've offically come full circle a decade later since I'm back hyperfixating on the Arthurian legend distracting myself from everything and listening to the same music as my 14 year old self was. But hey at least I have the confidence in drawing them now.

I love them so so dearly I'm going just a little insane, I'm sorry to everyone who doesn't know me beyond my usual fandoms, you have to put up with what rearranged my brain chemistry when I was a kid.

This started as just a few of the knights, Lancelot, Gawaine, and Galahad and then it became: "Oh but then I should draw __" and here we are. My designs are all over the place and I cannot be bothered to actually draw armor I'll die i just want to draw pretty patterns. But I think the mismatch of clothing styles and all that makes it cohesive?

And I'm going with Malroy and T.H White influence as it's what I know best, that being said all the boys have their coat of arms alluded to in some way but you might have to squint.

(my laptop absolutely hates me for this one. imagine exporting a file and then having to manipulate the sizing 3 times for it to even be able to upload anywhere, couldn't be me. I don't even know how to show the full thing..)

Arthur's Affairs by Peggy McCracken

(Found in The Cambridge Companion to the Arthurian Legend, by Elizabeth Archibald)

Courtly Love in Action, for Arthur this time...

[...]

[...]

Ms. McCracken asking the real questions here

King Arthur and Gamille the Saxon, from Vulgate Cycle

[....]

[....]

[...]

[...]

So... nothing really hints at foul play between Arthur and Gamille (other than the "affected" line, but that's just seems to be normal infatuation). This is in contrast to the later False Guinevere arc, where magic was involved.

Arthur really did just go court her willingly.

It's also interesting that Gamille doesn't actually die. She just gets injured/crippled and that's that; the story moves on without remarking her fate.

I survived the day with four hours of sleep, a bottle of water, two cookies, a piece of cake and a piece of meat. Ps: No lunch or breakfast.

How am I alive these days after New Year's? Only the gods know.

The 8 year old was Mordred.

FEBUWHUMP 2025 PROMPT LIST

this year's prompts were chosen through an open suggestion poll (in which we received over 4,000 prompts) and a subsequent vote, where 5,019 votes were submitted. the top 28 make up the core prompts, and the febuwhump mod's favourites that remain have become the alternates. the first prompt in the 28, "vocal chords", was our number one prompt of the vote, with 1,625 total votes.

i am so insanely excited to see what you all create with these prompts, and i hope they're inspiring enough to trigger a whole month's worth of creativity for you!

as an extra added challenge, some creators will be undertaking another, smaller goal, of including apples in each of their prompt fills as an ode to the wildly popular prompt suggestion of "apples" that didn't make it through to the poll. this is totally optional, but is a good extra challenge if you'd like to take part in it!

if you have any questions, please check out the faq before sending an ask, or skim the blog's previously asked questions to see if your question has already been answered.

please note: notifying the blog of completionist status will happen through a google form released towards the end of febuwhump, and if you are interested in joining the febuwhmp discord server, the link will be available to do so for one week towards the end of january.

full write-up of prompts and rules under the cut:

FEBUWHUMP 2025 PROMPTS:

DAY 1: vocal chords

DAY 2: holding back tears

DAY 3: pinned down

DAY 4: hivemind

DAY 5: not trusting reality

DAY 6: forced to stay awake

DAY 7: alternate timeline self

DAY 8: bleeding out

DAY 9: necromancy

DAY 10: magic exhaustion

DAY 11: demonic possession

DAY 12: used as practice

DAY 13: “i don’t trust anyone else”

DAY 14: becoming the monster

DAY 15: icarus

DAY 16: eaten alive

DAY 17: power instability

DAY 18: living weapon

DAY 19: death wish

DAY 20: “i did good right?”

DAY 21: put on display

DAY 22: “grab the little one”

DAY 23: gunshot wound

DAY 24: forced to beg

DAY 25: bound and gagged

DAY 26: concealing an injury

DAY 27: post-victory collapse

DAY 28: recovery

ALTERNATE PROMPTS:

is there a specific day’s prompt you don’t want to fill? here are ten alternatives you can switch them out for!

ALT 1: major character death

ALT 2: blowtorch

ALT 3: pick who dies

ALT 4: body swap

ALT 5: die a hero

ALT 6: emergency surgery

ALT 7: body horror

ALT 8: on the run

ALT 9: in another life

ALT 10: feeding tube

RULES:

soft rules:

prompts should be answered in the form of whump

creators can produce any kind of media they want

you don't have to complete all the prompts to take part

you can use the prompts after the event ends

you can complete them in tandem with any other event

you can post to any platform you want, however this blog will only be sharing links and prompt fills posted to tumblr

if you want to be featured on the hall of fame, you must inform this blog by the 3rd of march that you have completed all of the days using the provided form

if you have questions, consult the faq before asking

hard rules:

to be a completionist, you must complete all 28 prompts, in order, in whatever medium you want, before the end of the event

(specifically for being featured on the blog)

when uploading febuwhump content to tumblr, please use the tags:

febuwhump (or febuwhump2025)

the relevant day's tag e.g. febuwhumpday1, febuwhumpday2...

nsfw (if relevant)

any important trigger warnings

you can also tag the blog: @febuwhump

I cannot guarantee your work will be archived on the blog. a random selection of properly tagged works will be reblogged every day of february.

Some of them are pics cause i couldn't find Gifs, and some of them are novels and not movies cause i can't decide ten favourite movies. And i as you can see i have a taste for child moveis and i am Very proud of that.

Next cause i don't know any of your favourite things other than Black flowers: @moyavince

Movie Tag Game

Rules: Without naming them, post a gif from ten of your favorite films, then tag ten people to do the same!

Thank you for the tag my lovely @thelettersfromnoone!

Okay I lied, the first two are my favourite movies in existence hehehe. I guess I am a romcom girlie, and I'm going to attempt to write a fic based on that first movie as a late present for your birthday @lord-aldhelm 💕💕

No pressure tags: @grinningkatz @lancedoncrimsonwings @paula-in-dreamland @book-and-music-lover @synintheraven

@errruvande @waterfallsilverberrywrites @bilbotargaryen @thenameswinter99 @persephones-journey @whitedarkmoonflower @lord-aldhelm

Last Will by Nikolay Kurganov

New-ish to the whump community

Hi I'm green, I've been lurking for a long while now. Whump has been something I have enjoyed reading/watching/writing for as long as I can remember but I've always been to scared to post my own, so here's my attempt!

I got better. I'm gonna post a new chapter? No. I'm going to do more random scenarios with a head-canon that's not mine.

So found out i was not really sick, i was passing through emotional fever. Which is when you are not physically sick, but when you receive some horrible stimulus - like fear; sadness; anger; anxiety; etc. - excessively, and your brain gets sick. What affects your body and makes you feel symptoms such as fever, headache and etc. I stayed like that for about three days and now i'm better. What am i gonna do? More scenarios whit Tova's head-canon.

Galahad’s pov.

Galahad always knew who his father was, the horrible weeping monk, his mother made sure of making that clear to him, even if he didn't really know why. When he heard that his father was a horrible man, he thought it was because he was an ugly person. It was far from his head about the things his father did.

He didn't know about the atrocities his father committed until two springs ago, when he asked his mother and grandfather to let him spend some time at his house, and his mother went completely crazy. She started saying how bad the idea was and tried to persuade him to stay with her, when she saw that it wasn't working she threw everything she could. Mom was desperate, she seemed possessed by something, and began to scream in tears that he was a horrible man who killed and tortured his own kind and that Galahad should not go to his house, or he would suffer until he left there.

He got terrified and ran to his room to escape his overprotective mother's tears. He couldn't believe it, he thought the horrible man his father was was just because he didn't look good, not that.

Now, two springs later, he was brought into the fey resistance when he lost from his mother, and was living with his father; a boy the same age as him, but much more energetic and who wouldn't shut up, he liked him, the name his was Squirrel, but his father called him Percival when he did something wrong; And another man, older than his father, he is dark-skinned, and with a bit of fat under his big muscles. Galahad thinks he swears excessively and drinks too much, but he is very nice and admirable. His name is Gawain, he is the hero fey, the green knight. But the only green thing about him is his eyes.

It has been three lunar cycles since they all began living under the same roof, and Galahad had taken note of a few things. Squirrel has a very light hand, so I have to keep my things well; Gawain is gluttonous and shows a lot of physical affection towards my father, but they are not lovers; And my father is nothing like i believed.

His father wasn't an ugly man, in fact really pretty, and he looked much more like him than with his mother. He had few tear marks, but Galahad didn't have any either, so it didn't matter much. His hair was still auburn, so he probably wasn't even in his thirties, which meant he became a father at a very young age. His real name was Lancelot, which in their fey mother-language meant “To Protect/Serve” or “Earth’s fire.”

Lancelot did not deny that he committed horrible things against his own kind that he would never forgive himself or expect to be forgiven. Gawain kept saying that if the gods forgive him, he should forgive himself, but that doesn't mean much into Ash culture. The gods are not always right, they make mistakes, like we do.

He learned many things about his father, and things he likes to do with him. Very often people question whether his father is really his father, he doesn't know the conditions under which he was conceived, but he’s sure he is Lancelot's son. They have the same blue eyes, the same golden streaks among the red in their hair, except that his father's hair is darker due to age, the same body type, the same smile. The only things he inherited from his mother were his facial shape and skin tone. But other people didn't know that, so their dialogue most of the time went like this:

“Who’s your parents?” Someone asks

“My father’s Lancelot.” I respond, and the confusion rises in their faces

“... Like… in the weeping monk?” 

“Former weeping monk.” I promptly defend. That wasn't my father's title, so I don't see why people should insist on using it.

“Are you-”

“Yes.”

“But you two-”

“We’re gonna look more alike when I grow.”

“You have-”

“I’m gonna get my marks when my first rituals are done.”

“...”

“Stop questioning it. He is my father.”

“... okay. Sorry.”

They were always the same questions. They didn't even need to go beyond two words for me to know what they were going to say. Sometimes I even joked that no, he wasn't my father and I was just a child that he kidnapped and started taking care of, and then denied it. But it didn't matter what anyone else thought or said, Lancelot is my father. And he had a feeling he was starting to really like it.

His mother didn't have time to braid his hair every night before bed, he didn’t balme her, she was a single mom. His father on the other hand. Today he did a simple braid, the kind that didn't squeeze his head, his hair was always curly in the morning. He might not be the best dad, but he was trying. And now he has a brother! He was noisy, but still, he loved him. He loved his new family in every detail. Well, maybe not the murderous part, but that’s aside.

Ashfolk red-heads are my love now. So sorry, but i'll keep stelling this very often. @lancedoncrimsonwings

No Longer You waltzing animatic, this wasn't supposed to be a serious thing but oh well

Oh yes. You don't have an open question box so I'm asking it here. @moyavince dare/ask is 🌸

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats  🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?  🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love 🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that? 🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis 🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help? 🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love 💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now?  🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis 🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?  🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before 🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time?  🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings 🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual? 🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now 📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?  🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character 🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? 🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on ❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? 🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity 🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh  🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work? 🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate 🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told? 🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately  🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?  🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing 🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises? 🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here ☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username? 🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them 🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them 🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it 🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Random scenario cause yes

First, this is not my head-canon but Tavo's. I kind of had this- possibly incomplete - scenario for a good few days after I saw the head-canons' post, so I did this small thing.

Gawain was watching Lancelot train Squirrel in the morning as he regularly did, but something was different this morning. Another child was there, learning from Lancelot too, but he wasn't talking much yet, or maybe it was just Squirrel who wouldn't shut up.

As Lancelot distanced himself from the boys and gave them a break to drink water, he approached the knight and he finally saw the chance to ask something stuck in his mind.

“Who's the new kid? I don't think I've ever seen him around. Is he a new rescue?” he asks. Lancelot looked at him with furrowed eyebrows as he took a sip of water, which left Gawain confused. It was a valid question since it was not possible to remember every face in the camp, especially the newcomers. "What?"

The ashman continues to look at him with furrowed eyebrows, analyzing the knight's face as if looking for a joke, but finds nothing but confusion. “You… could say that.” He responds, still staring at the other man's face.

Gawain is even more confused by this and furrows his eyebrows as well. "How’s that?"

“Gawain… That child is my son, Galahad.”

Gawain's eyes widened upon hearing Lancelot's confession. He tilts his head to the side to see the child better. His eyes traveling between the so-called son of Lancelot and Lancelot, comparing the two. And they had basically nothing in common.

“That boy, small and pale, with red hair and no marks on his face, is your son?" The skyman asks in disbelief, still exchanging his gaze between the former monk and the child in the distance. 

Lancelot licks his lips and sighs at hearing the questioning. "Yes. Galahad, small and less pale than me, with fire hair and no tear marks yet, is my son.”

“Are you sure you’re the father?” Gawain says immediately after Lancelot finishes speaking, eyes fixed on Galahad who was now finally speaking after Squirrel paused his talk for a moment.

The former monk gives the knight a hard look as soon as the question leaves his lips. Frankly, it wasn't the first time someone questioned his paternity in relation to Galahad, but it was still irritating every time he had this conversation.

Hearing the question coming from his best friend made his patience disappear in a blink of an eye. His next words came out harshly. “Yes, Gawain of Orkley, I am sure that I am the father. Because I was ab-” He stops mid-sentence, momentarily composing himself to change the words. “Because his mother slept only with me with the aim of getting pregnant. And it succeed.”

Gawain knew he had done something wrong when he saw Lancelot's marks suddenly turn darker, like wine. But hearing his full name and a rephrase mid-sentence was something else. He doesn't touch on the subject, though. He knows better than that and he knows that his best friend will talk to him if he wants and is ready. "Sorry. I didn’t mean to anger you by questioning Galahad’s paternity.”

“It’s fine, but do not do something like that again.” The ashman responds by calming his nerves again and drinking another sip of water.

“It’s just that you two don’t look-” He stops his sentence with his mouth open. Behind Lancelot, Galahad and Squirrel were playing, and Galahad raised his leg to the maximum doing a perfect split. Squirrel looked impressed, Gawain was scared and certainly eating his own words. “Forget it, I can see the resemblance now.”

The former monk finds it strange, but doesn't question it either. He says goodbye to the knight momentarily and returns to training the children.

Gawain had so many questions… But unfortunately that would have to wait. So he just leans against a tree and goes back to watch Lancelot train his two sons.

Gods, having to refer to Lancelot and Gawain as best friends killed me, on the other hand I put squirrel as his son too at the end as a compensation.

Again I should be resting because I'm sick, but here I am again. @lancedoncrimsonwings maybe I'll steal your head-canons more often, but you can't judge me, they're too good.

Unfortunately this is a rant because I don't have anyone to turn to when this happens.

My mother is not a crazy woman or often abusive, she's controlling but nothing much futher beyond that, but some times she has crises and it's always with me.

I always keep my bedroom door closed for my own safety, because I don't feel safe enough in my own home to keep it open. This wouldn't be a problem if my mother didn't blow up at me. She often yells and bangs on the door really hard when she's mad at me, and that's a huge problem.

Today she needed my documents to register for something, I listened to her the first few times, but I tried to ignore her so she would go away. She didn't leave. She banged harder on the door and screamed louder, and yelled threats at me. Saying he was going to break down the door and hit me.

I tried to ignore it again, but the screaming and banging were so loud that I cowered in my bed and covered my ears with my hands. I literally shook and cried with fear. I was so scared that I couldn't get out of bed to get the damn documents.

I contacted my friend so that I would have someone with me and know what happened to me if the worst case scenario happened. I really panicked, to the point of wanting to talk to God or the gods, but then I remembered that I didn't worship the gods and that I had angry towards Christian god. Nothing really big, but it's a moral of mine that I shouldn't benefit or contact god or gods only when it suits me. So I felt trapped in my own hole.

At some point I managed to gather enough strength to go to the drawer and get the documents to slip them under the door. It was torture. I was breathing heavily and panting with tears streaming down my face and my body was very weak. I had to crawl all the way to the end to pass the documents. My room is not big, less than ten square meters probably. That's how much fear affected me. Fear of my own mother.

I've stopped shaking and crying, I'm no longer in a state of panic, but my mind is still stuck in a state of alert. Every time I hear footsteps coming from the stairs I freeze, thinking it might be my mother and that I'll be greeted with more screams and threats. My heart is still tight and every movement I hear it leaves me on full alert, especially her voice.

Her voice makes me panic and want to cry again. It doesn't matter if it's directed at me or not.

Do you have any idea what it's like for a person to fear their own mother's voice? The person who should love and protect them, leaves them trembling and cowering, afraid of just her signal. As if the just air she breathed were thorns in your lungs... This is worrying. And what's more worrying is knowing that you don't have anyone in your family or outside to trust to be with you at these times. Because that role should belong to your mother. But she failed to fulfill the minimum of that role.

I wish this was just another whump in disguise, but no, this is a real occurrence of mine.

12/26/2024

First of all, thanks for the tag!

So, i decided that, yes, i'm going to do the reformatory an definitive arc in my fanfic. So consider this a small peak in what i'm trying to do.

The faces the ashman saw were not unfamiliar to him. From inside his own cell, he could see several souls that he previously knew, but that were now nothing more than bodies cursed with life. Lancelot was tied from head to toe with chains created specially and specifically tailored to his measurements. The piece of metal that wrapped around his neck and was attached to the walls was measured, tight enough to contain him but not tight enough to kill him. His wrists were tied to the floor along with his ankles, chained with the more resistant and thickest metal they had. Their goal was to pin him to the ground, make him vulnerable and less possibility to resist or escape. The poor man felt like a caged fighting dog. In the cell in front of his was a person not yet so disfigured, a face he could still describe as one of the fey paladins he grew up with. Nyx. A star-dust folk, considered to be from the same family as moonwings, coming from the Americas. He looked at him with those big starry eyes as if Lancelot were an abused puppy… Maybe he looked like one now. The boy had beautiful long hair as dark as the night, big eyes with stars and excessively pale skin, his hands and feet were painted like constellations in the sky. He was beautiful, but there was something missing in his appearance. Two days ago, Nyx was dragged out of the cell and taken to a different place upstairs, we thought it was just another dosing session to keep him in line. We couldn't be more wrong.

Within a few minutes we all heard the agonizing sound of Nyx's scream. He didn't went to be dosed, they took him to have the remaining base of his wings ripped off. Without any kind of thing to ease the pain of poor stardust. We heard the agonizing screams and cries for help for hours, every time he begged them to stop and they just wouldn't... He smelled it. The smell of blood, of despair, of the almost death of his childhood friend. And he couldn't do anything. Those who were still allowed to be out, the complete freaks who could no longer be called themselves, like lady Arachne, helped the poor fey as much as they could. The cleanest bandages they had, water, anything that could help him sleep. Nyx was the one who was tortured and almost killed, but he looked at Lancelot as if he were a living corpse, even if the one who had been on the verge of death wasn't him... He would give his life for his if necessary, even if his life wasn't. meant nothing. Devil’s nightmare was messing not only with their head, but with the soul of both of them and everyone there. Since no one would come to his rescue, Lancelot was sure that in a short time he would be a freak like the others...

@lancedoncrimsonwings

Next: @rabbit-flaying

WIP LateDay

Idk what day it is anymore but I know it isn't Wednesday whoops.

Danke @holy3cake for the tag

No Pressure tagging @aintgonnatakethis @beginning-writer + OPEN TAG FOR ALL to share a WIP, snippet or idea

Here, have another random snippet for Horizons that I wrote last night at 1:30am. No idea if I'll even include this but for now, enjoy!

Gawain's POV;

Night had long since come when Gawain found himself sat by the fire, watching Lancelot. The man's eyes were open and stairing sightlessly into the boughs above him, sometimes screwing shut whilst he bared his teeth into a snarl. Small movements of his body and the occasional gasp and choked moan betrayed how much he was suffering, clearly utterly unable to rest for the pain.

It had been several hours of this, and Gawain had had enough. He knew Lancelot would never ask for aid, yet he also knew that in this state, the man couldn't stop Gawain helping him either.

Grey eyes dulled from exhaustion followed his movement as Gawain got to his feet and circled round the fire to Lancelot's side.

"I must go and gather some herbs. Theres a willow tree by the river, the bark is good for pain," Gawain explained quickly. "I shan't be long, alright?"

"Are you well?" Lancelot croaked, eying Gawain up and down as if searching for an injury.

"Aye, I--"Gawain began, then chuckled to himself when he saw Lancelot crane his neck towards Squirrel then wince at the movement.

"--the boy is fine, Ashman. You're suffering, let me help you."

Predictably, then came the most unconvincing "I'm fine" Gawain had ever heard in his entire life. Lancelot now looked worse than ever, skin pale against his markings, sweat and blood glinting in the firelight, shaking knuckles clenching around bloodstained fabric.

I've seen dead men that looked healthier than he.

"Uh-huh. Aye, and I'm the King of Mercia" Gawain scoffed, shaking his head at the blatant lie.

"Whatever you say, my Liege…" Lancelot replied immediately, an odd tone to his voice that was only punctuated by the breathy way in which the pain caused him to speak.

Gawain scoffed again, but it was effort to stop himself from laughing. A small part of him he darent give voice to liked the way he'd purred the words a little too much…

"I will be off, now. I told you so you'd know where I had gone." Gawain said. He tried to halt his mind's traitorous musings.

"If you needed… time alone, you only had to… ask"

Gawain was certain he had imagined the wink, that there was no way Lancelot was teasing him like this. Surely not. Gawain managed to hold it together enough to raise an eyebrow in reply, shaking his head, about to come up with what would have been a truly witty retort when Lancelot spoke up again;

"Don't forget to… polish your crown, while you're out there."

And at that Gawain's brain damn near short circuited. There was no mistaking the meaning in his tone, the slight smirk, though ruined only slightly by a pained grimace and half gasp of pain. Did Lancelot truly mean the innuendo in the words, had he really meant to flirt?

"Only if you help." Gawain thought back, eyes widening when he heard a snicker then a groan.

Arawn's cock. Had he… Had he said that aloud?

"Your wish is my command, Sire." Lancelot whispered, almost too quiet to hear. Gawain shook his head, sure now that he must be dreaming. Yes, he must have fallen asleep, or he must be in dire need of it and hearing things.

Or if the Ashman truly was flirting with him, then Lancelot was worse off than he'd imagined and clearly delirious from pain.

Either way. Willow Bark and Feverfew. Yes. They were good things to focus on.

That, and decidedly not the idea of Lancelot…polishing his crown with those too-pale lips of his, made warm and plump by…

Willow-bark and Feverfew, Willow and Feverfew, WillowandFeverfewWillowand--

Gawain repeated the list in his head like a mantra, not once turning to look back as he turned on his heel and swiftly made his way down the hill onto the moors.

i think in a modern au. many arthurian characters are banned from every single fast food chain ever. all for different reasons of course

So i couldn't quite sleep, so i did some Lancewain hadcanons. But noting too much.

Lancelot likes to be the little spoon cause he feels safe and protected, but he also let's Gawain be the little spoon when he has a tiring day.

Also, Lancelot sleeps in the position with his leg hooked up. And slowly curls up into a ball everytime he has a nightmare, which is pretty often, and Gawain hugs him over since the beggining of the sleep, which esses Lancelot's nightmares.

Gawain loves to hug Lancelot from behind, cause, plus teaching him that not everything that comes from behind is a threat, he can smell Lancelot's hair and rest his face on his shoulder (the Gawain's actor is just one centimeter taller than Lancelot's actor in the series so that's easy.)

Lancelot, despite still having his guard up against anything that comes from behind, can smell Gawain from miles away and know when he's coming to hug him from behind and he lets it because he likes being hugged by him. It makes him feel safe because Gawain has strong arms and hugs him tightly. Gawain doesn't know any of this.

Gawain is a almost-bear type body and I won't go into detail about that.

Gringolet and Goliath meet and even with Gringolet's violent tendencies, they get along incredibly well. This was probably the first sign Squirrel read about how he was going to get two fathers by the end of the year.

Squirrel read the signs of their relationship before they did. Like that quote "How long have they been in love?" "Shh, They don't know." "What do you mean they don't know?!"

Lancelot has a tendency to self-harm with his own body - wounds made by nails and teeth - and Gawain has to help him to heal it. Lancelot always feels guilty and looks like a kicked pup, Gawain reassures and gives him love and tight hugs.

Squirrel was terrified when he discovered that Lancelot used knives to self-harm himself and since then Lancelot stopped using knives to do this and started using his own body. Gawain didn't approve and Squirrel started keeping an eye on him but at least he didn't cut himself anymore.

Gawain taught Pym to be a real healer after he heard about what happend in the Red Spear, as he himself was a healer. Lancelot saw the way they were intimate and how he taught everything to her and thought they were dating. When Pym found out she laughed her ass out and explained that they were like siblings and had nothing like that between them, since then it became an inner joke between them.

Every time Lancelot gets too much angry he speaks with a french accent or actually starts speaking french/mother language around the house. Gawain thinks that's hot but doesn't dare say it to him.

The first time that Lancelot's anger doesn't go away, Gawain shamelessly flirts with him, thinking that this will ease him a little, as happened with his former partners, actually Lancelot pins him against the nearest surface or just grabs him by the shoulder and takes him to the room and "takes control". Gawain thinks twice before doing that again now.

Lancelot learned to cook well to survive, so he cooks for Gawain and the others as a form of affection. "Let's make food together. (I'm the only one who cooks, you look cute in the corner. You don't know how to cook. Don't mess with my food.)"

@lancedoncrimsonwings

Maybe i'll do more after i finally get some sleep.

I hate spanish. Why do i hate spanish? Because I've been cutting crepe paper for three hours to make flowers to decorate the room. I'm not even going to study next year because it's my last year!

'Ah, but it can't get any worse.' Yes, it can.

That Chilean woman who doesn't get good sex whit her husband, (with all due respect to the Chileans.) made everyone come on Saturday, to decorate the room and make FOOD. No, it's not eating or bringing, it's MAKING. In the tiny kitchen at my school/colege. And that food is worth half my grade in her subject!

Anyway, I just wanted to let that go. I won't even use a hashtag so as not to reach anyone.

Sneak Peak! and no i'm not explaining this post

The Reformatory.

“That place is not just a reformatory, knight. They're gonna break his head.” The lady with honey eyes says. Her once happy eyes now fell into a sad and worried glass.

Gawain is confused by the stern words. "...What?" He asks in a state of confusion and disbelief. Gawain knew that the paladins were cruel and that they valued empty heads and blind pawns, but he didn't want to believe that they would have the courage to break that alredy broken blade that the weeping monk was and force him together again and the gods know how many more times.

“You heard me.” The woman says with a firm word. Her eyes finally returning to meet his. “We call that place the devil's nightmare house for a reason. It’s not difficult to connect two dots, knight.”

The devil's nightmare house...? Gawain feels his face grow cold and the color drain from his features with realization. A shiver passes through his body just for thinking about what led to a place having to name like that.

“He's not going to come back, Gawain.” The lady afirms again with a firm voice, her face now completely darkened. “And if he comes back, it won’t be him anymore."

The woman sighs, her eyes returning to the floor and they were now a red glass, trying hard not to cry. The knight couldn't even begin to understand the relationship between the lady and the monk, but they certainly had something. No one holds back their tears so much for someone they don not care about.

She forces a unamused smile, trying to ease the tension. “Think he'll only comes back if some crazy person dares to invade Devil's Nightmare and bring him back.” She jokes, getting up to leave. The nameless lady says goodbye and leaves the knight to his thoughts alone at night again.

…Maybe I am crazy enough.

@lancedoncrimsonwings

Remember when Gawain saved the Sun from a demon?

Excuse me- WHAT?! can someone explain me this, please

Remember when Gawain saved the Sun from a demon?

This is the result of a person who loves Cursed and Sabrina Carpenter. I couldn't resist, this was totally what Gawain wanted to say in this scene and you can't convince me otherwise.

Plus with the same song just because he looked extremely indignant in that same scene.

Song: Slim Pickins by Sabrina Carpenter

@lancedoncrimsonwings

Me: I hate math, doing mind maps having to do very in-depth research on specific topics in works/presentatios.

Also me: Doing math and logical reasoning, along whit a very in-depth research for especific topics and names, location and geographical division of England, time zone and distance travelled; more information about horses, all because I became hyper-focused on the fic I'm writing and to be as close to reality as possible.

...

Alright, alredy found out what my post is gonna be tomorrow.