> Be The High Chaplain Of The Blood Angels

I remembered some funny (in a bad way) things that ppl constantly wrote in r/40kLore, when I still used my Reddit account. This community has always been a treasure trove of cringe.

BEHOLD, THE OVERUSED DISCUSSION, EVERYONE IS SO TIRED OF: "DO THE SPACE MARINES HAVE SEX?"

Not only these guys brought up this topic every month, but they typed such idiotic things that I wanted to hit my head on the table.

My favorites:

1) "Space Marines don't have balls/genitals, they're basically smooth Ken dolls."

By the Dark Gods, where did they even get that from... And who then are their smooth Barbies?!

2) "They're sterile, so they can't have sex."

I think I studied some wrong things in medical university for 5 years. How can you confuse "sterile" with "impotent"? "Sterile" men can't have children - not sex! And yes, Astartes are canonically unable to conceive.

3) "Even Slaaneshi CSMs are not interested in sex, only in killing and torture."

Lots of excerpts from various novels and other lore bits where they're described having sex/relationship with each other, daemons and their slaves - are we a joke to you? Or do these guys need detailed E-rated scenes to understand it?

The self-proclaimed lore messiahs also love to say: "Slaanesh is not about sex! Stop constantly talking about it!"

The joke is - I almost never saw anyone who would say that, but, again, this topic was brought up constantly. Basically purists' neuron activation posts.

Damn, Slaanesh IS about sex AND other things (torture, art, music: excesses and hedonism in everything) too! But some people outright try to exclude this specific aspect when it's absolutely wrong. Because "no s*x in my Christian incel fantasy, no-no, sir!"

One person typed that Kasperos Telmar, aka The Radiant King, had "harem" of daemon "courtesans" and mentioned his "lovers".

This is where I died: some prude answered this person that "it was not specified that The Radiant did anything sexual with them!"

OF COURSE, YOU DO NOTHING SEXUAL WITH YOUR HAREM OF HOT BOVINE-CRUSTACEAN-WOMEN! THEY WERE JUST PLAYING REGICIDE UNDER THE BLANKET! EVERY CHAOS LORD DOES IT, WDYM?

Yeah, this book was a huge disappointment. I waited so long for it to come out, and all for this? A boring plot, mostly uninteresting empty characters who could have been interesting, but they were just killed! Not to mention that the characters didn't feel like legionnaires of the Third at all. You could easily cross out "Emperor's Children" and write "random SM Imperial Chapter, gone renegade", and personally I wouldn't notice the difference. In the end, Xanthine began to irritate me so terribly that I wanted to punch him in the face! I don't understand what happened to the author: A More Perfect Union was a great story! It was as if someone forced him to write nonsense. Or maybe I just overestimated him.

Lord of Excess was a big letdown for me. But it made me realize one very surprising thing: McNeill isn't such a bad EC-author! There are far worse ones out there!

At least Graham had two shining moments of brilliance in Crimson King (immediately dropped the ball afterwards, but, hey, babysteps!).

So, let me forget about McCormick. He gave me hope with a really good short story and a good first half of a novel. But now, with this second half of the novel riddled with logical inconsistencies, holes in the story big enough to drive a landraider through without scratching the paint and the endless same-same of "betrayal-idiocy-depravity", I need him to walk away from anything EC as briskly as possible. Let my poor guys bask in the fading glory of Reynolds and the few things Kyme, Wraight and St.Martin wrote. Maybe someday some author will come along to carry Josh's torch further! But not today.

At the moment it's fanfiction and fanart for me.

(Pic of Lucius just because I want to. And because McCormick didn't let me keep any good chars. He destroyed them all. To shreds, you say?)

I just stumbled upon the Sexypedia, trying to find out who tf Miguel O'Hara was (turns out the Spider Man fella, but it doesn't matter).

AND HEAR ME OUT!

There is no Fulgrim! NO. FULGRIM.

I found Sanguinius, Konrad and Magnus (fair enough), but not the unbelievably hot shapeshifting snek man? Really..?

That's it, I'm calling the Dark Prince rn. Your Sexypedia is not sexy enough.

I have an intense love/hate relationship with Lucius. I really like him as a character, but as a person? Oh boy, even my heretical Slaaneshi arse can't forgive what he did to my poor sweet boys Saul and Solomon. This was too low even for a traitor. And the fact that Tarvitz actually loved this bastard to the very end ripped my heart to shreds.

I found this excerpt in the Liber Hereticus:

Yes, Saul's last thoughts were of Lucius, and the latter's betrayal caused Tarvitz the worst pain he had ever felt.

No, I definitely didn't take 4th degree emotional damage from a couple of sentences, haha, ofc not...

I found this excerpt in the Liber Hereticus:

Yes, Saul's last thoughts were of Lucius, and the latter's betrayal caused Tarvitz the worst pain he had ever felt.

No, I definitely didn't take 4th degree emotional damage from a couple of sentences, haha, ofc not...

Hey, I just wanted to say that your works on AO3 made my days when I read them. I said it once under one of your fics and I want to it here - again. I remember reading Chasing Perfection and Til the Stars Grow Cold until the sun came up because I couldn’t put it down.

I was also harassed by these aggressive menchildren for nothing. I felt sad. But then I thought: they literally can't do anything valuable in their lives. Can they do smth like you? Like us? Nah, they can only beef. The lack of intelligence is the worst punishment ever.

So I typed up a long response with facts and lore snippets about how things change in the 40k universe all the time and was ready to post it as a response to a Facebook thread going insane about the new Woman Custode. But then I thought better of it and deleted it.

These people crying about it dont care about either lore or facts. They have their hate and misogyny and that is all that matters. They love to make others just as miserable as themselves and I refuse to engage in that.

Its like the old saying, “Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their leven and beat you with experience.

So what can we do that is actually constructive to meet these idiots? Do it with love, with happiness and joy. Trolls crack in the sunlight after all.

If you have a Facebook or Twitter account, go to the post and write how happy and excited you are about these releases. Show others they arent alone in wanting this. And of course, the bottom line, if you have the expendable money, buy the things you like.

And if someone responds negatively to your comment, just block them and move on. You won't miss them.

Oh, I know their kind. There're lots of them on Reddit (that's why I hate it and ignore this shithole).

"I only watch ""lore"" videos on YT, but now I fancy myself as a loremaster and will spam my incorrect bs everywhere!"

I've read tons of BL's novels and even I don't claim that I know everything. Because this universe is freaking huge! Many ppl online asked me how and what they should read to be introduced to WH40K. I don't correct anyone - I explain them what I can and help them to understand. Tf you would harass them? I just really hope that, because of me, some folk had a good time, reading a good book!

Can I be honest here,

I find highly ironic that people will harass new fans just because "ew you don't know all the 400 books and 200+ short stories, you're new and ignorant, ew", then will proceed to correct them and

*drum roll*

They are wrong or hold incomplete knowledge themselves.

I registered on Tumblr three long years ago and never posted anything. So, what will my first post be about? Something of current interest. Let it be a female Custodian, why not?

BY SLAANESH, THE OFFENDED GUYS' ARSES ARE BURNING SO BRIGHT THAT THERE'S NO NEED FOR THE ASTRONOMICAN IN THE IMPERIUM NIHILUS ANYMORE! *ba-dum tss*

And the vast majority of them - who would've guess! - are straight men. Mind you, I don't want to talk shit about all cishet men - there're lots of good open-minded guys (like my close friends), but their "kin" certainly don't do them justice. Imagine: one single woman in a previously all-male faction can ruin the whole hobby for you! Really? Have you really liked it that much in the first place?

One dude basically typed the whole-ass lecture in reply to my jesting (!) comment (in which I didn't even write that I wanted Girlstodes! I just wrote that ppl, who wanted them, are laughing now!). He acted like some overzealous Dark Apostle. Why? I dunno.

"The Custodes contain the Holy Emperor's gene-seed and are breeded to be loyal only to him! That's why they can't be women!" said this dude... Sorry, WHAT? MFer, your logic is deader than Horus and his soul is fckn obliterated!

Then he wrote that a petition with several thousand signatures needs to be created so that the Custodians remain an exclusively male faction, that GW tries to please the "screaming minority" and that Dan Abnett needs to take his pills. Yes, he was dead-serious.

These guys try to justify themselves this way: "I hate this idea because GW made a retcon and this is against their lore - not because I'm misogynistic and hate women (a-ha, I totally believe you)." Well, I bet that we, girls, wouldn't have started the whole barbaric shit-storm if GW had made the Brother of Battle! Let's be real: you don't care about the lore (or I would've 100% respected your opinion) - you use it as a shield. You only care about your ego - so fragile that it can be broken by one single blow, like a crystal glass.

I can understand why some ppl don't like the female Astartes: the Primarch's gene-seed is required for their creation and it's only male-compatible canonically. But the Custodians are created in a completely different way! Their genetics is altered on the molecular level with some unreal and long-forgotten science-sorcery. The Emperor basically made the pinnacle of human creation. Only the men can be the "pinnacle", eh? The duality of life as it is, lmao.

"The Phoenician: Illustration by an Unknown Remembrancer"

Slightly inspired by the Fayum mummy portraits.

Feel free to reblog on Tumblr. Do not post on other social media without my consent, thank you!

A little bit about myself: She/her, 22 y.o., aroace. English is not my native language, but I try to hone my skills in it!

Self-taught traditional artist, I work in experimental technique: basically use every material I can find. If I suddenly get inspired, I can draw my art on some ugly piece of paper. A bad habit that I'm trying to wean myself from.

Drawing has been my passion since childhood, but due to the fact that I first prepared for exams at school, and then spent 5 years at medical university, I put my hobby on hold for a long time.

I spend a lot of time on my work and have a very poor health (ironically), but I'll try to upload something new as often as possible!

My favorite fandoms: J. R. R. Tolkien's Legendarium, M. Moorcock's Elric novels, The Elder Scrolls, The Witcher, Baldur's Gate, Soulsborne, Dragon Age & Mass Effect, DnD & R. A. Salvatore's novels, varioud oldschool sci-fi/fantasy/horror anime/films/series.

For now, Warhammer 40K is my main passion, but I'll definetely draw something else too!

I'm currently trying to write fanfiction. I also suffer with my historical novel about English Civil War (I'm a horrible Anglophile).

I can sometimes post my thoughts, excerpts from the books or a random meme.