Headcannon That Jason Got The Headstone From His Grave And Put It Above His Bed Because It Says 'Here

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

Madara looks surprised and turns back to his alternate, but it's the youngest version that speaks. "Ah, really? And you still were eying our lovers, big Brother, even knowing that mine is yet untouched..."

The youngest Tobirama narrows his eyes, unsure whether he should oppose the Madara's claim of him as a lover. He glances at his alternates and sees a hint of mischief in their eyes. Purposefully, he looks down and away, stepping closer to the oldest version's side as if shy and trying to hide. He keeps his face as innocent as possible as he glances through the fringe of his white hair towards the eldest Madara.

Sugar!Tobi smothers his own amusement as he steps forward to playfully wrap his arm around the eldest's waist. "Mm~ that would mean that you were my younger self's age when your Madara began to pursue you..."

I love and support Steve Hofstetter so much you guys have no idea how much of a comedy groupie I am for him

A little thing, a personal grievance, to throw into the void like a note in a bottle.

I know my family isn't perfect; no one's family is. I get that if I want a birthday party I have to arrange it myself. The thing is, I did arrange it, just a little one for family. I made the plans and set things up and... Well, I can't be mad that people came down with the flu. Sickness happens!

So we can postpone it. I'm used to that anyway - Mom and Dad are usually out of town on my birthday, or for several years my birthday was the same day or weekend of the Super Bowl. I'm used to skipping day-of celebrations. So I wait.

I try again some weeks later. Just a little thing for myself and my two siblings. I check in about availability, I let them know the day and time, they know the plan. I've got limited money and energy, but I'm spending it trying to get my family's attention on me like a true middle child.

The day comes, the time ticks by. My brother sends a text that he can't make it, he's burnt out from work. That's okay, that's fine. We'll do something together later! I check in with my sister, reminding her of the party. She says she's too busy today - she's cleaning her house.

I put everything away.

I drank alone for the first time in two years.

I bet he only really had a contingency plan for Damian just as a therapy thing. Like how some people write fanfiction. Everyone else's plans was the equivalent of "meme on them", "join them", or "pretend I'm Batman trying to talk Superman out of mind control (again) (wear chapstick, this could get gay)"

Tim Drake (1998): I don't make contingency plans because I have friends, unlike Batman who is a friendless loser

Tim Drake (2009): My contingency plans have contingency plans

Like a year ago I mentioned to @asknotbug that I was reading all the "Billy Batson gets adopted into the Bat-family" fics and THEY, THEY told me about the Danny Phantom adoption fics. I held out for like six months but guEsS WhAt I'm ReAdInG nOw?!

Worst of all is that so much of it is really good lmao

Danny Phantom is also super easy to consider as an allegory to being a closeted queer teen in a small Midwestern town. And sometimes it's just about a ghost boy.

Anyway, thanks again @asknotbug, I'm having a great time. May any curses against you fall upon your enemies.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

SugarTobi moans quietly, rolling his hips against gvTobi with a short gasp against his neck. "F-Fuck...Yeah, yes, he'd like...Not too deep, we haven't, ah, trained ourselves yet..." SugarTobi's other hand braces itself on the eldest Tobi's hip and squeezes appreciatively. "Yeah, let him suck...He learns so fast~"

The youngest is shaking, lips parted and breath hot on gvTobi's thumb. His hand slides down the other him's arm to loosely hold his wrist. He wants to move forward himself, curl his tongue around the digit and take it into his mouth, but...Fuck, he also wants the other version if himself to take charge and...and fuck his mouth with whatever he damn well pleases. ("Not too deep". How embarrassing. What, is he the only one here with a gag reflex?)

SugarTobi's eyes flicker up to find gvMadara's, dazed and already near to falling into subspace. "Right..." he returns his attention to the man in his arms. "Command me, then. Tell me what you want me to do to your lovely body..." Dizzily, he becomes certain that he has spent too much time around Madara to have picked up some of his favorite descriptors of Tobi's body.

He huffs a laugh against his elders shoulder as he changes hands and begins to massage the man's nipples. That's new, too. Neither Sugar personally care about those, so...it's interesting. Caressing the parts of this body that is so similar to his own that if he looks down he can almost pretend he is touching himself. "Of course...don't go far past the uvula. He likes when you pet his tongue and let him suck..." A full body shiver goes through the youngest and he whines needly. "The...The palatine tonsils should be the limit..."

SugarTobi watches, enraptured, as his younger self begins to drift into subspace from gvTobi's fingers and voice alone. "Fuck...he's falling already? Wow..." He lightly bites his elder's shoulder to make sure he's paying attention. He's a bit jealous of the youngest, but won't let himself fall until he is sure that gvTobi can handle both or either of them. "He's going to be...extremely suggestible like this. Obeying orders is going to leave him euphoric...could probably get him off with praise alone." Not that SugarTobi knows anything about that. Madara's voice telling him what a good boy his is has certainly never brought him to one of the most intense orgasms of his life, no.

"It's....complete trust. If you get overwhelmed or don't want him...send him to my Madara; he will treat him well." He glances at the man he is speaking of and draws a short, stuttering breath at the intensity of the attention the Madaras are giving to them. The two Madaras in varied states of undress almost make him laugh and do fill him with a sense of accomplishment. Some of the most powerful ninja in the world are shucking their robes and running their hands over each other while hardly looking away from the trio of pretty lookalikes.

He meets the passionate gaze of the eldest Madara and presses his thumb down just a bit on the head of his alternate's dick on his next stroke. SugarTobi might shoot the man an arrogant smirk as he does.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

SugarTobi will be taking that admission as permission and presses a kiss to the back of gvTobi's neck, "Let me help you out with that, hm? Help you take the edge off..." he begins stroking lazily, mouth hot against his elder's neck. "Mm, mine does that too, but...they always wear those gloves. They're sooo sensitive there...gods..."

The youngest of them watches with rapt attention and reaches out without really thinking to brush his fingers lightly over the seals on gvTobi's shoulder, asking almost shyly, "Can I help?"

SugarMadara raises an eyebrow at his shorter alternate, "Really, yours is so obstinate? Try giving mine a command..." He smirks again in his lover's direction, knowing the man can hear him, "He knows he will be well rewarded if he's good~ I'll call a halt if you get too outrageous."

The youngest Madara hums quietly and reaches out to take his older self's naked hand. "Perhaps they shouldn't be the only ones giving a show?" He kisses the palm, eyes challenging. The elder of the two chuckles.

"We do seem to be a little overdressed for this, don't we?"

I would like to announce that my little brother is a little bitch (nongendered) and I love him dearly.

I was texting him about a recent tragic realization about strawberries. And this little fucker who stole my height and testosterone from before the womb goes:

Little Bro: so that's bananas, pecans, milk, and strawberries

LB: all hurt your mouth

LB: gonna need to Kevorkian you with a banana split in a few years at this rate

Anyway I called him a cunt and I feel justified in that action. We love each other very much.

And that's very much how I see current Tim and Damien's relationship with each other. It's fun to playfully hate on a sibling who can bite back. It's flyting, but without the poetry.

There are lots of fics about Batman being a bat shifter or being magically turned into a bat. I think there should be more of them. And that they should feature more confused bats swimming in the wet air.