They Are Eating All My Brain Cells

Listen the ‘Bruce brought dick in to stop him killing Zucco” is fun

You know what’s more fun

The fact that Dick Grayson is the fundamental opposite of Jokers one bad day

Because he was 9 and insane

Jokers “all it takes is one bad day” meet Dick Grayson also terminally insane but in the opposite direction.

(“I had a bad day not a fan, it’s illegal now”

“Chum murder is already illegal”

“Yeah in the eyes of the law, but who follows that! I’ve decided it’s illegal for people to have bad days”

“You have to follow laws Dick. You have to”

“Says the man getting shot at by the cops bc he dresses as a giant bat monster and fights crime using ancient martial arts”

“Hnnng”

“Anyway it’s illegal now, people suffering I have decided and I’m adorable so what I say goes!”

Bruce pinching bridge of nose “Dick you can’t save everyone and change every person you meets life”

“How about! No!”

“Di-“

“Great talk Bruce! Bye bye now!”)

Like when I say Dick Grayson was the crazy Robin I don’t mean he was aggressive or cruel

No I mean this man would not be out of place in Lewis Carol’s Alice in wonderland.

He’d see all the insane shit in Gotham and go ‘that makes perfect sense’ and continue on his merry way

Like he’s the type of kid who when he’s mad at Bruce for sidelining him on a fight against the joker (and making him fight Harley)

Will pull out a chessboard, grab Harley Quinn and go “I win, you get arkhamed you win we fight”

“Kid-“

“I have a gymnastics competition coming up and I wanna show up this douche in my class- you are not breaking my legs before then. Sit down. Play chess”

“Shit kid why didncha say so”

Why does he wanna fight the Joker who will objectively injure him far more throughly

“Well it’s simple math, I grew up in a circus, I like clowns, he is the biggest disgrace to clownery I’ve ever seen bet he didn’t even go to clown college. Doesn’t even have any iconic makeup, he just has toxic waste skin?? Like not even eye makeup or a red nose?? If you wanna do thematic crime do it right? Anyway it’s my legal obligation to try at any given moment to reck the embarrassment to all things goofy and funs shit.”

—————

Bruce looking for his 9 year old ward who was kidnapped as Robin

Dick hanging upside down on semi sentient vine gesturing wildly at poison Ivy who is nodding empathically

“And the water here is not normal!! Like how do you grow plants! I used to have to take care of plants all the time and now if I water them they rot! Like right in front of me!!? And I feel so bad but?? It’s water?? Please drink it?? Mr plant”

“Oh yeah it’s because of all the toxic ace chemicals in the water, you have to triple filter it. Honestly Robin I’m disappointed, your plants should be drinking the same water as you”

“ they do tho!”

“You…drink… Gotham tap water? Batman lets you drink Gotham tap water?”

“Well no… he always tells me to use the filter but I like the tap water!! Sometimes it’s fun colors and spicy”

“oh… oh that explains so much about you..”

“No he just came like that.”

“Oh HI B I was asking miss Dr.ivy why my plants keep dying”

“Robin don’t consort with villains”

“Miss Dr. Ivy you’re a doctor right”

Poison Ivy who is violently amused “PHD not MD but yeah I am”

“So you’re smart”

“Yeasss”

“Cool!…. What does consort mean?”

————-

Annoys the riddler by going with the most out of pocket technically true answer

Think “a sparrow with a shotgun”

———-

Makes the Jokers goons laugh, louder than the joker. Even while under threats of death by sufficiently wacky murder plot

———-

Ask culture flashbang!!

What’s your favorite Dick Grayson fanfic you’ve written? I’ve dabbled in fanfic but never for DC despite him being my favorite character ever lol

Well my favorite one I’ve written for him that’s published is “on nights like these”

My favorite one I’ve written is coming out in a few days and it’s Dick & Bruce Angst (my drug of choice)

Thank you so much for the question!!!

DICK GRAYSON and TALIA AL GHUL coparenting is such a cruel and unusual punishment for both of them but also for damian. I know they don’t do a good job of it either it’s a shitshow in the way typically only brought on by an acrimonious divorce. First time these behaviors have been seen outside of a walmart parking lot weekend custody swap

I love those incorrect Wayne family posts where a baby bat (usually dick) calls Bruce to be like … so the house is on fire….

But what’s infinitely funnier

Is the fact that

Dicks house blew up, the circus was burned down, everyone he so much as brushed shoulders with on the street was being gunned down, his last link to learning his language lost.

He then finds out all of this happened due to a traffic jam, watched a man die in front of him, had a panic attack on a rooftop, had…stuff that’s less than savory and I will not discuss done to him on said rooftop by a former FBI agent who was sisters with the district attorney.

And he still didnt call Bruce.

Dick Grayson would rather commit suicide via radioactive city than ask Bruce Wayne for a dime.

and the best part is when its not Dick its Tim

the boy who invented a fake uncle so CPS couldn't fuck with him and he didn't wanna ask Bruce to adopt him

Bruce adopted Dick so that Tims fanboy instincts (I got adopted by one direction au except its the last survivor of a niche acrobat troupe you were obsessed with as pre-teen) would override his repulsion at asking Bruce for help.

Like Tim calls Dick for help with casework and goes "only bruce is free... guess ill just die then lol"

and when Dick needs help... he calls superman (not bruce) or the titans (who hate bruce) or he also goes "well Ive had a good run let me see if I can mask this attempt on my life as a last bid at heroics"

Bruce would cry tears of pure joy if Dick or Tim called him for help with anything ever. (after testing to see if the weren't replaced by clones and also half expecting this to be a case of being trapped in a dreamworld)

like the rest of the kids also wouldn't call Bruce but these two are the ones who like bruce (mostly in Tims case.... Occasionally in Dicks but yeah)

there's Cass but she fought Wonder Woman and broke into stephs, babs, dicks and Bruces places for shits and giggles she's not asking anyone for shit.

Have I read all of these… no

Will I start… soon

But everyone read Steph brown she’s my baby

STEPHANIE BROWN READING ORDER

For those who, like me, when they like a character they need to read every single comic the character appears in, I have compiled a list of all of Stephanie Brown’s appearances from her debut up to the 2011 Flashpoint reboot (not including New 52 continuity).

Okay but imagine for a second

You’re Bruce Wayne, Batman

The richest, smartest man in every room you have walked into since you turned 20

Every bit of information is at the tip of your fingertips money, brawn and brains are no object

And then you take in a child

Named Dick Grayson

From the circus, who has the most flimsy proof of his existence you’ve ever seen with a birth certificate that looks too worn to properly make out the parents named without knowing them before.

No passport despite traveling all over the globe

No form of identification

So you give the kid an ID and everything is fine

He becomes Robin

Joins a team

Becomes nightwing

Runs all the teams

Becomes Batman

Runs himself into the ground

And then Dicks in his 20s and he’s sick

Really sick

It’s not viral, fungal, parasitic or bacterial

No one else you know has this

And he’s getting sicker

He can’t walk without help and spends all his days wrapped up in blankets fighting off never ending shivers.

He mixes up his brothers names and sometimes outright forgets some of the kids

He didn’t recognize Kori a few weeks ago and hasn’t remembered her since

So Everytime he blearily asks “who are you again?” They All answer with the knowledge that this might be the him decaying blue eyes don’t spark with recognition

The first time it happened it was horror and tears “an Oh my god! I’m so sorry I love you you’re my brother” over time it’s devolved into an “oh right…hi Jason”

And the doctors ask for his family history

Maybe. Maybe there is something that could save him, bring him back or stop this descent… this fall from happening to the most untouchable man that’s ever lived.

(Tim threw up after he saw Dick burst into tears, head resting on Alfred’s shoulder when he realized he couldn’t walk without help- they need to stop this)

So they dig

And dig

And dig

And nothing

There’s no evidence of the Graysons before John, the Lloyd’s before Mary.

Neither had been to a doctor anytime in the states at least

Bruce had redone all of Dicks vaccines once he acquired guardianship of him.

There was nothing

Nothing on his aunts or the uncle that was his namesake

There’s just nothing

Bruce realizes he doesn’t even know Dicks ethnic background. 1000s of tests he’s ran and he doesn’t even know if Dick has ever been to his parents home countries

They do every test they can come up with to try and fake a comprehensive family history

Mary Grayson was a fake name

So way John

They don’t know the real ones

Bruce finds out the mother of his son is Syrian and Romani and the boys first father is Afghani and Italian.

He finds out Mary’s father fled from Syria during the 60s and settled in Germany

He finds out that John Grayson and his brother were orphans together

He can’t even tell you which one of them gave Dick his blood type.

He knows everything

He’s the smartest man in every room he’s ever walked into

And he won’t be able to save his son

Because the boy who holds Bruce Wayne’s very heart in his hands knows that the best way to stay in the shadows is simply to show so little everyone will fill in blank spots with jarring inaccuracies so seamlessly they won’t even notice they did it.

They’ve called everyone

And Dick just keeps getting sicker

imagine that in order to know if someone is an hallucination or not, dick throws something at them if they catch it is really them if it goes through how ever it is an hallucination and everyone just thinks that that is how he just greet people

Oooh that’s fun! I will now ask that everyone reblog this with a weird way dick avoided dealing with the hallucinations

I’ll start

I like to imagine that dick has enough people on direct comm so if he says something in response that doesn’t turn out to be to a real person everyone’s just like. Oh! Dicks on comms.

Even like babs bc I love the non existent beef between the titans and the bats so they are 100% not on the same comm line and babs can’t break cyborgs security so she’s just like “oh look he’s talking to the fucking titans again” and minds her business

And the titans are like “oh he’s dealing with the bats” and leave him be bc they’d rather die than deal with the bats

And Donna from the grave is violently face palming at her idiot and his collection of idiots

I’m about to dox myself but I started reading comics in 2018 bc I had realized teen titans robin my first crush was the same robin as young justice robin my second crush (i then found out that this robin was part of the Batman animated series that i watched in poorly dubbed Arabic at my grandmas thank you spacetoon) so I started looking for fanon content by reading fanfiction and then I found out they had comic books much later and started going “what’s the comic where character did this” and then proceeded to read as much of that until I got bored or find out it was fanon and and then went back to fanfiction until I found something new to hyper fixate on.

Here are some examples

“What was the comic where Jason came back to life”

“What comic did Dick Grayson become nightwing”

“Does dick canonically hate Jason Todd Reddit”

“Comic where Tim plays baseball to save a planet”

“Comic with mirage introduction”

“Comic with tarantula”

“Best comic to start nightwing”

“Is redhood better than nightwing in a fight Reddit”

“Does Artemis crock exist in comics”

“Why is nightwing on every pride cover but he won’t kiss Wally west” (this I didn’t search im just mad about it)

Also thank you Reddit assholes with a need to be hyper specific when arguing these dudes weren’t just naming issues they were like “obviously you didn’t read page 12 of Batman #571 where is states”

Anyway all of this to say there is no correct way to start reading if you only wanna read redhood or new 52 or pre-crisis

If you wanna stick to one character or hop from person to person

Or avoid the bats entirely (good luck it’s impossible they r everywhere unless it’s a female bat)

(Instead of fixing this we should just add Steph into every comic book forever she deserves it)

It’s fine

It’s really not the stressful as long as we all agree that DCs animated content is way better than the live action stuff

Since the comics won’t do it does anyone have proper dick and Kori fics. Not dick and Jay and also star is there. Not outsiders Kori. Not past Kori/dick

Just good old fashion nightstar, robstar, nightfire

Cutesy get back together content? Rekindled passion? The never broke up? Dealers choice but please I’m starved

Kori babs sucks ass (too many redheads)

Donnakori however (correct redhead ratio)

Is majestic