Preventer Agent: Agent Barton Is So Cool. I Saw Him Backflip Off A Moving Car Once.

"Why didn't they just communicate?? They're so stupid!" Have you considered that communicating with someone you love and value and don't want to hurt is scary and that vulnerability takes practice and that perfect characters with perfect words make the most boring stories of all

Wufei: I’m Heero Yuy’s emergency contact.

Nurse: You’re here to pick him up?

Wufei: I’m here to be removed as his emergency contact.

Duo: Why do Bigfoot hunters try to lure him with a mating call? Do they have a game plan for if a sasquatch comes barreling towards them out of the woods full tilt with a raging boner?

Trowa: What the fuck do you think the point of finding Bigfoot is?

Wufei, the unfortunate one on the same comm channel as them, internally:

Trowa: I know a few words in Latin.

Duo: Like what?

Trowa: “Exorcisamus te omnis immundus spiritus and christo.”

Duo: What about “hello”?

Trowa: No.

Wufei: Of course you’d know how to exorcise a demon but not how to say hello.

One very common mistake among beginning writers is to write “Verbing, she verbed” when it would be better to write “She verbed and verbed.”

For instance, take this sentence:

Unlocking the door, she got into the car.

Taken at face value, this sentence tells you that she got into the car even though she was still in the process of unlocking it. That’s impossible. You need to unlock the door first, and only then can you get in the car  Here’s how that sentence should look instead:

She unlocked the door and got in the car.

Somebody said that this is nitpicking. You can see it that way, I suppose. But you can also see it as a choice between writing something else than what you meant to, or simply saying what you mean. And isn’t that choice fairly easy?

infants are so goddamn funny. i was holding my niece today and i just told her “i diagnose you with baby” and she stared at me with the absolute widest eyes like i’d just told her the secret to life itself so i nodded and went “it’s true! you’re just baby” and she stopped for a few seconds, then absolutely YELLED her little head off, very seriously informed me, “ABABABABABAAAAA” and faceplanted into my shoulder, where she promptly began to try to eat my shirt

Unpopular Opinion: Without Quatre the gang wouldn't have been able to function. I know there is a group in the fandom that hates Quatre with a passion, but let's all be real. If he wasn't there I highly doubt Trowa, Duo, Heero, and Wufei could work together. They are all dynamites ready to explode. Quatre was the calm that brought the storm together.

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

this isn’t even an unpopular opinion it’s just the cold hard truth

…you know, except for That One Time…

it’s fine it’s fine no one even liked that colony IT’S FINE

Trowa: I made a remix of Wufei’s “I’m Disappointed” post-mission lecture. Wanna hear it?

Duo: You are my new favorite person. Absolutely, yes.

prompts

compilation of prompts by me, and many others to hopefully inspire you♡

cute/fluff:

“I’ll feel much better if you let me walk you home.”

“I wanted to say “I love you” for the first time without stuttering, but that failed.”

“Apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together.”

“you make me feel alive. for the first time ever, i feel like i can breathe”

“i fucking love you” “hang up, and tell me this when you’re sober”

“i really want to kiss you right now” “do it then”

“Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

“i’ve been falling in love with you since the first day we met”

“Sorry… your hair was in your face… thought I should move it so I could see you better.”

angsty/sad:

“i dont know how to exist in a world without you”

“The worst thing is, that even after all of that, I’m still in love with you.”

“did you at least think of me, when you were having sex with her?”

“no. the moment you saw me as a bet was the moment you fucked up.” 

“If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.”

“i swear, if you say another word, i’ll leave.”

“that ship has sailed. i’ve had my one great love already”

“Would you just shut up and listen to me for two goddamn seconds?!”

“if i asked you to stay, would you?” 

“i don’t know who you are anymore”

“of course i still love you. but i hate myself for it.”

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”

“i can’t have this argument with you again” “but-” “no. i’m done”

filth:

“Seeing you between my legs is so hot.”

“I may or may not have left some….marks.”

“I think we were a little too loud last night.”

“Really? You wanna have sex….here? Now?”

“the noises you make are incredible”

“You’ve been giving me bedroom eyes for the past half an hour - time to show me what, exactly, was on your mind.”

“we’re just…friends.” “friends don’t do this type of shit!”

“she may be all lollipops and candy bars, but I bet behind closed doors she’s hand cuffs and gags.”

“bite your lip once more, i dare you”

“what you gonna do about it, stud”

“I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one will notice.”

“god i love your hands” “lets put them to good use then”

“i know you can be louder than that.”

“come on. i want the neighbours to hear you scream”

“do you like that? like being in control?”

funny/miscellaneous:

“Never trust a man whose smile steals the breath right from your lungs.”

“Did you just slap my ass?” / “Actually, I firmly grasped it.” / “Did you just quote Spongebob?”

“I’m not a damsel in distress. i’m a damsel doing damage.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.”

“where have you been all my life?” “hiding from you”

“shut up with all that soulmate shit”

“I’d punch you, but that’d ruin that pretty little face of yours.”

“sorry, is that supposed to impress me?”

“Maybe you should leave the cooking to me.”

“so it’s a date?” “nope. not a date” 

“it’s because i’m so attractive isn’t it?” “i say this. and i cannot stress this enough. i find you completely repulsive.” 

“alright daddy long legs, next joke please”

credits to some of the accounts whose prompt lists inspired this one: @connorshero, @starman-thorsus-canos-jock, @glitterquadricorn, @calumsendgame, @alloveroliver, @justforshitsandcackles, @whcczes, @hellsdemonictrinity, @poeticparker, @dresupi