Harvssss - Harvss

gay test

keep your slimy toad pores away from me and my children

The only way a bisexual house episode would happen is house makes a weirdly specific and knowledgeable joke about gay sex and Wilson asks if that’s true/how he knows that and house goes “from fucking men”. Wilson’s initial reaction is a bit weird so he spends the rest of the episode trying to show how good of an ally he is by trying to support house’s bisexuality by “checking out” men with house like he would with women but it’s just weird. House wants to see how far Wilson will go with his allyship and it gets to the point where house brings Wilson to a gay strip club, where Wilson is extremely uncomfortable. They get back to house’s place and house finally tells Wilson he’s just fucking with him, Wilson doesn’t need to do all that weird shit, just treat him like he normally does. Wilson actually takes it to heart and asks what kind of men house is into and house answers by describing Wilson exactly. Wilson low key freaks but then he realizes house is fucking with him and he’s like “oh you’re messing with me” and house is like “fucking obviously. I like twinks with big butts, why do you think I hired Chase?” Wilson turns to his drink on the table and laughs, camera shows house looking lovingly at Wilson, end of episode

what the fuck is that i love him

see him schmoove

Captain from Ghosts and his damn idle pose

just started watching house and I thought yall were exaggerating but no. every episode is just like three wrong diagnoses that almost kill the patient and then house is like "he has underwater skunk herpes" and they give the guy a new butthole and he's cured. and then house chugs vicodin while talking about wanting to rail wilson.

"why do I feel so terrible?"

-person who forgot to take their not-feeling-terrible medication

I honestly think House could burst into the cafeteria frantically and march up to Wilson and say, out of breath, "don't ask questions, just kiss me" and then Wilson would go along with it, assuming there's some legitimate reason why that's happening

turns out it's just the only way House could think of to get Wilson to kiss him without doing that yuck "communication" myth