Not Gonna Lie The Picture Would Make A Great Meme

did i hear somebody say  j o h n  m u l a n y ?

One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.

And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”

He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.

yo ima draw this as a cryptid now  y a y

In honor of the first frost of the year, I propose a new winter cryptid: the Snow Crow.

Who sparks those ice crystals along rooftops and cars?  If they’re in a good spot for sledding, it might just be a Snow Crow.

there is absolutely no way that this was done by accident

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS IS WHAT MODOK LOOKS LIKE IN THE NEW ANT MAN MOVIE

the porcupine sounds liek a  p o k e m o n

A porcupine’s Halloween present (+ original sound effects)

third year here. yay

the sauciest

quirked up white boy with a little bit of swag busts it down sexual style.. is he goated with the sauce?

coke can be eternal if you drink your pee after consuming the soda, then repeat the process until you pass away

OH MY GAWD I ALMOST GO DIABETES FROM HOW SWEET TIS WAS MY HEART

Okay but hear me out

Imagine the sides finally go to Disney Land.

Roman is the most excited and is babbling and looking at all the rides and buildings. He’s also in his prince outfit because he’s gotta slay.

He has a fun time meeting as many characters as he can while the others are all split up and doing their thing.

Then, as Roman is walking back to the food shops to meet the others who are waiting there, he feels a tug on his pants. He looks down and there’s this scared little boy looking up at him. Unsure of what else to do, Roman decides to help and kneels to look the boy in the eye.

“Hello, little one.” he greets softly as to not scare the poor thing.

“Can you help me? I can’t find my mama and my mommy.”

Roman softens and nods.

“Of course, child. Do you know where you saw them last?” he asks.

“We just left the Cars ride to go get lunch. I walked ahead and when I turned back they were gone. I tried looking for them but I got lost so I started walking to the food shops.” the boy explains, sniffing again.

Roman smiles.

“I see. Well, don’t worry, my little knight. I’ll help you find them. Would you like to sit on my shoulders so you can have a better chance of seeing them?” he offers, hand out with a flourish.

That gets the boy giggling and he nods, taking Roman’s hand. Roman smiles and helps the boy up. He then carefully stands up and steadies himself, making the boy is safe.

Roman then begins walking around the food shops area, looking around for a couple missing their child. It takes a few moments but the boy then perks up as Roman passes a cafe and a candy shop.

“Mama! Mommy!” he exclaims with a wiggle.

Roman chuckles and sets the boy down. The two women look up then and smile in relief as their little boy runs up to them.

Roman watches them embrace with a soft smile. It felt nice to be good...for once. He then feels a tug on his pant leg and he looks down to see the boy there again.

“Mr. Prince? Can we take a picture with you?” the boy asks.

Roman flusters lightly, looking to the moms.

“I hope you don’t mind. He’s always wanted to meet a prince. He loves them.” the mama explains.

“Honey, we shouldn’t pressure him if he doesn’t want to do it. We also wanted to thank you for finding our little boy.” the mommy adds softly.

Roman is about to say no and tell them he doesn’t work here but the hopeful look in the kid’s eyes makes it hard to. Well...one picture can’t hurt, right?

“Okay, little one. Just a few pictures.” he says, smiling softly at the kid.

The kid cheers at that and moves to stand by Roman who kneels down by the kid.

“You’re my hero, prince charming.” is what Roman hears just as the cameras go off.

It makes Roman fluster and smile wider, a warm feeling he hadn’t felt in years returning. He was someone’s hero again. He was A hero. Him!

A few more pictures are taken before the kid leaves with his parents, babbling about the brave prince.

Roman smiles to himself and continues his way back to the food shop meeting point.

The sides notice his grin.

“You look happy. Having fun so far?” Virgil asks with a small smile.

Roman thinks about what just happened and nods.

“Yeah.”

tbh i thought Patton was suddenly being seductive for some reason

No thoughts only this moment

yes

Proposition- humans are deathworlders but the universe sees us as REALLY CUTE deathworlders that will pack bond with anything. Glarbthom commander of all space evil tries to take over earth and just goes aw fuck they're like Tribbles they make cute sounds when they're happy and excited or pleased with themselves and they like to make their hair funny colours and collect weird rocks that look like things; their laugh noise is cute. Their sneezes are amusing and they packbond with everything it's adorable! How can they live on such a wild and horribly terrible planet and be cute?! They come in multiple colours and degrees of thinness and roundness! Some have different eye colours! Some came with different teeth shapes! Some cats have splotches! Some come with spots! And yet they don't freeze unless it's below freezing!!