hyodojo

Latest Posts by hyodojo

(violently jerking the steering wheel) my car swerves like crazy when i do this

Sketches

:O

Sketchy

Sketches

solo jazz suicune

Outfits on the left inspired from Pinterest

Love drawing me some torsos

I too, was inspired by Julia’s drawings

More

"oc dump?" "oc dump."

They all part of a larger story

The start of my headcanon for Jim and La'an to be together

Them

me, incorrect: everyone is probably sick of me drawing this character by now...

my inner voice, wise: ah, but this cannot be... because I am part of "everyone"... and until I am sick of drawing them... it will not be everyone

me, opening a new blank canvas: ur so right

It’s 1am I don’t need to explain myself

fell asleep while writing and

when im listening to my own library and playlists i feel like a powerful wizard but when im trying to show my music taste to anyone it feels like i have a shame cone on

- Draco scrubs the skin on his arm viciously every time he showers. The skin is always red and marked by scratches. He tries so hard to get the mark off of him. He wants to feel clean again. - George can’t look in the mirror anymore. Not without remembering Fred. He smashes all mirrors in their home. He cuts his hair, he dyes it. - Neville sees Nagini in his dreams. But in his dreams it reaches Ron and Hermione before he does. - Harry has multiple wands all around his house hidden in places that only he knows. Beneath his pillow, beneath his bed, under the couch. Just in case. - Hermione’s boggart is no longer failure. - Draco and Blaise are afraid of fire. - Someone accidentally calls George “Fred” once. No one knows who starts crying first. - Headmistress Miverna Mcgonagall is fierce, powerful and kind. All first years are intimidated and amazed, she seems untouchable. However some nights she roams the school hallways and remembers every student she lost, every life that got taken away too soon, every soul that left them too early. - Harry suddenly can’t stay in very small rooms. He feels trapped, his throat starts convulsing and his eyes sting. - Hagrid still feels the weight of what he thought was Harry’s corpse in his hands. It haunts him. - Hermione, Ron and Harry had gotten so used to spending months having one small meal per day that sometimes they forget they’re supposed to eat. - Harry rolls in his sleep once and hits his forehead against the night stand on accident, when he wakes up with pain on his forehead his heart sinks and his whole body freezes. It isn’t until he sees the bruise that he’s able to calm down. Because Voldemort isn’t back. - Ron dreams that he’s back in their tent, traveling and hiding, he’s changing the radio stations and he hears Ginny’s names as one of the victims. - Molly always has “where’s Fred?” on the tip of her tongue, at all times. - Harry spends the year post-war discovering who he is, what he loves, other than the Boy-who-lived and the Savior-of-the-Wizarding-World. Because there are things he never had time to think about, never had time to experiment, never had time to experience. Sometimes he wonders if coming back had been the right choice, because it hurt so bad on some days that he couldn’t take it. - When Teddy is sad or scared and he’s crying, Harry tells him stories and shows him pictures of his parents, it’s then and only then that he calms down and his hair goes back to normal. - Harry pulls back to himself when the date of his death nears every year, his friends do everything in their power to bring him out of it. - Draco and Harry have talks about the war some nights, both saw what Voldemort was capable of, Harry in his dreams, Draco in his home. Both understand. - Luna is quirkier and weirder than ever before. She always does everything in her power to lighten up the mood in the room when the silence is bitter and mournful. It’s like she can’t stop shifting and smiling and nervously twitching and saying random facts about things no one has heard of before. Everyone knows it’s her way of coping, of staying positive. So no one minds. It’s comforting. - Harry gets the sudden desire to travel all over the world. Sometimes Ron and Hermione come with him, others he goes alone, once Neville joins him. Draco does too. - Draco starts writing, he writes thousands of words on some nights and none on others. He’s good at it, too. - Harry always, without fail, looks for Sirius’ constellation. He visits his grave too, tells him how things are going in his life, how he’s coping, how he isn’t. - Hermione getting a tattoo of blooming pastel flowers on top of her “mudblood” scar, because she’s alive, many her friends are alive and she wants to remember that.

And maybe not all is well, maybe they have scars time cannot erase, but they’re together, their hearts are still beating, so it’ll be okay. They’re going to be okay.

Just some warmups turned a bit more

have you ever stayed up late with someone texting or chatting and known as the hours ticked by that you’d be ridiculously tired in the morning but it didnt matter because it was really fun and totally worth losing sleep over just to laugh with someone and enjoy their company maybe and then the next day you keep tiredly recalling how much fun it was

love really is cooking. cooking for and with your friends is an act of love. cooking for and with your partner is an act of love. cooking for YOURSELF is especially an act of love. the care, the tenderness, and affection??? to nourish not only yourself but the ones you love??? those moments you spend??? god its just love thats all i can say

anyone else remember being like 13 years old and watching that scene in how to train your dragon (2010) where hiccup carefully navigates the maze of lines toothless has drawn between them without breaking or stepping on any of them and with his back to toothless and eyes shut to demonstrate how he’s willing to put total faith in him not to harm him or run away and to show humility and a desire to establish a natural bond of mutual trust instead of the arrogance to try to force toothless to submit to his will and hearing the music crescendo and fade into silence as he finally crosses the last obstacle so that they’re standing mere inches from one another, tension built on years of bad blood between their two races, so immense it’s almost like a physical barrier, separating them, and after what feels like forever toothless presses his nose gently into hiccup’s outstretched palm and it fits perfectly like it was made solely for that specific purpose, and feeling all the hairs on your neck stand up and a stifling sensation that brought actual tears to your eyes rise in your throat as it touched something profound and full of unspeakable yearning inside you

bears have absolutely no right to be as cute as they are. i want to hug them and pet them. big fluffy dogs, supersized

Can old men stop flirting with teenage girls like go have a heart attack Please

the switch from ‘a girl worth fighting for’ to coming upon the decimated village in mulan is THE MOST kick-in-the-teeth mood change IN ALL OF CINEMA

I Might Have Found A Discrepancy In The Shrek Universe.

So you know how in Shrek 2 during the most amazing cover of all time Mongo was born?

Yeah. Well, I was curious to see how long it would take to actually bake, cool, decorate, and make alive a Mongo in real life. Would Shrek and Gingy have enough time to save Fiona from Prince Charming and the Fairy Godmother with Mongo at their side?

Here’s how I figured it out.

So Shrek is originally seven feet tall.

But when he takes the Happily Ever After potion, he shrinks a bit. Let’s say… a foot. Shrek is now six feet tall. That’s a good, measurable number. I drew it out in proportion to Mongo here:

So from his shoulder to his mouth, Mongo is about six feet (I added a bit extra here because Shrek is bent over a little because giant gingerbread monster footsteps can be jarring and you need to brace your body for impact). Now, I couldn’t find a full body picture or character model of Mongo, but I could find one of Gingy. They do have the same proportions.

Here’s the model I used. He’s a bit bent, but I made do. Using MS Paint again, I measured about six feet on this model if it were Mongo sized.

Now using the line tool, I measured the space between the two lines and made new lines according to where the space ended. Here’s the final result:

So this is about 12 lines worth of space. The top of his head didn’t make it another six feet, so let’s say it’s three feet. Plug 12.5 and 6 into the calculator in and…

Mongo is 75 feet tall. Add that to your fan wikis.

Now let’s look at Gingy’s size. We need to know how many Gingies make a Mongo. Looking at the picture again, Gingy is a little smaller than Shrek’s head.

So if we look up the size of the average head, we get…

About nine inches. Let’s just say nine. Nine inches is 0.75 feet.

It takes 100 Gingies to make one Mongo. Assuming Gingy is the same size as an average gingerbread man that Muffin Man makes, let’s assume further and say he’s an average gingerbread man.

I found this snip from this recipe by the Food Network. Since Gingy is nine inches tall, we need to tweak this a bit.

If my calculations are correct and I’m not a fool, each batch makes four cookies. We would need 25 batches to make a Mongo. That’s 75 cups flour, 25 teaspoons baking soda, 18 ¾ teaspoons ground cinnamon and ground ginger, 12 ½ teaspoons ground allspice, ground cloves, and salt, 6 ¼ teaspoon milled black pepper (for whatever reason), 25 sticks of butter, 6 ¼ cups of room temperature vegetable shortening, 12 ½ cups packed light brown sugar, 16 2/3 cups of molasses, and 25 large eggs! Jesus, now the Muffin Man’s in crippling debt. And that’s just the cookie part!

Assuming this humble, gentle soul makes his own icing, he would need 25 pounds of confectioners’ sugar, 50 tablespoons of dried egg-white powder he would have to dry himself, and 150 tablespoons of water. I feel so sorry for this man.

Not to mention, Far Far Away can’t possibly sell gumdrops that big, so he’d have to melt them down, build a giant bowl of some sort, wait for them to solidify, take them out as to not damage them, and sprinkle sugar on them before animating his giant, expensive monster.

The melting point of gumdrops, I could not find. But I assume they have a slightly higher melting point than, say syrup sap. And it might also stick horrifically to any pan. So we need an open flame, like a bonfire, and we need it hot enough to melt the gumdrops inside of a big enough bowl. Something like pictured here from Little House In The Big Woods:

So we would need one or two of these set up. Thankfully, our boy Muffin Man lives in a place with quite a few trees. 

They are a little ways off, though. Chopping one down, getting chains to propel the pot up, and starting a dangerously hot fire as well as stirring quite close to it would take for ever. And melting that many gumdrops would take forever. So would cooling them.

Now onto the actual bake time. Shrek does take place in what I presume to be Midevil Germany, judging by the architecture, clothing, and art style in the books. Though it has many modern conveniences, such as fast food and concert lighting/sound systems.

So I assume that even a somewhat seemingly poor/lower middle class single baker dude can afford a good oven. Let’s say this type of oven.

Now this is a pretty small oven. How could Muffins possibly create a 75-foot gingerbread man with this small of an oven? It’s impossible. He would have to bake him piece by piece, then somehow paste him all together. And he wouldn’t see a single penny of his back breaking work! Shrek never paid him, and Mongo ended up a soggy mess in the bottom of a river anyway, so all of that time, energy, money, work was all for nothing!

And no, I’m not acknowledging Shrek The 3rd.

Anyway suppose he did paste Mongo piece by piece. How long would it take for him to bake each piece? Let’s look at his model again.

Splitting up the model into head, upper torso, mid torso, left and right arm/hand/leg/shin/foot, and lower torso, we get something like this:

These can sit in the oven more easily. If we break it in half it would be easier.

There we go. If we make twice the amount of icing we need, then we can paste him back together, like Humpty Dumpty.

Wait…

It’s almost as if Dreamworks wanted someone to do this. Huh.

Anyway, going back to the Food Network recipe. How long does it take for a Mongo to cook? According to the article, it’s about ten minutes. So let’s just say ten minutes. Multiply that by 25, you’ve got 250 minutes in the oven, or a little over four hours to bake an entire Mongo.

It takes 5 minutes to cool a batch. so that’s 150 minutes, or a little over two hours. That’s six hours to bake and cool a Mongo.

So about saving Fiona…

It’s not happening. An oven like the one Muffins has cannot be hot enough to bake it and make it cook enough to not burn nor be raw in enough time to still get to the castle and save Fiona. Especially after mixing each batch, making the giant gumdrops, icing gluing, giving life, baking time, and cooling time. Just by estimating, mixing all that stuff together could take, like, an hour at the most. Plus the gumdrop issue; I wouldn’t be surprised if it took two and a half hours. Don’t forget giving Mongo life. I would expect another two and a half hours since an electric spark of Mary Shelly proportions can be made in a somewhat modern home with the right equipment, but Muffins probably has to make/go out to get the right equipment. (That’s how I remember Mongo being alive correct me if I’m wrong).

Add all of that up, and that’s 12 hours.

TWELVE HOURS.

That’s over 202 times of playing Shrek’s cover of “I Need A Hero.” That’s like playing Shrek 2 in full over eight times. Basically, Fiona is doomed and Shrek should have used a carriage ordering service.

TLDR; Shrek 2 is impossible and Mongo takes a lot of time and effort to make.

This is such a classic tumblr post chain

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed