Riddler Has A Twitter Account Set Up So If He Dies, It Spills All The Secrets Of People He’s Pissed

You know, I did NOT need to be called out this hard

I was talkin to this guy who also had the same idea as me to hide in a dumpster, and we talked about our “villain origins” and I said I just did it for the chaos.

Then he says, OUT OF LEFT FEILD, “do you do it for the chaos, or are you angry at the world for beating you down when you couldn’t perfectly fit into the system, and so you target people and corporations that are enforcers of said system.”

Like DAMN if I wanted advice from a criminal I’d go to riddlers tumbler

Hey, so, if you guys would like to know what school in Gotham is like, feel free to ask! It’s…. Interesting, to say the least

So, here’s a fun fact.

Riddler will go out of his way to avoid fucking up the school. Hell, he’s ENCOURAGED us to go to school. So it’s really funny when another villain makes us miss school, because he gets really mad. And its always the new people that do it to. I don’t know if I’m making much sense, so here’s what my classmate heard when they got kidnapped:

“Who you got?”

“Some school boy, I don’t know. He’s dressed all nice like, so his parents are probably rich.”

“Nice knowing you.”

“What?”

“Your making this kid miss class.”

“So?”

*Gunshots*

“Ah, that’d be Riddler.”

Our favorite green question mark was really ready to get in a fist fight with GOD over the disruption of this child’s education.

GIRLS GAYS AND NON BINARY BAES

I SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP

So I was walking with my backpack full of the days loot right, and overall very profitable day, decided to treat myself and keep a bracelet, average night right?

And so I’m making my way home, and I hear some punk getting mugged in an alleyway, he calls out to me for help, and I’m like “aw shit I can’t just leave him” so I get in a tussle with the mugger, I’ve got him against the wall, I’m about to give him a good pop to knock him out, buy the both of us time to get away, when I see it

Fucking RED HOOD, DROPS FROM THE ROOF AND LANDS LIKE ITS NOTHING, mind you that was probably a fifteen foot drop AT LEAST, looks at the guy, looks at the guy that was getting mugged, looks at me, and asks which one of our asses he has to kick.

Remember, I have and ENTIRE BACKPACK full of stolen stuff, and now I’ve got a guy up against a wall. I release him, put my hands up, and back away slowly, and as soon as the guy getting robbed starts talking, I fucking booked it

Like HELL I was sticking around, I’m not too fond of the idea of prison

But that’s not the worst part

No, the worst part is I just found a note saying “dear corvid, thanks for the help”

The bats know who I am now. More importantly, THEY KNOW WHERE I LIVE

I’m so glad to see I’m not the only one!

officially diagnosed with bed too cozy disease

Don’t even THINK about flirting with me if your not willing to lie to the cops and break me out of jail. Not bail, like some wimp. BREAK.

✨that’s the point✨ but in the meantime I get free shit from gcpd cars and get stabbed once a week (Gotham central hospital night staff know me by name) and he gets to NOT deal with Batman. Seriously how has your grandpa NOT gotten the hell beaten out of him by lord emo yet?

Hey, @gothamradiokid could you tell you grandpa to CHILL THE FUCK OUT. I got woken up, at three in the GOD DAMN MORNING because MY NEIGHBOR FUCKED UP, AND HE SENT SOMEONE TO DEAL WITH IT. Tell him to do that at midday or some shit, some of us are sheltering highly reactive new mama dogs, and need at least 30 minutes of sleep.

HELP, WHATS THE NAME OF THAT ONE SONG, I THINK IT’S IN RUSSIAN, AN ANIMATOR MADE AN ANIMATIONMEME WITH IT ABOUT AN OWL DUDE THATS THE GOD OF BURIAL, I CANT REMEMBER THE NAME OF THE SONG

When god closes a door I shove my sword through the gap at the bottom and swipe at his ankles

This could save lives so I thought I’d share!