Mr Harrington At Decathlon: You’re All Wonderful People So I Don’t Think Any Of You Have Ever Broken

Avengers play Cards Against Humanity

Since the last one was well received here's part two

Black Card: You know who else liked ______? Hitler.

Loki: Eradicating the jews

Steve: Mass Genocide

Peter: Veganism

Hope: Nazis

Scott: Bees

Natasha: White privilege

Clint: Chunks of dead backpacker

Harley: Daniel Radcliffe's delectable arsehole

Shuri: Praying the gay away

T'challa: Restoring Germany to it's former glory

Tony: A reason not to commit suicide

Bruce: Auschwitz

Sam: God

Bucky: Poorly timed holocaust jokes

Pepper: Seeing things from Hitler's perspective

Rhodey: Suicidal thoughts

Thor: Vikings

Wanda: It's hard to decide... "You know who else liked veganism? Hitler" is my favourite. Peter wins.

Do you guys want to chose the winners? And yes, there are going to be more of these cards against humanity. Send me other people you want to play too.

Loki: Mental illnesses are like Pokémon cards.

Thor: In what way?

Loki: I collect them for fun.

Alternatively

Loki (female): I like men how I like emotions

Thor:...how?

Loki: Buried

Thor: Pretty sure that’s called murder. It’s illegal

Loki: Only if they find the bodies

Loki (currently female): I like my men how I like my emotions

Thor: ...how?

Loki with a grin: Buried deep inside me

Thor: *sighs* I really should have seen that coming

Clint: Sorry I took so long, I broke down on the way here.

Natasha: Oh, is your car okay?

Clint: Car?

Natasha:

Clint:

Loki: I’m like a candle.

Thor: In what way?

Loki: I’ll burn your house down if you leave me alone.

Thor: Again, that’s called arson. It’s illegal.

I’m crying. I have a personal name for this ship. Fe3. If you don’t get it you’re uneducated.

morgan is smart. pepper/tony/rhodey ot3 🥰🥰🥰

Responding to a kidnapping attempt part 1:

Tony:

Peter:

Bruce:

Natasha:

Clint:

Thor:

Steve:

Bucky:

Sam:

Loki:

Peter: MJ is so cute. *sigh*

Ned: ...She just...stabbed Flash for bullying you...

Peter: I said cute not harmless.

MJ: You do know I can hear you?

Peter:

Ned:

MJ: Thanks Loser

TW: Dark humor.(?)

I can't stop thinking about Tony and Peter casually joking about death and shocking everyone around them like us Gen z's do with our friends.

~~~~~

Peter: I hope the light at the end of my tunnel is a fucking train.

~~~~~

Tony: I used to be a playboy but now all I want on top of me is 6ft of dirt.

~~~~~

Random bad guy: I'll snap your neck

Peter: I'll let you

~~~~~

Tony: I swear to God I'm gonna start a hit list.

Peter: I volunteer

~~~~~

Kidnapper: *hands them a gun* One of you has to die.

Tony: I will

Peter: No let me do it

Tony: Get behind me I'll shoot both of us

~~~~~

Robber: *Aiming a gun at Peter but hesitating to shoot him*

Peter: Would you like me to pull the trigger?

~~~~~

Bad guy: I'll kill you.

Peter: I'll fucking do it for you.

~~~~~

Tony: Don't come Heimlich me if I start choking cause that's my ticket out of here and if you save me then your fake and just want what you can't have.

~~~~~

Tony: *staring at a vase of dead flowers*

Peter: lol you wish that was you huh?