nova-rose-greene

Latest Posts by nova-rose-greene

It's my 5 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

Wow! Happy Birthday nova

You shined so bright.

And fizzled

When I met the truest form of myself

Love you

Sunflower B Rose

Malaika Holmén by Sølve Sundsbø for Vogue Scandinavia ,October 2021

I’ve been working with the Bearded Ladies Cabaret for the last two months and it’s allowed me to re-come out. Or just accept that I’m accepted everywhere I go. And the people who see me see me, and love me .

I threw an Open House Art Auction! There’s more to come

A new set of scans came in.

That bitch Barbie has set a tone for me that I haven’t allowed myself to access in awhile. To embrace and evoke the power within me to exude out. I see this divine energy in those around me. I wonder if they feel it oozing in them the way it does me. I wonder if they feel it coming out their pore in the way I see it .

I am a non binary black woman

I am a Black Femme

I am a spirit

I am a reflection of my creator

Gender performance is an expression

How we display our gender is based on our understanding of who we are.

How we perform our expression of self with the vessel were given is up to us.

I am spirit and spirit is not gendered

Man is.

Gender is a man made construct.

So if I am spirit like my creator, my reflection and expression of my spirit is based in what?

A choice

Who I was taught to be was a black femme.

How I was conditioned to perform and how I intuitively express

Is as a black femme

Who I reflect is who I was made in the image of

Generations of creators passing their image

Their expressions

Their reactions

Their performances

To me

The reflections of the range and depth of black femme, will forever continue to influence the shape of the world I be in.

It’s this lens that morphs my understanding of myself and my selfs expression.

With the understanding and encouragement

To continue to push and morph the lens

Break it if needed

And thus continuing to expand and experiment

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.

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And lastly

If gender is a construct anyway and language can be mailable. then why not find the right words to best express for the present and future understandings of self. Facts can be temporary as the present state of a matter or idea are applicable in the present. But as time moves forward, the present does too. And previous facts only remain facts in context of their historical stand point.

Express for the present

Change your expression with your understanding.

If you’d like .

I am a caterpillar who cocoons every other season.

Sure I change

Sure I transform

But never just once

She

They

Ze

Bri

Nova

Greene

Gause

omg

Jesus

I just want to be who you called me to be

Speak to those who you need to hear just from me

I have a purpose and a calling and I move from person to person

From moment to moment

Picking up what I can and need so I can help someone else in need

I made this account when I came out to myself.

I choose my name.

I found post that matched my style.

I’ve grown more and more into accepting myself

loving myself.

I haven’t had this app on my phone for a maybe a year now. But I think it’s worth revisiting.

I want to share what I experience

And craft my thoughts into tangible resources and references

So thanks Tumblr for helping me find myself.

Happy 3rd Birthday to me

source

If this is what God calls today

I can’t wait to see tomorrow

“The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.” - Thich Nhat Hanh

Hasan Minhaj testifies before Congress on the student loan crisis

I miss the First Family [x]

Damaris Goddrie by Walter Perre for Vogue Netherlands - September 2019

I woke up like this

Today I woke up to such a strange feeling

I think it was love.

I woke up wanting to sing and I didn’t stop myself

I woke up wanting to kiss every inch of my body because I was overwhelmed with how much I appreciated it keeping me safe

How it’s kept me going

I kissed my gently crafted skin because it’s one of a kind

It was made just for me and it’ll stay just mine

How special is that

That this body was made for me by someone who loved me and wanted me to love it too

And I do

So I kissed my skin again and again

Thanking God for making it

Making me

Deeming me worthy to even wake up THIS morning.

For giving me the chance to use my being to do something Good today.

For filling me with this peace and gratitude for existence that I had been asking for.

This was no mere coincidence waking up this way

This was an answered prayer

I still haven’t left my bed

Wanting to float in this feeling

Not wanting to disturb the serenity that this moment of time has provided .

God I don’t know what I’ve done different.

But thank you

I’m excited to share this with someone

I know my smile to be contagious

And today’s glow,

I hope

better spread like a wild fire.

This is what it looks like when your surrounded by love but don’t know how to feel it

A brown skinned girl

I made my Animoji the other day

And I felt satisfied

seeing myself winking a buldgy bubbly wink

But it wasn’t until my friend

This man

Judged me for the way I made her look

“Whaaa? Why the frick does it look like this? Are you trying to be darker?”

I sink in my seat

“You wanna sing brown skin girl so bad. Do you wanna be darker?”

I can’t respond.

“It’s okay, I wanna be darker too.”

But that’s not what I said.

That’s not how I felt.

It took me awhile to embrace the skin that I was in.

In 1st grade I asked my teacher how to spell Carmel, chocolate, and butterscotch

I wanted to know all my delectable choices

I wanted to find the sweet spot that described me just right.

Rich and full of healthy coco goodness.

But as I grew people assumed I was mixed.

Milk + chocolate.

Maybe cookies and cream.

I was definitely called an Oreo, and at the time it made sense.

But I am mixed with my mom and my dad.

Dark Chocolate

And butterscotch.

And rich combination.

I thought I was cute because other people found my skin and curls desirable.

But they didn’t find me desirable just my lightly coated exterior.

One summer I was working hard and someone spotted me from not to far and they said ,

“Briana is that you? Damn you got crispy! I didn’t even recognize you.”

I was hurt.

I got use to the comfort I found in the hungry eyes of others.

But only when i was looked at as a delectable 9/12 months of the year.

In the summer I baked, and it shifted the way I was received.

I moved One summer, and was told that I couldn’t claim the end of the spectrum I thought I belonged on.

“You can’t be light skin. This dude is light skin. Your brown”

I said

it’s summer.

I’m tan.

it’ll fade.

Itll... fade....

My desirability will grow when my tan fades

Don’t worry

I might be a little over done now, but find me on display in the winter, you’ll see I’ll be just right for the picking.

How awful did that self loathing taste.

It took another mans validation for me to embrace my tan.

“Your not crispy, your glowing”

Your right I am

For the first time I got sum burned,

But that nap under the sun was truly worth it,

Because all the light I absorbed in that day,

I exuded over the rest of the summer.

Even though it hurt, I was walking in a skin that felt just right .

I realized that I could also be desirable in all my shades all year round.

But then in a summer of transformation, I started to feel Green.

I danced till my spirit moved,

I leaped, and twirled around the magnetic power that held me together.

Truly I was green until the mirror reminded me otherwise.

Truly I was the air,

Breathing with the sky.

I was so much more then a shade,

I was the light.

I got comfortable with me.

I validated my self , with the pleasure of existences.

The summer I turned green I couldn’t tell you what the rest of the world saw me as, nor did I care.

I WAS FREAKING GREEN!

But I recently stopped dancing.

I recently overfilled myself with things of the world and I’ve lost touch with the colors of my spirit.

So to hear,

“You wanna be brown skin so bad.. “

Felt so uncomfortable.

I have brown skin.

The world will call me black,

And I know that inside I’m green.

But my skin is literally brown.

Regardless what shade my brown takes at this point in time... it’s still brown.

It’s still just skin.

But honestly it just made me want to find myself back to the summer where I discovered I was Greene.

I wanna keep losing myself in the vibrations of the earth.

I wanna know what’s shade I’m in now, tomorrow, and the infinity of beyond.

Is it green?

or have I shifted to a saturated burgandy?

I wonder if I’ve got polka dots hidden under my layers of rich rich red.

There’s only one way to find out.

Time to deep dive out of the pools of others desires of and into the ocean of divinity that’s contained by this ever shifting brown skin.

I dream about being a mom more then anything else

I’ve dreamed about my family more then my career my house, my card, the dog.

I’ve dreamed of copious amounts of children

And excited that I was their mom

All just bursting with excitement when I hugs them kissed them

I want to be the one they run to when they cry

I want to tell them it’s okay to cry and understand how to make it better

I want to be the one they call mom

I want to be their provider

Their confidant

I want years down the road for them to call and apologize for yelling me when they were 13 because now they see that I’m right

I want to create children who know how to love

Who love themselves

Who can feel so empowered to change the world.

I want to be a mother to change

I want to be a mother to droppings of love

I want to kiss baby toes

I want to cry at evey graduation and wedding

I want to cheer them on at games

And edit papers

I want to be a mother so bad

But who am I now

And who will I be for them to be proud of

Who will I be before I can be in a position to be a mother

And who’s the father???

Who’s dad because he’s just as important in this scenario

But back to the point

I want to be a mom more then anything

Can’t tell me this ain’t love

There are 7 billion people on the planet and not one of them thought they should reach out for me

My life’s mission is to ensure that dreams of others around me are fulfilled.

I want to help as many people as I can

I want to love so hard because I don’t want anyone to feel as unspported as I do.

They say what goes around comes around

Treat others the way you want to be treated

Love thy neighbor as they self

Lead by Example

I’ve strived to be the best friend , neighbor, partner, person that a person could exist next to

I’ve crafted scenarios for people to gather and be happy around me

But have failed to have people want to gather with me

I’ve failed at being invited

I’ve failed myself

I’ve stayed in relationships way longer then I needed to

Or wanted to

Because I didn’t want to be alone

I stayed with an abusive man and tried to make myself what he wanted just so I could be the girl who he wanted to love.

I just wanted some to think I was deserving of love

I’ve crafted parties to invite people over in hopes that theyd like me.

They enjoyed themselves and then continued to ignore me day after day.

My parties came and went and no one but me remembered what we did

No one but me cared

No one but me ever remembered my birthdays

When I’m sad I send a text looking for a conversation

But It’s hard for people to hold on to them with me

Or it seems like it’s hard for others to check on me before months have flown by

Yes, I’m the friend who always calls first.

My own grandparents don’t even call to check on me

Ive exhausted myself reaching out to others being the only one to maintain relationships.

Ive said I’m only gonna interact with people who care to interact with me

And then I grow even darker when the truth settles in and it’s just me and Jesus sitting in a room staring at each other.

JC is great don’t get me wrong

He’s the only reason I even know what love is

He’s the reason I keep giving day after day

Sometimes I think I’ll get real friends when I’m older

I’ll have built my empire up and then when I’m exactly where I’m suppose to be at the exact moment I’m suppose to be there, I’ll look around at all the like minded people I’ve loved and who have loved me sitting around a table and I’ll be grateful.

Greatful that there were real friends for me I just had to be patient to find them.

But it’s sad to think that that day isn’t today and the chances of it being tomorrow aren’t any brighter

Maybe next week

Maybe next year

Maybe when I move states, Change my name, shave my head and morph into the Person who people want to be friends with.

Real friends.

Friends who think of you and just send you a message.

A gif

A tag in an article.

A friend who just lets you know they love you.

Until then I’ll keep trying to be that friend.

I’ll keep putting that energy and that love out there

And I’ll do my best to graciously wait for it to return.

My favorite couple

Today,

I found my bathroom to be particularly interesting.

Why don’t we take photos with curiosity anymore.

Well

Why don’t I take curious photos anymore

?

Ari Lennox fine as hell

I miss me

It’s been a long job.

I’m getting calls because my friends and family have forgotten that a few weeks ago I told them how busy and broke I’d be.

And even though they understood my missing presence, I must be leaving a larger hole than expected.

While I’ve been off learning,

I’ve also been missing me.

My routines have been broken and forgotten

My learned habits have become memories

And my forgotten habits feel like new toys in a goodwill window

Reminding me how nice they were and yet I have to remind myself why I gave them up in the first place.

The job is almost over and I’ll be emerging a new person.

Worn and in need of rest

In need of an uplift

A cry

And then another blast of energy to keep me going.

I miss me

But I’m never the same

Day after day

I keep growing

And I need to learn how to take care of me

Day after day

Learn my needs for each day and work with them

Care for them

I need to learn to hear myself more then anyone else

Universe

Blooming Different

Artist - Eva Kosmos

Sunflowers, 2019

•stardust•