Carmilla Visits Me Tonight

okay so armand was torturing daniel in that room for several days. and he'd already lost a lot of blood AND had taken a lot of drugs AND was injured. this to me means that in order to keep daniel somewhat lucid armand probably gave him food/water at some point.

i know we can say that armand gave him vampire blood and this would reset some of these factors. however, consider that (a) armand seems very resistant to share his blood with humans generally and daniel specifically (b) it scratches a different itch to imagine armand had to, like, order pizza or go down to a corner store or put coins into a vending machine. then come back and try to feed daniel a snickers bar and a pepsi. to keep the torture going,

*ao3 taking too long to load*

*sighs*

*opens tumblr*

Do you guys ever think about the fact Armand never got to have a normal life EVER? Everyone else did, to some degree. They grew up, they had jobs, they had families. Armand was enslaved from the time he could form memories. And how he likely sees himself in Daniel, another young man so frightened and involved in sex work in some ways? How the ONLY thing he wanted was for Daniel to live the normal, mortal life he never did and never can. And how Daniel hates him for denying him it? How Armand knows he is the reason Daniel would be throwing away his normal, mortal life. How perhaps he wouldn't be so different from his own maker, watching Daniel please others for him and eventually stealing his life. And how Daniel cannot understand why Armand doesn't love him enough to want him to stay forever, how he could just doom Daniel to becoming old and weak before dying

Crying, crying, crying at how you can get this line in Disco Elysium if you convince the lieutenant to eat the sandwich.

A lot of people have seen this exchange:

Fewer people have seen this option appear:

And if you choose it?

Goodbye. I love them so much.

I think there’s two reasons Daniel in 1973 had such a strong reaction regarding Louis’s view of vampirism and his story (aside from being a twenty year old know it all). One was that he identified with Claudia more—and saw the part where Louis left off at in the story as hopeful, and two he connected vampirism in Louis’ story with the ability to express queerness and be safe.

For the Claudia thing—they just had more in common at that point. Daniel gets choosing to explore and look for knowledge—he does not read as someone who’s really been in love before at twenty—at least not with a “handsome devil” and he’s not a parent. It’s also likely that after only two years out of high school Louis being “declared dead” by his family wouldn’t hit as hard.

When identifying more with Claudia at that point in the story—there’s much more hope there than identifying with Louis. I especially think Claudia going to Europe to find vampires and answers would have appealed to him. I wouldn’t be surprised if “get off the bench” meant “go with her.”

She’s getting answers! Exploring! Leaving her awful maker! Plus as far as Daniel knows Louis could be using past tense because they never made up or reunited or because she passed away—and even if she did die she might have achieved her curiosity seeking dreams so—worth it maybe! At least to Daniel! Vampirism is less inherently tragic at this point than after the trial. It’s hopeful not hopeless.

On the other side there’s also Daniel, a young queer person in 1973, who only feels safe acting queer and participating in queerness with drugs as a barrier—an excuse—meeting Louis with the beautiful long term boyfriend, and the one night stands in apartments, and the ex he’s still hung up on—comfortable and safe because he’s a vampire.

What Daniel got out of his story, the meaning he didn’t think Louis saw was life, life, and more life. Plus safety to live as you want to live. Louis breaches social norms along side becoming a vampire. He creates his mixed queer family post-vampire turning. The vampirism and the non-conformity seem linked.

He’s also so comfortable bringing boys back—even asking his boyfriend if he wants to join in! The countercultural, the ability to have, messy, yes, but also many queer relationships! Starting in 1910’s New Orleans with vampirism!

Louis ended the story with Claudia hopeful and leaving on the train—the worst part was his ex—and abusive exes are present in human lives too! You can recover! Get off the bench! The central tragedy haunting Louis narrative wasn’t explained to Daniel by that point.

Daniel saw Louis living like a mortal except for the safety to be himself in it and that’s why he wanted it!!! To be able to hide and the ability to kill any mortal who might object to you doing what you want to do!!! No need to hide behind substances to be yourself!!! Vampirism as life but more, but better!!!

Sadie & Abigail

(’Photo mode is all about capturing pictures your favorite ships’, part 1)

learning the backstories of any of your female relatives always amounts to taking 500 points of psychological damage and wondering if the world is irredeemably evil

At your divine mercy

every-time i rewatch the hannibal pilot im reminded of how much of an asshole will graham is and how it’s so funny that hannibal eat-the-rude lector did not immediately soufflé his ass. instead he developed a crush and had no choice but to wage psychological warfare on him.

this is how this scene went right