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Narcissa: What is that smell?
Draco: That would be fresh air.
Narcissa: Well, that has GOT to go! [starts spraying air freshener]
Slam that reblog button if you’re a book person with boundless knowledge absorbed from having words instead of friends
Sirius: For your information, most people that meet me don't know that I'm gay.
Lily: Blind and deaf people know you're gay.
James: Dead people know you're gay.
Marvel: Infinity War is the most ambitious crossover events in history
Me:
Like if it isn’t
reasons to read the gentleman’s guide to vice and virtue:
it’s the queer historical road trip novel you never realised you needed
the friends-to-lovers trope! the sharing-a-bed trope!! the mutual pining trope!!! the everyone-knows-their-feelings-are-reciprocated-except-for-them trope!!!!
basically monty and percy are the cutest and i can 100% guarantee they’re going to be everyone’s new otp
a super smart, no-nonsense girl who is basically the embodiment of a slytherclaw (and also seems very aroace after deciding that kissing isn’t really her thing)
main characters with disabilities! incl. a disabled love interest who adamantly doesn’t want a cure-all, and whose disability doesn’t make him any less desirable
comically inept and lovable pirates
tl;dr: a historical novel that acknowledges that queer people, disabled people and people of colour have always existed and puts them front and centre, while acknowledging the hardships they faced
also ALL YOUR FAVES LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER
*Percy, Hazel and Frank sitting together*
Hazel:
Frank:
Percy: *stands up*
Percy: Say hello, Hazel.
Percy: Say hello, Frank.
Everyone:
Percy: Now kiss! *shoves heads together and runs away*
Person A: *stares at chicken*
Person B:
Person A: *double takes between Person B and chicken*
Person B:
Person A: *picks up chicken like Simba*
Chicken: *stares intently*
Person A: *stares in awe*
Chicken: *unleashes the fiery fury of hell*
Person A: *s h r i e k s and starts running with chicken in hands*
Innocent Bystander: What—?
Person B: *turns to bystander*
Innocent Bystander: ????????!??!?!?!!!??
Person B: It’s cock o’clock
Person A: *comes running back and YEETS the chicken for a mile*
Dream Cast for TGGTVAV:
Monty: Baron Cohen
Percy: Anthony Ramos
Felicity: Emma Watson
Lockwood: Johnathan Groff
Duke of Bourbon: Rainn Wilson
Scipio: Daveed Diggs
Dante: Ezera Miller
Helena: Lara Pulver
Henri: Alex Price