Ok Time For A Real Question

Drew this out of this fandom’s lack of Papyri.

wait this just changed something in me

#elon

These men just stole the personal information of everyone in America AND control the Treasury. Link to article.

Akash Bobba

Edward Coristine

Luke Farritor

Gautier Cole Killian

Gavin Kliger

Ethan Shaotran

Spread their names!

TRANS MASC STAN

But he realizes really late on.

———

Sure, Stan always knew he was weird as a kid, he liked playing in the dirt/sand, he was never interested in typical girl things. He liked frogs and worms and being gross.

Caryn always threatened him with manners classes cause Stan would burp as loud as possible just to be irritating. He’d act out because he doesn’t *want* to be a traditional woman.

Things go according to cannon and Ford falls through the portal. Stan gets the bright idea to pretend to be Ford like in cannon, however, living as a man feels GOOD. In fact, it feels euphoric. So he gets on T and that feeling of gender euphoria just gets more and more intense. Then, he goes and gets top surgery and it’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to him.

He’s a man.

He chooses the name Stanley because yeah, he’s gotta pretend to be Stanford, but also…he wants a piece of his brother with him for real. He goes by Stan for short and to stay under the radar, but Stanley is the name he calls himself in his head.

Thirty years pass and Ford comes out of the portal, but there’s a very different conversation this time.

There’s more anger in Stanford because not only did Stan steal his life, his house and his name, but he also stole his FACE. Stan took his identity, to the point that he got SURGERY.

Dipper and Mabel are FLOORED.

If you go the trans Dipper route, Dipper is THRILLED. He’s always viewed Stan in a pretty negative light, but he’s never viewed him as anything other than a man. That just makes him more hopeful for his future, that one day he’ll be seen as a man at first glance and that people who LIVE with him will never know otherwise!

Things eventually reach a boiling point.

Ford snaps.

“You’ve always wanted to copy me! You even had that phase back in middle school where you even tried to dress like me! All your life you’ve practically suffocated me with your presence! Everything about you now is just me! This is delusional! You can’t be me! I am me and there’s no changing it, you can have as much surgery as you want and try as hard as you can but you won’t be me! It’s weird, Steph!”

Stanley, who is PISSED that Ford keeps calling him Steph in retaliation to things is ready to throttle Ford.

“I don’t want to be you! I want to be myself! I don’t want your life, I want my own life! I just like being a man more than being a woman! It feels better! Take your name, take your life, hell, take the house! That won’t stop me from living the rest of my life as a man!”

Dipper, Mabel and Soos are just…shook asf.

Dipper pipes up, first he starts off in a mumble, but Mabel puts a hand on his shoulder and his confidence grows.

He explains that he’s trans, it’s not that he wants to LOOK like someone or just look like a boy, he wants to BE a boy. Stan and Dipper bond more on this side of things because holy shit. They both had NO clue about each other but now they have someone to relate to.

Stan has to get over the guilt of the jokes he’d make about Dipper not being manly and such, he repays him with tips and tricks, how to use mascara to make the peach fuzz on your face look more like stubble, safe binding tips, etc. I LOVE THEM OKAY? Dipper and Stan teach/learn from each other.

I like the idea of Stan not really viewing himself as trans until this point. He just likes being a man…he was fine with being a girl before…right? So it’s not like…y’know…but nah, Dipper talks about his road to discovery and Stan is just like “oh fuck I’m trans. That’s crazy.”

As things go on Ford is still angry with Stan but, still wants him out. There’s just too much going on between them.

Then. The memory gun happens, and Ford is heartbroken because any photos he has of Stanley and him together is when they were brother and sister.

He thinks back to how dipper described how he wished he was born a boy…and he can’t give that to Stan. He has to remind Stan about the person he used to be and he feels terrible for it.

(Cue jokes I make to myself about someday having dementia and asking the nurse at the nursing home where my tits are every fifteen minutes. )

Blah, blah, blah, then they set sail as twin brothers.

Stanley and Stanford.

How The Nocturnal Bottleneck and Nipples Make Us Human

Almost every post here considers what humans do have, really. It’s a little tiring; realistically every world has its harsh environments and vicious species and a sophont to match. We probably wouldn’t be unique for our adaptability or our persistence or even adrenaline

But our evolution is fucked up as hell, to put it lightly.

Mammals went through what’s been dubbed the nocturnal bottleneck essentially since the start of the mesozoic right up until the Cretaceous ended the archosaur’s exclusive hold over the daylight. We lost a lot of things from every mammal spending most of its time in either a cramped, suffocating burrow or scrounging around in the faint hours of nighttime. Our blood cells lost their nuclei to hold more oxygen while we spent time deep underground, we lost protections against ultraviolet rays in our skin and eyes, we can’t even repair our own DNA using the light of the sun. Most aliens probably wouldn’t have such traits unless their evolution followed a very similar path to ours. They’d be able to see ultraviolet and wouldn’t have to worry about sunburn and all the wonderful privileges essentially all fish, birds, amphibians, and reptiles enjoy as we speak. 

There’s also what we gained from spending so much time in the dark.

Brown fat is only found in mammals, it’s a special type of fat which bear cells with several oil droplets and are utterly jammed with mitochondria. This lets it make heat, a lot of it, fast. We don’t even need to shiver to induce this heat generation from brown adipose tissue - factor in our downright hyperactive mitochondria, and we can warm up quickly. Sure, it doesn’t have too much use in adult humans, but it keeps our infants warm and still provides a little boost the whole run we have in this universe.

Unless aliens also went through a time where their small ancestors had to face cold nights, they’d have to produce heat the old fashioned way when chilled. Aliens might have to shiver the whole time they’re in a cold room while the human watches in confusion, quite literally unshaken, and wonders if the room is a lot colder than the thermostat set to 60 says. The aliens stare at their companion in confusion, it’s just a normal temperature to shiver at after all, how is the human sitting so still?

Our small ancestors spending all their time out foraging at night is also why we have such a good sense of touch, smell, and hearing. They were more important senses than vision (we’re lucky to have even redeveloped basic color vision, frankly) at the time and place and simply ended up continuing to serve us well. Birds and reptiles rarely have acute senses of smell and the latter especially are lucky to have acute hearing, and birds rarely have impeccable hearing themselves either. Our skin is free of scales and honed to sensitivity, and our external ears and complicated ear bones provide an immense range of hearing (from 20 all the way to 17,000 hertz!).

Aliens might not be able to pin down the chirp of a cricket or the light click of a lock being picked. The human might be the only one on board a ship that can pick out the finer sounds of the engine’s constant thrum and know the critical difference between when everything is fine and when something is wrong. The human could probably pick out the sounds of an approaching enemy’s careless footsteps - they’re only as light enough for *them* to stop hearing them, after all - and be the one to see the horrified expression (well, more on that later) on their face when we get the drop on them in spite of their perceived stealth. 

But perhaps the most versatile, convoluted, amazing, and utterly unique trait we have is right on your face this instant. Lips.

Lips in most animals are a simple seal to hold in the mouth’s moisture and protect the teeth, even if they’re supple they’re NEVER muscular except in mammals, and we have only one thing to thank for it; milk and nipples. Lips evolved exclusively to allow babies to suckle, it required a vacuum to be created in the mouth, and with no other animal having anything like a nipple it never happened in other animals. Many animals make milk, to be frank, but no other animal has nipples.

Your cheeks and lips are a marvel among tetrapods, no other animal can suck like mammals can. Aliens wouldn’t have straws or even be able to sip from the edge of a glass, they’d have to have a proboscis or simply tilt the whole thing back. Aliens likely won’t have woodwind instruments or balloons you can blow into. We take so much about our lips for granted. Hell, our muscular faces are vital for expressions, we’re probably absolute facial contortionists among a cast of creatures with mandibles and beaks and expressionless scaly maws. Aliens might find us ridiculously easy to read, if anything, compared to their own kind (all the better to deceive them) - or perhaps they’d find us hard to decipher anyways, with our lack of color-changing skin or erectable crests of bright feathers. Baring teeth might not be seen as a sign of aggression in most of the universe, smiling would be all too distinctly human. 

Perhaps with how infectious we are sometimes, that’s what we’d contribute to the universe; others might have to make do with opening their mouths just enough to show their teeth or splaying their innumerable mouthparts with just the right curve, but perhaps we’d teach the galaxy to smile, one ally at a time. 

Wouldn’t that be amazing?

Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

This here is me homunculus flesh puppet that me soul will transfer to in the event of me death. It’s got no soul insider it right now, so we keep it in a constant state a euphoria ter keep it from massacrin’ me customers.

Me and my family are doing egg rolling races tomorrow. We were decorating our eggs and I put Sonic characters on it

Sonic because, y'know, speed

Having the ultimate lifeform on my egg might make it the ultimate egg

Tails didn't show up very well but it's okay

The UTMV fandom has got to be a psychologist's dream. For those who don't know, there is a large debate when it comes to what determines a person's behaviour and personality: Nature (oyur DNA, you're born the way you are) or Nurture (your experiences and memories shape who you are as you grow). The UTMV is all about taking this one funny bone man and throwing him into different circumstances and seeing how he reacts and what changes. In AUs, sure Sans' Nature can be different (like whether or not Gaster is his dad, creator, or just a guy), but ATs don't have that asterisk. Geno has the same DNA as Classic, as Sci, as Horror, etc.. Everything that happens around them and what they do shapes their character, to a degree proving Nurture has a more dominant effect on a person's personality. Of course, creators are the ones that determine how Sanses react to certain scenarios so it's not a firm foundation, but its implications are something. Say you have seven clones of the same person and raise them in seven different ways: one has loving parents, one is a lab rat, one is exposed to hardship and labor, and so on. It could be an incredible breakthrough for anthropology, sociology, and psychology. Is it unethical? Probably. Isn't it what we creators do to Sans anyway? Kinda, yeah.

beginning to feel strongly that "autistic csa kid" is its own neurotype