The Time Machine

As much as I do go on about how the Emperor's Children are a bunch of femboys, there is far more to them than that.

People tend to forget (in part due to how Slaanesh has been reduced to a sex addict) that the reason they fell in the first place was their obsession with being the best of the best. All the illicit experimentation began with that goal in mind.

They (and Fulgrim) wanted to be the best, and that blinded them to how good they actually were.

I swear, if I hear *one more person* simplify fulgrim to just "yassss queen slay" I am going to break something. He's such an interesting, tragic and relatable character and I wish people didn't simplify him to "haha pretty boy".

Hello Kitty marines always go incredibly hard. The colors are very striking, and the soulless dark eyes go very well with warhammer.

"yoU'rE PAiNtInG tHEm WroNG"

Get fucked, loser.

It's okay, the glue trap will turn into him soon enough.

new models have been announced so naturally here is lucius the eternal dying in a gluetrap

Oh definitely. He worked 12-hour shifts in a factory growing up. He's made sure his personal spaces are places where he can just flop down anywhere. You could be in fully sealed power armor, but the minute you sit down on one of those sofas, you're going to be fast asleep and get the best rest you've gotten in years.

I headcannon Fulgrim to have an insanely comfortable room, with plush sofas and all that. Like if you make the mistake of sitting down in his quarters for even a few seconds you WILL fall asleep, that happened to several of his brothers repeatedly, they sat down on a sofa and emerged eight hours later like a cat from a weighted blanket.

ferrus especially hates it when that happens.

That's just an incentive to make comments like that.

I use them all the time, though.

"If you use em dash in your works, it makes them look AI generated. No real human uses em dash."

Imaging thinking actual human writers are Not Real because they use... professional writing in their works.

Imagine thinking millions of people who have been using em dash way before AI becomes a thing are all robots.

REBLOG IF YOU'RE A HUMAN AND YOU USE EM DASH

It's a case of something I've actually seen in myself, where they're so set in their ways and beliefs that the idea of "someone", as in, a distant unknown figure, would disagree with them. Sure, they might know a person who does, but that's a *That Person* thing, they only do it because they're "weird". They see something they like, and to them of *course* it agrees with them, because to them, it has no reason not to.

They're like the Emperor. They're so sure that they're right that they can't comprehend some "sane, informed, and reasonable" person disagreeing with them.

So apparently on twitter there's a whole thing going on where anti-woke Warhammer fans performatively stormed out by declaring that they were going to play the horror-themed WWI wargame Trench Crusade instead, only to be mass-banned from its discord because the moderators didn't want a bunch of paleocon trolls stinking up the place.

The thing that blows my mind isn't just that they thought the thoroughly subversive Trench Crusade was positive Christian rep, but that they thought Warhammer 40,000 was. The setting where the messiah is explicitly dead and rotting and was an anti-religion crusader in life. Meanwhile Warhammer Fantasy's Sigmar is much more Thor than Jesus. A lot of conservative evangelicals and tradcaths seem to fall into liking straight up pagan gods if they have a sufficiently macho and traditionalist (western European) aesthetic.

Honestly, this is beyond media illiteracy, it's just straight-up blindness. Obliviousness beyond even the people who think Robocop and Starship Troopers are gung-ho pro-American action movies. Now I'm left to wonder how many fans of the Blasphemous game series are passionate reactionary Christians who get the happy feelings from the aesthetics and totally ignore the story and themes.

Still, I am glad to have learned about Trench Crusade through this, looks like a cool game. Aesthetic and themes kind of remind me of the Trench Foot/Countrycide mod for Doom (which, granted, started off as a Warhammer 40K mod...).

Slaanesh is the god of obsession and excess, first and foremost.

What is a Space Marine most likely going to become obsessed with? Battle.

A whole chunk of the legion probably went the same route as Eidolon, doing whatever off-the-rails experiments on augmenting themselves to become better marksmen or swordsmen or whatever else (side note: sniper marines aren't done enough as a concept). They didn't do this because they were worse than the average marine from other legions, they did this because they wanted to be better than everyone around them.

Also, in Fulgrim, we see how Space Marines react to arousal in the Maraviglia. What do they do? They start killing the people around them.

The Flanderization of Slaanesh is one of the worst things to happen to the Emperor's Children's characterization. Slaanesh is not the god of sex.

everyone thinks EC are pushover stupid self absorbed weaklings and I think if that’s how you conceptualize us hust because we like partying and body modification and music and drugs. if you think we aren’t still the poets and artists and musicians and composers and so much more under all that. Fuck you. Genuinely fuck you. I hate you. We’re not stupid we’re not stupid perverts can you please take us fucking seriously