Types Of Ships

casual reminder that i wrote an 90-page novel when i was eight about a deranged pensioner who wants to take over the world and return everything to “The Good Old Days”, and which included such choice elements as

a really neurotic vegetarian vampire 

alice cooper, for no apparent reason

an evil supermodel called miranda goth 

three nine-year-olds climbing mount everest in diving helmets 

the entire population of scotland appearing out of literally nowhere to help defeat the antagonists 

“you can take our lives but you cannot take our trousers" 

Rich people showers

the biggest epistemological gap between me & 95% the rest of the world is literally just how much i love to look things up on the internet and how much it baffles me when other people don't like to do this. we live in the information age. like i'll google anything i'll read this bmj paper on the toilet i'll look up words i don't know i'll append pdf free to any possible phrase. i don't know how anybody is voluntarily turning this down. sometimes i get so tired of searchinf for something physically inside a store i pull out my phone and google like silken tofu aldi what fucking aisle while im standing right there. otherwise what is even the point

there is a tendency with history, i think, because we’re so far removed from it, to kind of forget that all of the people were people

a child 10,000 years ago left a handprint on a wall. they were fingerpainting. a viking climbs up a rock just to carve the words “this is very high” 10ft off the ground. somebody centuries… milennia… ago burned their dinner so thoroughly that they buried the ruined pot in the backyard rather than attempt to clean it. shakespeare got drunk and wrote dick jokes. tutankhamun was a little boy who liked ducks more than anything. a roman carves his name into a monument in another country saying “i was here”. a prisoner, centuries ago, in the tower of london scratches lines into the wall as a tally marking the days. a medieval monk scrawls in the margins bemoaning the boredom of his work.

every human being across history has said “i was here. i lived. i loved. i made something. i laughed. i cried. please do not forget me”

just realizes olive oil comes from olives…. much to think about

Lots of my favorite vines are old ones, so here are some that I didn’t want lost to the wind

Might make part 2 w/more modern vines(?)

ok but legitimately i think the reason why kids aren’t taking internet safety seriously is because the people who are telling us not to put our personal information out seem so out of touch. no one acknowledges the possibility of meeting very real teenaged friends online, they always say that everyone you meet is a 40 year old white man in disguise. because they aren’t acknowledging things we know are true, it becomes a lot easier to dismiss the rest of what they’re saying as well. internet safety lessons absolutely must keep up with the times and acknowledge the internet’s capacity for good if you want kids to take to heart warnings about its capacity for bad.

listen I’m just dreading the day when they’re gonna screw us over and close this site for lack of use. you already see people talking like “oh I miss Tumblr” all the time like we’re not still RIGHT FREAKING HERE enjoying our fandom shenanigans in real time…like half the memes on Twitter and Insta are just reposted from here??? uh?? what is that saying???

like I KNOW that Tumblr usage has plummeted and half the blogs that follow me are probably dormant by now. I know that. but if other social media outlets aren’t gonna learn a thing or two about hiding follower counts or allowing tag-based organization or ACTUALLY SHOWING POSTS IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER FOR ONCE, then I don’t want them touching this one