“all the deaths could have been prevented if andrey and goncharov just had gay sex” well what if they had gay sex and then still did the killings. i think they deserve to have some killings as a treat
i'm so confused rn, can you explain the goncharov thing?? i get off tumblr for five minutes
(This post will be kept pinned & periodically updated until 28 Nov)
Lmaoooo
Nah I getchu. So this post has been circulating for like a year:
Link to post.
But yesterday, it had inspired someone to do this:
Link to post.
Next thing I knew there were fake Letterboxed reviews.
Goncharov moodboards. Really good ones.
Link to post.
Meta analysis. So many fake meta essays. Disturbingly good ones. And of course the memes. (Edit: HAVE I SAID THIS SHIT IS DISTURBING)
As you can see, the myth just started to grow, characters and ships and tropes being added one after the other, almost bizzarely without contradiction, until there was enough of shape to the whole thing for people to start posting fanfic about it on AO3. "No beta we die like ice-pick Joe" is already a tag.
Link to post.
It was hilarious in the beginning, but the way it's developed within less than a day, kind of like it's being willed into existence, is freaking me out a bit. We're toying with powers beyond our comprehension. 😂😂😂
Link to post.
Of course, there could be an ulterior motive as well.
Link to post (tags mine).
Edit: guys, please tag these posts "unreality" so people with disassociation issues can filter them out (not this one, this is an explainer). <3
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Edit 2: Aparently the boots in the original post are actually referring to a movie called Gomorrah that came out in 2008, directed by Mateo Garrone, based on the Scampia Feud. And other people had also been making posts about the fake movie for a while before the poster took off.
found by @thepotch
Edit 3: Explainer: why did those boots have this movie on them anyway?
Edit 4: Alt text added to all images courtesy of @valentineish ❤️
Edit 5: Turns out tumblr has done this kind of thing before. Nine years in this hell place and I had to have "Squiddles" and penis smp explained in the replies.
Edit 6: This post collects the Lore so far.
Edit 7: Lynda Carter (real one)/ earns more/ Tumblr cred.
Edit 8: Holy shit y'all we have the theme music. With sheet music. And it's on Spotify!
Edit 9: THERE IS A TRAILER WITH THE THEME MUSIC
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I made this post 18 hours after the movie poster went up. Closed edits 27 hours after first posting. So all of the above happened within 45 hours of the movie poster going up.
Edit 10: Google document live-compiling all the lore so far (Day 3)
Edit 11: Masterpost of Goncharov soundtracks (Day 3)
Edit 12: Entertainment news articles covering the Gonch-posting (real) (Contd from yday)
Edit 13: The music from the masterpost all compiled into a 31-minute original score with video edits on YouTube (edit: unfortunately taken down)
Edit 14: Staff's Goncharov art showcase for Tumblr Tuesday
As of closing on Day 3 there are 371 works in the AO3 tag.
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Updating with Day 3 shenanigans I missed yesterday:
Edit 15: Goncharov TV Tropes page
Edit 16: Ethics of Gonchposting
Important PSA 1 (how to reduce harm to Tumblr's neurodivergents)
Important PSA 2 (reality affirmation, anti-bullying)
Important PSA 3 (why you should stop trying to vandalise legit information sites)
Edit 17: Character lore from beezlebub whose poster they originated from
Edit 18: What we know about/ Director Matteo JWHJ0715 (#unreality)
Edit 19: Link to post with screenshotted and described NYT article (scroll down) and this golden exerpt from BuzzFeed: 💀
(alt text included)
End of Day 4 there are now 485 works in the Goncharov tag on AO3
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Didn't get to update this on Day 5, so these are the Day 5 doings:
More trailers!
Trailer 1 (My favourite)
Trailer 2
Trailer 3
Trailer 4
I also just found out about the Goncharov Game Jam.
It appears this opened a day after after the meme took off? It also says: "The deadline has been pushed back one week, to December 4, 2022, due to the US Thanksgiving holiday and greater-than-expected interest."
Goncharov was first entered into Wikipedia between Day 4 and 5 (attempts to vandalise it with fake info don't count, incidentally – please knock that shit off) under List of Internet Phenomena. This was then expanded into its own Wikipedia page at the end of Day 5 because, according to the talk history: "the topic now meets the notability threshold for its own artice due to significant coverage in The New York Times and other sources cited." We're on Wikipedia, people!
And then we made The Guardian half a day later. So while the meme is definitely dying down to embers by now, it still stays winning.
YouTube channels with episodes on the meme:
InformOverlord (4:30)
Lessons in Meme Culture (2:43)
End of Day of 5 there were 511 works on AO3, and End of Day 6 (today) there are 556.
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🚨BREAKING 🚨 from Martin Scorsese's daughter's TikTok (real actual):
i am not immune to gonch posting
Google doc is here
Discord is here
(If the links don’t work, feel free to hit me up and I’ll try to connect you!)
Anakin’s Zygerrian outfit but live action.
So there’s this terrifying statue currently touring England called KNIFE ANGEL that’s apparently supposed to raise awareness about knife crime or something but i cannot get over how the ppl organising events around this thing have absolutely no idea what tone to go for. Like what sort of Nightvale shit is this
source
I think Moby Dick might be cosmic horror. Captain Ahab is like "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND it's not a whale. God is an evil master controlling every living human like a puppet, free will is an illusion, we are caught in a cruel trap made by god. THAT WHALE IS THE MASK OF THAT GOD"
HE THINKS HE THINKS if he can kill the whale, he can break humanity free of the bonds of GOD. and our narrator boy Ishmael is like "uh...i think it might just be a big whale and you have trauma" BUT THEN AT THE END ISHMAEL SEES IT and he's like "oh no. it's god"
and like. IT KILLS EVERYONE IT EATS AHAB AND DRAGS HIM INTO HELL SCREAMING. it IS god. nature is god.
god what a good story
i love too that if you know it from pop culture you know Ahab's leg was eaten by the whale? well thats the more soft version, in the story proper you hear he was basically CHEWED ALIVE, his whole body is held together with HATE and THE WILL TO KILL GOD and WHALE BONE PROSTHETICS.
AT SOME POINT he just HOLDS SOME LIGHTNING and everyone is like "Captain ahab is so cool i'd die for him" and the only one going "hey this seems weird" is the main character
but yeah every time i'm like "GOD MOBY DICK IS SO GOOD" people are like "the whale hunting story?? with the stinky boring men???" and i get sad.
Talk not to me of blasphemy, man; I’d strike the sun if it insulted me!
From the somethingawful forums, the live thread when 9/11 happened
I can't believe this game isn't a fanfic
Brucie Wayne dancing naked while being screamed at by the Penguin sure is something
Thank you, /r/ProgrammerHumor, I love you endlessly.
Redditors competing to make the worst volume sliders possible...
This variant of the Goldentail / Bastard Moray is known as the Banana Eel due to its colouration and markings resembling a ripe banana.
(source)
plenty of emotions.
our foes fall like the leaves
[image description: four photos of op standing outside in a field on a foggy autumn morning. they wear metal armor over black clothing and a golden cloak drapes from their shoulders. op is a white person with long brown hair worn in a braided bun. they wield an arming sword. end image description.]
I have (1) favourite conspiracy theory
this was under a puppet history video
(photos by Bill Watterson and an octopus)
im in a bit of reading slump at the moment and i believe my current rewatch of the expanse tv show may be a cause of this. it’s so good! and i can’t find books to scratch that same space opera itch! so when i came across an Esquire article about the expanse and its impact on the genre, i pulled out everything that was being name checked, and figured i might as well share them!
Standalones to dip into
To Be Taught, If Fortunate by Becky Chambers
Phoenix Extravagant or Beyond The Dragon’s Gate by Yoon Ha Lee
The Light Brigade by Kameron Hurley
The Prey Of Gods or The Hero Of Numbani by Nicky Drayden
Redshirts by John Scalzi
Series for the long haul
Chilling Effect by Valerie Valdes
Wayfarers by Becky Chambers
Imperial Radch by Ann Leckie
The Machineries Of Empire by Yoon Ha Lee
Teixcalaan by Arkady Martine
Bel Dame Apocrypha by Kameron Hurley
Escaping Exodus by Nicky Drayden
Tremontaine by (among many others) Karen Lord
Axiom by Tim Pratt
Old Man’s War or The Interdependency by John Scalzi
Binti by Nnedi Okorafor
The Memory War by Karen Osborne
The Bloodright Trilogy by Emily Skrutskie
Co-authored works
The Expanse by James S.A. Corey, d’uh
The Vela by Yoon Ha Lee, Becky Chambers, Rivers Solomon, and S.L. Huang
The Aurora Cycle by Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff
Books semi-randomly pulled from GR’s suggestions
Seven Devils by Laura Lam & Elizabeth May
The Black God’s Drum or Fatma El-Sha’arawi by P. Djeli Clark
The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells
An Unkindness Of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon
Better Worlds, edited by Laura Hudson
The Indranan War by K.B. Wagers
The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester
Paradox by Rachel Bach
No more shaved pussy we need to bring back bush i hope whoever invented shaved pussy is in hell
eminem’s got about lyrics about how the secret service interviewed him, so a journalist FOIA’d info about eminem from the secret service to fact check his rap
it turns out the secret service investigated eminem because of lyrics threatening trump and ivanka
and they really did interview him
and when one of the secret service agents started reading the threatening lyrics out loud eminem started rapping along
and they noted that
Hey, it’s Hershey. We already got our first exciting fan letter! Let’s see what it says
It’s from Forrest. Hi, Forrest! You suggested that we should delete our account on July 17th, 2021.
Well Forrest, I have a suggestion for you. On July 17th, 2021, I suggest you start running.
everybody saying we should elect larry prime minister and no one is addressing his job and how it relates to parliament and the fact that he is in N.10 for one reason (to catch mice) AND YET—
1. is so shit at catching mice he has a criticisms section on his wikipedia page and had to have another cat hired to help him as a mouser
2. is guilty of workplace bullying
3. is a total cunt of a cat.
in conclusion, he would be the perfect candidate for a prime ministerial position and could not be more suited for a role in the tory party.
Seeing a lot of people not from the uk not understanding who Larry the Cat is and his role in UK politics
Larry the Cat is no. 10’s official mouser. He lives at No. 10 and catches mice. He has held this position for over a decade
When shit is going down and all the news crews are hanging outside no. 10 waiting for something to happen he’s usually also hanging around outside so when there’s not much visual happening but they don’t want to cut away from the outside of No. 10 we all just watch Larry
He is often seen standing by the door waiting to be let in
He is the most competent person at No. 10
I like how like… with every new piece of Star Wars media that paints Tatooine as more and more of a shithole where everyone is a murderous crimelord the funnier it gets that Luke Skywalker just grew up on this planet completely normal. Like I’m envisioning a normal day at Tosche Station where a cyborg biker and a Twi'lek prostitute are stabbing each other over a bag of spice and then it just pans over to this fresh-faced nancy boy sitting at a table sipping on his blue milk going “oh golly, I sure do love power converters!”
From the Wikipedia page on loons
Can’t believe Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice in the 2000s
And in 2015 Emily Brontë released literary clsssic Wuthering Heights
Thank God someone paved the way for them…
In the town where I grew up, there was a large statue in one of the parks, of a famous historical white colonizer. I'm not going to say who specifically, suffice it to say that it was someone who wasn't worth memorializing for their deeds. And as you can imagine, this statue was a frequent target of vandalism, with paint or toilet paper or eggs on multiple occasions. Now, the local council was generally pretty lax when it came to repairing potholes or other public damage in the town, but every time, 24 hours after this particular statue was hit, the same person would always appear in a Hi-Vis vest, hat, mask and sunglasses, carrying a bucket of water, and wash it clean. They would do it as quickly as possible, but always made sure the face and the name carved at the bottom were generously scrubbed. This only encouraged people to do it again, and so it became a vicious cycle.
Within a year, the statue had sustained so much damage that it was unrecognizable and the lettering unreadable, so eventually the council came and took it down. Also apparently, the person in the Hi-Vis vest didn't even work for the council. They were supposedly just some 'good samaritan' who cleaned it, often before the council even discovered it needed cleaning, so they just let them do it and ignored the problem. They didn't bother putting the statue up again.
Much later, we found out that the anonymous 'samaritan' had been deliberately washing the statue with a bucket of saltwater, which had dramatically corroded it, causing irreversible accumulative damage far worse than spray paint ever would have done. It's even theorized that they were also often the one spray-painting it, just so that they had an excuse to come back after a day to wash it.
Im not American so please forgive me if this comes across as rude but when Americans start a sentence with “during the 2016 killer clown craze-” I can’t help myself. Talked about like it was a force of nature. Said with a nonchalant air like its an inevitable part of growing up. The killer clown craze.