Coping - Blog Posts
AGENT STONE CAN STILL WIN COME ON
૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა 08/02/24
all is not lost and grief is needed in order to heal.
ive been trying to make myself all put together and healed up when i havent even done the first step yet which is grieving, ive been putting it off for so long but the reality is that healing does not come without intense emotional releases and i had no idea that i was damaging myself by not allowing myself to process it all, now that i did that today it is very much tiring but its so much more better than staying in an anxious and low state all the time. all is well !! and i believe i will get better and love myself more each and everyday
its really hard to admit that i let someone treat me like i was less than and believed it but also the fact that i saw myself as less deserving, i dont want to be hateful at my past self so all i can do is love and let go no matter how long it takes to do so,, i'll def be sleeping with a clear mind and come to the acceptance of that pain
but i also finished my kuromi lego set today !! look it >
give yourself permission to be who you are, fear does not exist in a space where gratitude is always present. i always look at the life outside of my head and will forever remain grateful for it all being here, even if its negatively tied to my past. in the same respect i also choose to be who i've always wanted to be even if others look at it negatively ♡
⁺˚⋆｡ °✩₊ 2/2/24
todays been all about challenging emotions, not cause i wanted it to be but instead it has just come to the point where its making me feel a little crazy,, all of this pent up emotion has me looking at myself in the mirror different.
but i know i cant move forward without expressing all of this emotion, yet i keep on catching myself being so worried about other peoples expectations even when they arent even in my life anymore, not just that but also the way i look to other people. i dont want to be like that anymore its draining and irritating and ive been quite irritated today :( it takes patience to make everything fall into order and accept but i wish it was just like night and day, is this a form of karma or punishment? im not sure..
im trying to be kinder to myself and as long as im trying i know there will be an outcome.
but on the positive side i got bubble tea today with my best friend :)
i managed to calm myself down from sudden anxiety today for the first time ever!? ♡♡ i'm really making progress !
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It’s been a long week and an even longer day.
The grief is forever. I’m thankful he is no longer suffering.
I think I've started coping for my coping
I thought I was better, but now I'm moping
Maybe it was all just hopeless hoping
Gonna add this post the the growing list of things I wish I could show my teenage self
been thinkin about how my ethics professor back in undergrad was like.
look. there’s no such thing as perfect altruism. you’ll always get something out of helping or being kind to others, whether it’s a stronger relationship or returned kindness or just the feeling of having done good. there’s nothing inherently bad about getting something from doing good either, especially since it’s completely unavoidable. people being rewarded for putting love into the world doesn’t make the world a worse place. so just do as much good as you can and don’t worry about being “selfless” while doing it, because being truly selfless is in fact impossible.
and like man did that take the pressure off of Being A Good Person!! you’re allowed to enjoy helping people! you’re allowed to be kind without worrying that you’re maybe secretly just doing it for yourself!! it’s okay if you are doing it for yourself because you’re still being kind to others!!!!!
Reminder
Your sadness is valid.
Your frustration is valid.
Your pain is valid.
Your jealousy is valid.
Your hurt is valid.
Your disappointment is valid.
Your shame/guilt is valid.
Your regret is valid.
Your anxiety is valid.
Your happiness is valid.
Your enthusiasm is valid.
Your passion is valid.
Your love is valid.
Your emotions are valid.
No matter what your emotions are, they are valid. You are allowed to feel.
But that does not mean your reactions may be valid too. You cannot hurt other people because of your emotions. You are responsible for your reactions to emotions.
Responsibility does not dismiss your validity of feeling a particular emotion.
Reminder
It's okay if you didn't achieve the things that you worked hard for.
It's also okay if you did.
It's okay if you feel like you didn't try harder.
It's also okay if you did.
No matter what people say, you did your best.
If you didn't achieve the goal that you said you would, people will say "She didn't try hard enough"
If you did achieve the goal, they would say "She sacrificed too much"
No matter what, people will talk
So, be gentle to yourself.
Reminder
Your pain (physical/mental/emotional) is valid even if nobody can see it
Your pain is valid even if you have no physical symptoms
Your pain is valid even if there is no physical injury
Your pain is valid even if others tell you it's not
Your pain is valid even if you do not have a life threatening disease
Your pain is valid even if you don't have a diagnosis
Your pain is valid even if you do have a diagnosis
Your pain is still valid even if nobody believes you
Your pain is still valid even if you are too "young" for the problem/issue
Your pain is valid even if the health care advisor/anybody tells you that it's in your head
Your pain is valid no matter what the conditions are
Your pain is valid.
Pain does not discriminate between age, gender, race, nationality etc. Just because you can't see pain, doesn't mean it's not there.
Progress is still progress!
It doesn't matter if you hadn't done the things you were supposed to do. It doesn't matter that if you finished 1 thing out of 4 things. You don't have 3 more things to do, you have 1 less thing to complete.
It doesn't matter if you had relapsed after a day or 3 of productivity and healing into a spiral again. What matters is that you get back up and start again. Because now you're a bit stronger and more resilient than before.
It doesn't matter if all you did today was getting out of bed, eat and change your clothes while you did nothing else. Appreciate yourself and give yourself the credit you deserve for doing those small things.
It doesn't matter if the only thing you did today was to focus on existing and on yourself alone. Be proud of surviving till the end of the day because you made it through knowing that there was a possibility of you not making it.
Progress is still progress. It doesn't matter if you take small or big steps. You're taking a step and that's all that matters.
Reminder!
It's okay:
If you're not currently interested in studying
If you've lost interest in some thing you like/love
If you need a break
If you just need to sleep for the whole day and be lazy
If you just want to watch/binge shows and movies
If you don't feel chirpy sometimes
If you feel sad/angry/or any other emotion
If you feel stressed or pressured because of work
It's okay if you are not okay