Deep Thoughts - Blog Posts
And the highlighter of mundanity, Bathed the whole book.
~ark
Who I Am
I let the screams sink in, They were mere words after all. I already knew their emotions, I stood still like a doll. I lay my head low, My mind all blank. An infinite questions sowed, Answers were all hanged. The mirror on the guilt's wall, I tried to cover it with my hands. I wondered who I was, While they asked me who I am.
~ark
Moving On
Reality sunk in, Imaginations came to an end. The chromatic life was now buried, The reign of truth finally flourished. The string of relations broken, Slowly strangled me to death. I said, I had already moved on, While I visited a new place wearing my old uniform. Bitterness is better than sweetness, they said, But I still wanted to read the chapters already read.
AND..
As I peeked through the closed doors, Confused between the two boats, I begged to find the pages I wrote, While I burned the ones they tore.
What Do I Do?
While I dwelled in one of my prayers, I still asked for more. The universe listened closely, Numerous missed calls on my phone. They say, a human ends with diminishing aspirations, But was it coming from my core? What's the point of achieving anything, When my body doesn't belong to my soul, When I don't even belong to myself anymore.
~ark
Her Life
Her laughter echoed the pain of her cries, The ice melted, she burned and tried. Happy face with empty eyes, Her smile depicted the pain confined. Her words reflected her past mistakes, She vowed to change her dying life. Bleeding by the cuts of their knife, She refused to be called futile. She decorated her old grave, With the ribbons of the broken ties. Rising from the ground once again, Her silence roared the goddess's might.
~ark
What else should I say?
~ark
They'll Too
The situation I had been in, Was the situation they were in. I wanted to warn them, As I already knew the end, But I decided against it. As I was the one who ignored the warnings too, And I knew they'll too. Thinking, The way I realised, They'll realise too. The way I learned, They'll learn too.
~ark
Shine
I chased the new light, While wandering in the night. Dreams of shining bright remained in my mind, While I wanted to live my own life. Not that shining wasn't a part of it, But the bed of satisfaction, Lay beneath me. I fought with time, A weak opponent, I thought. Life's best lesson taught, Refusing to be stuck in a moment, I rose, I chose war.
~ark
I expected the whole world, But now, I have accepted my own world.
~ark
The Table
She sat on the table, She thought, she brought meaning to. But she was just an entertaining label, That was thrown away, The day her consciousness grew. She still sat on the same place, Not to make them feel what they lost, But because her identity belonged, To the people with her path once crossed.
~ark
My Memories
I was patient, or so I thought. I counted every moment, To witness the thing, I yearned to see for long. But it came and ended so soon. Glimpses danced in my mind, While I waited for it once again. My tears that reflected the luminescence of my moon, Refused to fall, as the memories would drain too. The future became the past, My mind mourning at the memorials, Eyes blinded by hopes, Should I consider my comfort a curse or a boon?
~ark
Biri yorgunluğumu alabilir mi? Gerçekten yorgunluğumu alacak birine ihtiyacım var. Kahve iyi gelir demeyin. Bende kafein etki etmiyor...
Ben bağımlı değilim..
“I was looked at, but I wasn’t seen.”
-Albert Camus, “The Misunderstanding.”
Be not afraid of what the future will hold.
We do not know exactly as to what the future will bring.
Entropy is a bringer of chaos, and chaos is impossible to predict.
We may be able to guess what events will occur in the near future, but our predictions of the future will become increasingly less accurate, and more vague and large-scale as the go further along the arrow of time.
But let it be known.
A fear of the future, of one's own future, and the future of those they care about, is natural.
Self-preservation is why humans have survived so long, as opposed to just blindly rushing in and doing a task.
For a disregard of one's safety is always foolish.
But we cannot lay dormant forever, no matter how fearful of the future we are. For the future never waits. You cannot stop it.
For this, remember, that if you cannot know what the future will bring, you must cherish every good time and every silver lining. You must find hope in the bad days, and take comfort in the good days.
An old story is as such:
An old king sent out his three wisest philosophers to come up with a saying that fights in both good times and bad, in drought and flood, in exceeding wealth and staggering poverty.
They thought for many days and many nights, and returned with 4 words.
"This, too, shall pass."
This moment, too, shall pass. Cherish it, for you cannot go back.
Look to the future, and chaos, and the unpredictability of the world we live in, not to be scared, but to grow, and to remember to savour the world and every moment we have with it.
To inspire people, don't show them your super powers.Show them theirs.
I sometimes have this unsettling feeling that I’m actually an old woman remembering my life. That maybe I’m unconscious or senile somewhere and just thinking about the life that I had.
The shitty decline when someone you care about intensely decides to humiliate you publicly, treat you like garbage, and pretty much rip your soul into pieces because you care and Yet they choose to use that against you and break you down over and over....... that feeling right there, is something I will never be able cope with or “unfeel”. It is a heartache unlike any other, especially when you know that person is in agony due to other factors in their life. It’s self inflicted soul pain that you’re doing out of love and it eats you from the inside out.
The dark side of falling in love.
You know, love is a tricky thing. It's like walking blindfolded through a maze, never quite sure if you'll stumble upon the exit or fall into a pit. You can pour your heart and soul into loving someone, give them everything you've got, but you can never be sure if they'll love you back the same way.
It's like, you're standing there, baring your soul, hoping they'll see the love in your eyes and feel it in every beat of your heart. But you can never really look into their heart, can you? You can never know for sure if they're feeling the same way, if they're holding onto you as tightly as you're holding onto them.
And that uncertainty, man, it's like a constant shadow looming over you. You question every smile, every touch, wondering if it's genuine or just a facade. You want to believe they love you as much as you love them, but deep down, there's always that nagging doubt.
So you learn to live with it, I guess. You learn to cherish the moments when they make you feel loved and pray that they're real. You learn to trust, even when every fiber of your being screams at you to run away.
Because at the end of the day, love is a leap of faith. It's about taking a chance, knowing full well that you might crash and burn, but hoping against hope that you'll soar instead. And maybe, just maybe, that's what makes it worth it in the end.
Tbh, the atomization of my generation is one of the saddest things ive ever seen. Like, to have a society at all requires individuals casting aside their own desires and needs and wants in order to support mutual survival. Different people with different morals and different belief systems coming together for something greater than themselves, whether that be the construction of a measly little building to provide shelter or a great city to protect their children, that's one of the best things about humanity in general (and let's be real humanity isn't the greatest). but its so sad to see my generation being raised with the idea that the individual is all that matters, because all that's going to come from it is a generation of self-interested, uncooperative, confused individuals. bc like it or not, men (meaning human beings in general) are not gods, and the simple fact that the only people we can can control are ourselves is proof enough of that. so to raise people with the idea that we are all fundementally gods only serves to make them confused when reality has its say and it turns out there's so much more than just themselves. nobody can have conversations, nobody can make sacrifices and the worst part is that nobody really believes in anything anymore just what serves them the best. and its all because we keep telling ourselves that we're the exception, we're the standard, we're the gods on earth and it just means that we're a generation of people yelling over each other, screaming "I'm special! I'm significant!" while everyone else screams the same about ourselves and the irony is, if more people focused on what unites us instead of what makes them different, more people would appreciate what makes each other significant, worth something but no we just scream into the uncaring darkess that our voice is all that matters and feel angry when our voice echoes back to us
Obsession Update #4
Worrying
Taylor Swift (COMPLETELY)
boygenius
reading and writing poetry
custom shoes
books
looking at nice socks (???)
Katie Douglas
Turns out that if you kiss a frog it can turn into an other frog that don’t go “quack” but “wack”
🐸
"Y es una injusticia, que el simple hecho de ser diferentes sea lo más normal del mundo."
me 31122017
"'I am', she said, my being in her eyes, 'I am one of those people, I'm sure of it!' she held such a joy in her manner, I couldn't tell her why that wasn't so. Not by the type of love I needed."
doomed yuri core (i wish you saw it more, yuri that is)
may 27, 2025
his smile is so perfect. crooked and smug, but perfect for him.
may 26, 2025
i’ve sworn for years we’re connected. because every time you come i can sense it. see it in the dark, hear it a million miles away. not only love swirls between us; raw want drags us back together over and over again.
may 25, 2025
i yearn for destruction of myself.
may 24, 2025
i have nothing to say anymore.