Im In This Picture And I Dont Like It - Blog Posts
me doing anything else: omggg i just wanna write i could making so much progress on my WIP right nowww
me working on said WIP: scrolling on phone with laptop open on the same chapter it's been open on for days.
I made this callout meme for me and me specifically
im complaining all day about my neck hurting and then sit down to read like that
*Scrolling on my phone and seeing a writing meme*
"Oh wow this is so funny!" I say as my story collects dust in the background
having adhd is like "fuck, it's half past noon. that pretty much means it's one o'clock. that means it's lunchtime. that means it's pretty much three. that means it's almost five o'clock, and that means the day is pretty much over and i don't have time for any of the things i was going to do today :( time to scroll aimlessly through social media until bedtime"
i don't smoke for the obvious reasons of not wanting to develop an addiction to nicotine but god do i so often feel the emotion 'i need a cigarette'.
every day i make choices. not the right ones, usually, but choices nevertheless.
Gifted kid still in school here!
I am struggling in math, but everyone thinks I’m great at it since I’m a grade ahead no one listens to me when I talk about my anxiety about getting bad grades (a low A or a B, I have cried over getting those multiple times), saying that I can’t have anxiety/be stressed because I’m so young.
And because I excel in science, I’m currently in an honors course and two college courses! How fun. (/Sarcasm)
Everyone calls me smart just because I get decent grades. I don’t know anything about the solar system, engineering or coding.. but my special interest is architecture, urban design, City , art, reading and storytelling yet I never get to show anyone that.
They call me smart because I know most of the SAT words already and their definitions, but I only know that because I pick up a book every once in a while and binge read a whole series in a week.
According to everyone, I know, I’m a know it all, yet I can’t control the tone of my voice, I can’t understand Love or emotions. I just don’t feel human sometimes. Yet they call me smart.
I never learned how to study, I never learned how to take notes properly until this year and I still can’t turning my homework on time because it’s difficult sometimes and it’s discouraged me because everything supposed to be easy. That’s what I was told.
It’s not easy. Nothing is anymore, and it’s throwing me for such a loop that I can’t understand.
Maybe I’m in the middle of a gifted kid burn out, but I’ve been burnt out since middle school.
people misunderstand what ‘gifted kid’ actually means but it’s ok it’s fine it’s cool it’s good
Me and my friends hanging out and talking about our fictional crushes:
Friends: normal crushes on attractive characters
Me: has a crush on only main character's brothers
Friends: omg looks likes you have a brother complex...hahaha.....just kidding
Me: heh....no of course not
Me, later in my bed: I think I do have a brother complex caused by lack of male figures to look up that has made me in want of finding them in other peoples siblings.....
Me: or they are just hot when they are two years older
The incorrect and negative beliefs we can get from years of negative feedback not knowing we have ADHD or how it affects our lives. While not everything is solely caused by ADHD, it can affect us and our comorbidities in many, many ways. Good news is, treating ADHD can do wonders for Anxiety and Depression!
bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky bucky
So, my brother wanted to cheer me up...
when you and the homie are trying to emote correctly but you both have autism
Who else suppresses their feelings in an attempt to make things less complicated but ends up just making them worse
artist in denial of being depressed: omg this 2 month long art block has been crazy... sorry i haven't updated any of my fics in a long while! it's just been super difficult to daydream! so weird that i've lost a little bit of passion for my current comfort character and ocs... this couldn't possibly have any implications or alternative explanations
I have three modes of reading
Dont read
Read a 500 page book in a day
Read only fanfiction until my eyeballs drop out of my skull from exhaustion
lotr version because this meme encompasses my entire being
hyperfixation please stay with me long enough to complete the project. hyperfixation do not fade. hyperfixation finish what you started for the love of god
maybe this time picking at Textures on my skin will lead to being silky smooth
thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.
being an overthinker but also being insanely needy is such an interesting combo
bc yes i want you, really bad
but what if i'm annoying
oh i hope what i said was good
but what if it's just cringy
[before showering] i must go to bed posthaste. nary a minute to waste! sleep awaits!
[after shower] i need to stroll through the entire museum of natural history on google streetview. this is of vital importance at 11:38pm on a worknight
oh thanks for the compliment unfortunately i don’t believe you
