Qpr Positivity - Blog Posts
I want a relationship that is completely undefinable by any existing labels or words. Like, we're so close and we hug and kiss each other's foreheads and cuddle and travel and explore together, and we get along so well and have so much in common. But at the same time, our relationship isn't fully romantic or fully platonic; it's a completely separate, open-to-interpretation thing that we tweaked as needed, and we have our own boundaries and things we are and aren't comfortable with, and we respect each other in every way, shape, and form.
actually no, we're not "dating". we're bound together for infinity. like the stars. so, fuck you, actually.
"there is no platonic explanation for this" when characters hug, care for each other, support them, are worried when they are in danger, smile at each other etc
Some of yall just don't have any good friends and it really shows
hey guys do the allos know that they can have qprs too? like do they know that being alloromantic doesn't mean they can't choose to be in a qpr anyway? because qprs aren't "romance-lite" for aros, they're an entirely separate kind of relationship that anyone can have. you can do this with fictional characters too. you can put characters that aren't aroace or are even canonically dating in qprs with each other just because you think that would be a cool way to play with their dynamic. it's actually very cool and you totally should.
Liking a popular ship in a fandom but not in an specifically romantic way is so difficult because you will almost never find fan content that fits your interpretation of the relationship. No they don't kiss but they are deeply and are irrevocably tied to each other. They can't live without one another. The devotion they have to each other transcends space, time and any traditional relationship labels.
But *sighhhh* I'll read fics where they date I guess...
I really like this, I once explained QPRs as looking at the rules for established relationship types and saying "No, we don't like those," and then building your own relationship, taking pieces you like, leaving what you don't, and even adding your own stuff if you want, to make a new thing that works for you.
i keep seeing misinformation about this, so: queerplatonic relationships do not have a set definition. the name comes from the idea that it's "queering" the platonic relationship, tailoring it to the individual relationships' own desires. it isn't necessarily romance lite, but it also isn't necessarily whatever definition you want to impose on it. the point of queering the platonic relationship is to break away from strict allonormative views on friendship, romance, and sex, not to make a new categorical box to fit in.
the answer to "what is a qpr?" is "whatever you want it to be." sometimes that is romance lite. sometimes it's a deeply committed friendship. sometimes it's friends who have a sexual relationship. sometimes it's based on an entirely different mode of attraction. sometimes it's fluid and impossible to put into words. it's whatever you want it to be. it's queer.
can somebody tell me some more info about queerplatonic relationships as me and my friend are considering entering one and neither of us know much about it?????
i've never really understood what people meant when they said they find people "hot" or attractive. i've seen people as pretty and nice to look at, certainly, but i've never quite understood the concept of physical attraction. i <3 being in a QPR, though, those are wonderful.
How to ask someone to be your QPP
I’ve gotten a couple of communications about this, so I thought I’d try answering it directly here.
Much like how to ask someone to be in a romantic relationship, asking someone to be in a qpr (queerplatonic relationship) can be very personal and individualized.
A good place to start is by bringing up the concept of a qpr and discussing it with the person. They might know exactly what it is, or they might not know anything about it, or they might’ve heard of it but not know what it means to you (and honestly, what it means to you is going to be the most important).
When you’re talking about it, you can kind of gauge their reaction and see how they handle it. If they’re dismissive or uninterested, then you know it might not be safe or helpful to try to ask them to be in a qpr with you. If they’re respectful and want to know more, then it’s a great gateway to further discussion.
You might talk about popular depictions of qpr’s, or what you, personally, would want in a qpr, or the challenges and joys of being in multiple qpr’s or in a qpr and a romantic relationship, etc.
I’d recommend giving that some time to sit and kind of… settle in.
Then, if it has gone well so far, you can start a separate conversation about asking that person if they’d like to try building a qpr with you.
I think the phrasing here can be really important. Since some people define qpr’s as almost like romance-less and sex-less marriages, it could be considered a pretty serious thing to ask someone to be your qpr, almost like a platonic proposal. They might not be ready for that.
You could consider framing it more like “deepening the friendship” or even “try building a qpr” (as I phrased it above), which focuses more on the process and less on the final result.
This is a great time to strive for excellent communication, and talk about things like whether you’re on the same page about multiple qpr’s, or what you think/feel about how to handle if one or both you has romantic relationships, too. At some point, you’ll want to talk through your respective thoughts on things like the role of physical affection in your relationship, including whatever boundaries you have (or want to have). These kinds of conversations aren’t always easy, but they’re really important for healthy relationships of all kinds.
Followers, if you’ve asked someone to be your qpp, how did you do it? What are some helpful ways to approach this?
It takes everything in me to not write “cringy” fan fiction about me and my QPP because I want to read fan fiction, I am a fan of them and, my only fandom is big mouth (all sex stuff) or the burreau of magical things (Australian kids tv with a very small fan base)
Is this normal? Should I do it?
I miss bestie. They are the only person that would make my shit week any better :)
I get to see them tomorrow :)
@grey-loves-vikings
Our love can not be defined
The pull and push of labels used to explain
The feelings we have inside
The touch of our bodies
The spark created, ignited in our minds
The label of obscurities
Identities of loving
Loving you in ways that cannot be explained
With simple words of their life
We’re something else, but not new
We are not just friends, not dating, not lovers
We’re creating something true
I’m questioning their motives
Why do they hate me loving platonically?
Do they hate the way I live?
Do they hate the love we feel?
Joy we share? Trust we feel? That we can care
Do they think our love is not real?
@grey-loves-vikings DO NOT READ THIS (joking please do) it’s so cringe (cringe is dead) (also, lmk when you read because sending it to you was TOO MUCH)

My favourite colour is green…
Besties favourite colour is purple…
We were meant to be in a qpr
@grey-loves-vikings
Y’all!!!!!
IS THIS ROMANCE????
NO. THEY ARE IN A QPR!!!!!!!🩷💛🩶🤍🖤
What’s a qpr, you ask?
Idk
Aren’t you in a qpr, you ask?
Yes, I still don’t know…
(@grey-loves-dragons)
This is from a couple weeks ago but me and my bestie learnt to waltz!!!
We are basically married /j
@grey-loves-dragons
When you run a book club and there is three members (me, my bestie and one other person) but two of you work at the same spot and are besties so it’s just a constant state of a platonic date until the other mutual friend shows up.
Context:
-me and bestie are in a QPR
- other friend is usually a little late and me and bestie are both early (because we work there)
The difference between the “right” person and the right person
My ex bought me roses (I only like blue roses) after I begged them for a year and a half and they were basically dead (the fact that they were dead isn’t the problem, I very clearly said I wanted flowers)
My QPP pressed me a leaf from aers moms plant that I love because they knew I liked it
The right relationship isn’t always the romantic one
Me and bestie did so much cuddling this weekend
@grey-loves-dragons
Qpr‘s are different for everyone?
No, all Qpp want to have a wedding with a tub of Vaseline as the officient /j
I told my Christian friends about me and my qpr and it didn’t go horribly. They didn’t even say it was just besties!!!!
#Work song by hozier but platonically
I am (platonically) down bad for bestie.
I have done some thing. I have never done before.
Stopped watching YouTube, which I can’t watch in picture in picture to play a game with them and I’m not disappointed 
@grey-loves-dragons (love you bestie)
I miss bestie and I saw the 3 hours ago :(
Bestie made me a qpr bat. Don’t talk to me I’m too busy not crying out of happiness (I cried as soon as I was alone because it’s just so nice)
When you tell your therapist you’re in a qpr and her only question is “so are you Guy’s eventually going to move in together?”
When you work the same shift as your qpp and everything becomes a two person job
@grey-loves-dragons
