Self Acceptance - Blog Posts
Im still shaking, but i finally booked my first therapy session. After being intimidated by that for like multiple years, I finally took the first step.
I feel kinda hopeful for the first time in a long time.
This is your sign to step up for yourself <3
I love to see the ethereally gorgeous woman who lives inside the mirror; she tells me I'm just as lethally alluring and beautiful as the Moon, she tells me that she loves me, she tells me that I am kind, angelic, and strangely addicting to look at.
First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die
How you dying 👀
This post was truly profound, and something I think people of all walks in the kink community go through, not just Bimbos. As a sadistic dominant, I know that I had a similar journey of guilt at my "immoral" desires to hurt or humiliate people sexually, as the sexual repression slowly ate away at me psychologically. My logical / emotional mind was constantly at war with my sexual mind, and it is only recently that I feel I have begun to consolidate these two sides of myself.
The human experience is a complex and mysterious thing, but it is important to remember at the end of the day that we are all deserving of happiness, regardless of where we might need to go to find it; never be ashamed to be who you are.
So now being a bimbo, would you say that "bimbo is better" than non-bimbo? How so?
I’d have the world’s most hypocritical URL if I didn’t say that, huh? :)
Yes, bimbo is absolutely better!
(Warning: this answer is way too long, and I’m not going to bother editing it down to a length that’s reasonable. You’ve been warned!)
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Source: Instagram.com
Source: Instagram via Pinterest.com
10 Tips For Coping With Emotional Overwhelm as a Highly Sensitive Person
April 2, 2019
For the past five months (after the sudden loss of my partner), I have experienced an intense state of grief. Due to a variety of factors, I have actually been experiencing what is considered to be complicated grief as an already highly sensitive person (HSP).
This profound grief has been the most difficult and painful challenge of my life. Since my sensitivity is at an all time high, this experience has felt beyond the usual state of overwhelm I have been accustomed to.
At first, the grief and emotional overwhelm was debilitating. I was barely getting out of bed and basically losing my will to live even though I was not planning to die. I would go days without sleeping and was in shock. This may be a normal reaction to grief. However, experiencing this as an HSP can feel like the worst form of torture, especially being a highly romantic /sensitive soul. I knew I was desperate to seek peace and willing to do what it took to get out of my emotional rut. I knew that i couldn't keep living like that and I needed to heal and find coping strategies to gradually start living my life again.
Over the years, I have learned about a variety of healing methods and coping strategies. I have noticed incredible results from implimenting new coping tools, but my lack of consistency has often blocked my capacity to thrive.
The healing process has been gradual and I am still in the process of navigating my grief. However, I have found that implementing certain coping tools consistently has been an important factor in managing my emotions.
The following tips include some of the coping strategies I have used to aid in my healing process and manage my emotions more effectively...
1. Calming Activities
I know it is common knowledge to engage in calming activities when feeling overwhelmed, but I have noticed the difference when not practiced regularly. During my recovery, I have found it beneficial to regularly do activities such as deep breathing exercises, prayer, meditation, receiving massage work (can help release energy blocks and can promote relaxation).
2. Mindfulness/ Awareness
Because a vast amount of stimuli (both external and internal) can overstimulate an HSPs highly sensitive nervous system, HSPs can easily feel stuck in the mind/feelings and not present in the body and moment. I have noticed that consistent mindfulness practices and body awareness exercises have been a crucial aspect of my own personal healing and growth.
3. Reminders
Because practicing new behaviors may require a degree of focus and practice, it can be difficult for some people to follow through and form a new habit. I find it helpful to have reminders such as Sticky notes or an accountability partner to practice new habits. Being aware and reminded about healthier thinking patterns can also be helpful.
4. Self Care/Acceptance
I find that self care practices and acceptance of myself and the reality of a situation can be a key factor regarding emotional stability and life itself. Whether it's taking care of basic health or buying yourself a small gift, it can really make a difference! I am learning self acceptance and relinquishing self shame can take some work and time, but I lean toward the belief that it is worth it!
5. Support System
I don't know where I would be without a solid support system. Having a support network, whether it be a support group or getting professional help, it can help with healing, self isolation and help realize you are not alone. Many support groups or therapists may also suggest helpful coping strategies to help regulate ones emotions more effevtively.
6. Removing/Reducing Triggers
For the longest time, I subjected myself to various people, places, and things that triggered emotional overwhelm. Removing emotional or otherwise overwhelming triggers doesn't always mean completely avoiding all your triggers. It can sometimes be more about knowing ones triggers/feelings, self awareness, and responding in healthier or more tolerable ways (i.e. Limiting how much time you spend around a triggering person, place, or thing). Sometimes avoiding some situations all together is best though.
7. Boundaries
Reducing triggers and setting boundaries go hand in hand. I have learned that setting and enforcing boundaries for yourself is actually a very important and a way to love yourself! I think having internal as well as external boundaries is important to note. I plan on discussing more about boundaries in a future post.
8. Processing Feelings
I know processing emotions is not always fun and can be exhausting, but I have learned that feeling and expressing my emotions is an important element in healing emotions. While I don't believe one should torture themselves into an emotional rut, I have learned that sometimes, in order to release what is going on within a person's mind and body, it can be a relieving to release whatever built up emotions and tension one might be experiencing. Their are a variety of ways to express or relieve emotions. For some people that may include physical activities such as exercise. For others this may include expressing oneself through artistic endeavors such as painting, drawing, writing, or singing etc... Sometimes it can be a relief to talk it out with someone you trust or to have a good cry. I'm not suggesting getting stuck in feelings. It is more about acknowledging, feeling, validating, and releasing the feelings without getting attached to the the thoughts and feelings.
9. Retreating Alone
Because many HSPs can easily get overwhelmed by the massive amount stimuli in the world and in the mind, many HSPs tend to retreat alone to relax, energize, and sometimes even function in the world. While I believe HSPs need more alone time than most of the population, I have learned the importance of not isolating myself as well. Self isolation can lead to lonliness, more feelings of not belonging, and more emotional overwhelm.
10. Change Your Focus
Certain coping strategies such as meditating, changing perspectives, and replacing negative thinking with positive thinking can be beneficial for HSPs. I don't believe it changes the way you think over night but with a certain amount of practice and belief can make it easier. I also find it helpful to focus on some thing that can create joy or laughter. Seeking out inspiration has been helpful for me because I find that not only does it help me feel inspired but it has helped improve my mood, focus, and motivation.
This post is only a brief description about my struggle with emotional overwhelm and 10 tips that have helped me go from debilitating emotions to my current status. Although it hasn't been easy, I can honestly say that I am currently working full time, back in school taking more advanced classes, and persistently working on my revovery. The key has been faith, willingness, and consistency in my growth.
Hopefully these tips will be helpful in some way to others as well! Feel free to let me know in the comments what has helped you with emotional overwhelm or about your experiences. As always, thank you for taking the time to read my post!
With Love,
Dahlia
Picture Source: via Pinterest.com
Source: Pinterest.com
The fear that you feel
May seem surreal
But it ain’t quite real.
try not to keep beating yourself up over what your past self did. they didn’t know what you’ve learned now.
We are not, nor should we be, immutable.
All things change,
The seasons as the earth spins round the sun,
The wind as air heats and cools,
The symphony of sounds as day turns to night.
We are no different,
We can and should change,
And yet we rail against it.
We hold this notion that must alway know who we are and thus must never change,
Yet we still know the earth as the seasons change,
We still know the air as the winds change,
We still know the songs of day and night no matter how they change.
To know yourself does not mean you cannot change,
But simply that you must accept change knowing that regardless it is still you.
self improvement is insidious in that it could easily be "go, go, go" a vicious neverending cycle. much like perfection and the finish line that will always be moving as you approach it, always out of reach. you set goals, you achieve them, you raise the bar- when is it ever gonna be enough? you'll never be satisfied always striving, forever reaching. but happiness as we know is not a destination, it is available here and now. so is self acceptance. yes strive, yes work towards your goals but let it be from a place of self love. leave the self flagellation, the shoulds, the musts. you've gotta be enough for someone and who better than yourself! when are you gonna live and be present if you're an ongoing neverending project? self improve and still leave space for who you currently are. they deserve the kindness, the joy, the freedom you're denying them and saving for future you?
wear the clothes you wanna wear now even if you've not achieved your dream physique yet, just an example. in short do the thing you're waiting to do when you achieve whatever it is you've set your mind to.
they say not to borrow tomorrow's grief and imma say don't curtail today's joy waiting for tomorrow
sometimes it's hard to accept something you don't want to but trust me it will be better
picture's not mine
To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. When you are born a lotus flower, be a beautiful lotus flower, don't try to be a magnolia flower. If you crave acceptance and recognition and try to change yourself to fit what other people want you to be, you will suffer all your life. True happiness and true power lie in understanding yourself, accepting yourself, having confidence in yourself.
— Thích Nhất Hạnh
I'm back in fire fighting mode. This is the most stressful mindset to be in. Why is it comfortable? Why do I keep defaulting to this. This isn't healthy for me.
I scheduled a therapy session. I don't know what's wrong. I'm just tired of things being the way they are.
It’s not too late for you to start recovery! You have a whole community waiting to help you thrive. Reach out, you deserve to get better.
୨୧ dear diary #2: this is a reminder to build yourself from within first ୨୧
This is my second chapter of my journey towards self-improvement. In this chapter (and quite a few chapters thereafter), I will focus on how I can gradually change myself from within before I can demonstrate such matters through my actions. The ultimate goal I am striving for is to see a clear, positive evolution in my behavior and lifestyle. Only then can I truly become happy with myself and my…
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this is an article I wrote for Vocal.media, a lovely platform for blogging where writers like to unload their creative impetus. this one is about past experiences and personal flaws and how your shortcomings and limitations can serve as a design tool for your personality and life.
If it feels hard to compliment you own body, to say positive statements, then please appreciate your body for what it can do for you, and it can be something as simples as “it keeps me alive”. It’s hard to immediately stop saying negative things about ourselves, and it might feel strange saying very positive things to it. Try saying neutral things first, than maybe slowly you can find new positive things that don’t feel too outlandish because it feels “fake”. It’s something that takes time for us to assimilate and for us to finally become a little more comfortable with our bodies. They’re doing the best they can with the circumstances, they are trying to survive. And if that’s the only thing you can appreciate, that’s a start. Changing the way we speak to ourselves might be a slow thing to get used to, but it is worth for you to have some peace of mind, even if it feels odd to say it. The repetition will help too, and you’ll find it less and less strange with time. Please be patient with yourself.
If it feels hard to compliment you own body, to say positive statements, then please appreciate your body for what it can do for you, and it can be something as simples as “it keeps me alive”. It’s hard to immediately stop saying negative things about ourselves, and it might feel strange saying very positive things to it. Try saying neutral things first, than maybe slowly you can find new positive things that don’t feel too outlandish because it feels “fake”. It’s something that takes time for us to assimilate and for us to finally become a little more comfortable with our bodies. They’re doing the best they can with the circumstances, they are trying to survive. And if that’s the only thing you can appreciate, that’s a start. Changing the way we speak to ourselves might be a slow thing to get used to, but it is worth for you to have some peace of mind, even if it feels odd to say it. The repetition will help too, and you’ll find it less and less strange with time. Please be patient with yourself.
I think the goal is not to be perfect and try to change everything of us (or others too, as we project on them our "dark" sides) but to accept ourselves despite our imperfections and "flaws". No matter how much we try, we'll always end up doing or saying something that can be considered wrong or bad, even unconsciously. And that's completely okay. We interface with different people, and we cannot please everyone or we'll just go crazy. But we need to please ourselves and give us a break. Be kind with ourselves as we're just trying. Appreciate who we are, light and dark. We'll always make mistakes, we'll always make a wrong choice... Sure we can try to change what we really do not appreciate, the coping mechanisms that are hindering and making us suffer (the ones we're not even aware of), but we need to remember there's no recipe to be perfect as there's no real perfection. We can always try to be better but we cannot reach that perfection we aim to as it doesn't exist. We cannot be that to feel accepted and included, to feel seen and valued, to feel less alone: people change their mind as the wind anyway. But we can see all of who we are and welcome our darkest side and try to feel more content and... not make us feel alone by abandoning and neglecting a side of us that still exists and needs our love, even if we accuse it to not let us be accepted by others. Maybe if we accepted it, accepted our whole self, and knew us... maybe we'd feel less alone, more apt to see our light within without having to compare to others and more open to others too.
something I’ve realized recently is that I don’t actually want to hate myself it’s just something that has become involuntary, I hope that one day my mind won’t find it necessary to betray my body
you are amazing. spend less time around those who can’t see your worth.
Don’t Apologize...
for crying
for feeling sad
for expressing your emotions
for being different
for doing the things that make you happy
for making yourself a priority
for being you
you can’t change who you are, so why not love yourself :))