By @oioi_46

"One day I will get over them I swear"

*Looks at the 200+ open ao3 tabs*

i think my favorite thing about sterek is how much of a loser they both are. Like, think about it. Derek, practically a loner and not by choice, had to bite a bunch of teenagers to keep them around him. Stile’ best use to his “friends” is coming in handy for research before they inevitably ignore him again.

And they both just. think the other is the coolest person ever. Like holy shit, werewolf Derek is super strong and capable and never gets flustered the way stiles does. Or how stiles is fast as a whip, always saving the day without any type of supernatural ability. It’s like they were made for just each other?

They find each other always, look for each other in every danger, when no one else does. And yea, even when stiles and Lydia got super close or Derek had allies, they still kept the other in that special spot. Not too far but still in the back of their mind so someone can look out for them.

claudia being 14 feels unsatisfying compared to her being 6 until you’re an emotionally stunted 20 something year old who feels like she’s in a hurricane of turmoil and hormones that mirror what you’re supposed to feel during puberty and puberty alone… but it never ended.

you’re in a constant state of wanting more: more from your parents, more from your peers, more friends, more fucks, more to fuck. her being 14 seems too old, until you remember that at 14 you felt too young. this severed limb staring at you from the table in a limbo of confusion wondering, who’s limb it is? who do I belong to? a mature woman or a young child.

you insist you’re a woman, but everyone around you feels different. you insist you are old until you’re father yells at you again and now you’re just that little girl who he thought he put in her place already, but clearly you need reminding. claudia being 14 is how we feel when we grow up mentally but everyone around us keeps us as a still image in their head. that little girl they know that will never be grown enough for the world. and sometimes, you believe it, you perform it.

but I know different, I feel that raw anger no girl knows. the burning feeling that claws up your throat. the betrayal. the horniness. the euphoria. she was heartbreaking being stuck in the body of a 6 year old. but it’s equally and as intensely tragic being stuck at 14.

the wlw uniforms

ALSO DOES THIS NOT SEEM LIKE DEREK AND STILES TO YOU? IS THAT WHO I AM NOW? LIKE FROM COMFORT CHARACTER TO BECOMING HIM?

It’s like the yin to my yang.

it’s weird that when i was going through the worst shit of my life , i’d consume the most vile , disgusting , gorey media possible. it was almost like a comfort.

now it’s like i can’t even look at that shit without barfing , i feel proud of how far i came . almost fully normal

the thing about being replaced is it’s a feeling you deny up until it sits right in front of your face.

once things are clear- and you and everyone- comes to the understanding that someone else is receiving your affection, the moments already passed.

and it sucks.

a lot.

even when she deserves it because she really is that great and lovable.

she’s just better. she laughs louder, her cheeks tinge pink with it. when she does it, she turns towards you and places both hands on your forearm with a gentle grasp. you feel taken when all of her eyes and lips angle themselves towards your being. it makes your chest puff up in a proudness that only someone so great and lovable can make you do.

I’ve never been great or lovable.

I’ve always been told im too rough. my face gets serious in all the wrong moments, and i look at you with a tentative smile instead of something wide and so open to receiving anything you can give.

i have nothing to take. im so full of sadness, so tinged with blue. there’s no more marks on this canvas worth making. the picture so ugly and wide.

she’s a painting of a cloud, always pleasant to look at whether its at high morning or at sunset. all of her at any time is digestible.

and its so unfair, isn’t it? That we have the same colors and you just show them better, you just carry it lighter.

but you deserve that love, i swear it. you were born deserving, grew up deserving. so deserving no one told you different. no one beat you down to ensure you knew you were any less deserving. no one proved it to you the way they did with me.

so when i see you replaced me, I let the moment pass. i let the laughter wash the hurt right out of me.

wincestiel this, wincestiel that, but have you ever considered Dean using Castiel to get at Sam.

He goads him into his first kiss and uses his baby brother as a means for practice. I mean shit- Sammy can kiss, okay? He’s no virgin.

Cas is trusting, trusts no one but Dean so he lets himself be lured in. Thrusting his tongue into Sam’s small mouth under Deans heavy gaze. He gives them pointers here and there.

Sam’s neck is arched up all sexy. Moles and strain evident as its muscles move with his lips. Dean has to put his mouth on it. They’re all just fooling around, it’s nothing weird. Think of it as a little added fun.

Suddenly it’s Deans tongue in sam’s mouth as he lays it all on him and they’re horizontal on the bed. Humping at each other like dogs. Fucking each other everywhere, especially brain-wise.

They come up for air and Cas isn’t even in the room anymore. It’s just heavy panting and belt buckles clinking as they pack up their spent dicks.

It’s another motel the next time it happens, and it’s just the two of them.

Sterek but they’re in high school together AU ♡