What do you do when you don't feel like a person anymore? When all you feel like is an extension to everybody else's life? I like being needed most of the times, but I absolutely hate it in moments when I stop feeling like a fucking valid person anymore, when being needed absolutely fucks up with my personal progress, be it academic, psychological, physical or emotional. When people who need my help feel entitled to it and I feel too exhausted to even defend myself on that stand, when all I want to do is cry about it.
I thought I didn’t have RSD until it was pointed out to me that I take things like a personal attack and that I’m super emotional. So I researched it again through this lens. This happened just a few days ago and now I can’t unsee it.
Unpacking my own neurodiversity is weird, even after all these years.
not saying this to make yall feel bad AT ALL btw but deciding to write fic when u have crippling RSD is insane 💀 cuz tbh i can deny it as much as i want n keep saying i jus write fic for myself and idrc what people think of it or how many hits/comments it gets but fr when my inbox is emptier and drier than the centre of australia i fr never wanna write again 😭 again not tryna make anyone feel bad but i wanted to jus be honest for a sec lol bc it feels superficial af but- anyone relate??