Listen, you know why Andrew loves Neil? Why Neil Abram Josten was the one Andrew would allow into his inner space, to allow growing roots where Andrew keeps the remaining fragments of his heart?
Because hardly anyone respects Andrew's boundaries. Renee does. Bee does. Wymack does. Andrew respects his own boundaries to the point of enforcing them at knife point.
But Neil? Neil Abram Josten?
He views Andrew's boundaries as sacred.
Renee, Bee, and Wymack would view crossing Andrew's boundaries as disrespectful at best and a violation at worst. They earned his trust that way.
But NEIL???
Neil views crossing Andrew's boundaries as a fucking sin. As blasphemous. A devoted disciple would sooner spit in their God's face than Neil ever conceiving of crossing Andrew's boundaries.
Some people would look at you erecting brick walls covered in barbed wire and would start looking for a good crack to aim a sledgehammer. Some people would watch you lock a door and try knocking, just once, to see if you'll open it for them. And some people would watch you draw a line in the sand and never dream of stepping over it.
Neil parked his ass on the other side of Andrew's barbed wired multi-layered brick wall surrounding his concrete bunker and stayed there, running his mouth. And when Andrew revealed the hidden door, Neil smiled, stayed put, and kept talking.
Andrew didn't fall for Neil because Neil wouldn't come in.
He fell because Neil waited for Andrew to come out, waited for Andrew to extend his hand, and waited for Andrew to lead him inside by his own volition.
And that's why Neil was the one who earned Andrew's "Stay".
oh? my? god? this is incredible
I’m not entirely sure where I’m going with this, but I really want to talk about how the upperclassmen and the monsters mirror each other. How each member of the monsters has a counterpart in the upperclassmen, someone with a similar backstory and similar motivations and goals, but with certain crucial differences that serve to highlight all the character development that happens throughout the books.
For instance, there’s Andrew and Renee: both foster children with harsh pasts who murdered and feel no remorse for it, but forced to face the consequences regardless. Andrew is left with a brother who can’t forgive him; Renee has to deal with the knowledge that she’ll never be the good person she wants to be. They have the same fighting style - defensive, reactive, but knowing that the only way to win is to stop your opponent from ever hurting you again; they both play goalie because they’re both best when they stand at everyone else’s backs and prevent anything from getting past them. There’s a reason Andrew charges Renee with protecting her half of the team, and not Dan, the official leader; where Dan is focused on moving forward and charging down the opposition, Renee and Andrew are about making sure everyone under their wing survives.
Then there’s Dan and Kevin, the team leaders (one official, one unofficial), a striker and an offensive dealer/occasional striker sub, #1 and #2. They’ve both been pushed down and shoved aside, marked as second-best or second-rate, and they both refuse to let that stop them. They both fight because they don’t know how to lose, because they can’t know how to lose, and they expect the same from everybody else. Kevin won’t accept anything but the best because that’s what he’s been taught, that’s the only way he knows how to live; Dan knows that anything less than perfection gives everyone else the right to stomp all over you, and is determined to never let that happen again. (And then there’s the fact that they both see Wymack as a father).
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ik this is prob obvious but I'm putting it out there anyway bc I randomly got reminded of it
INDEPENDENCE & SELF SUFFICIENCY
Andrew spent all the money from Tilda's death on that car BECAUSE he didn't need the car - he wasn't gonna go pay college fees or groceries or whatever bc he didn't need Tilda to survive - he didn't need her while she was alive and he didn't need her now, he could support himself. So of course he wasn't going to use the money from her to buy essential things - he bought that ridiculously expensive car solely because he did not need it and he wanted the money gone.
Nicky jokingly mentions that the car is the reason they're poor, but Andrew wouldn't want Tilda to be the reason they're stable - they can take care of themselves. That money was never going to be used for things they needed, so he blew it on the car