But I'm Not Sure - Blog Posts

I caught you thinking about it again.

You want to constellate the stars,

set the moon in the sky

and the rain just above your shell.

Did you know snails can write, too?

 Apparently words can be slower to trace

when you are so glued

Have you ever found a writing or a drawing you don't remember making? Well I found a poem written two years ago that I must've left as a draft. I don't know how it was supposed to end, what the meaning was supposed to be, the person (or thing?) I'm adressing, or even the theme. I don't know how to feel about this ngl.

Sex is weird for me. I talk about it and read about it. Me and my friends talked real fucking much about sucking dick for being 13 & never having kissed anyone back in middle school. We still talk about sex a lot and joke about it.

People are hot and attractive but I haven't really looked at a person and thought "yeah I wanna fuck them". I don't like looking at naked people in a sexual context and touching people who I haven't known for at least 1 year is odd. Reading smut has pretty much been the only thing thay makes me horny. Every time I see porn in some form I think "that's a good drawing! really amazing!" or "that's cool, but how do you breathe in that, how is that done" or something.

This is rambling and not going anywhere but I just feel weird. My friend recently got a boyfriend so now our group talks about sex not in the "saw this last week" or "found out this is a kink, what're your thoughts" way in the same way anymore. It's just got me thinking about it all more.

Idk I just feel weird and don't know how to feel about sex or articulate it in the right way ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i did some studies today, trying to get better at painting so that i feel less intimidated trying it out on a canvas someday XD

top two are references from google and the third bottom one is from my camera roll

i made it using krita, and i think i downloaded it in a way that came out more desaturated?? idk, all i know is that i edited it on my phone instead of trying to figure out what was wrong