Guide - Blog Posts

angie’s super important and somewhat half-assed guide to basic BDSM knowledge

for cutesymichael, or anyone else who wants to write a BDSM relationship but is unsure of important dynamics. 

BDSM is an acronym, a shortened version of BD/DS/SM. This stands for Bondage & Discipline, Domination & Submission, and Sadism & Masochism. 

Here’s a really good guide to BDSM if you’re looking for a quick but in depth read. Wikipedia also has a lot of really good information on it. Video Guide

What is BDSM and Its History?

Why 50 Shades is An Inaccurate Portrayal

Safe, Sane, and Consensual

Safe Words

Terminology for Beginners

Terminology Glossary

Beginners Tips for BDSM

Why BDSM Is Not The Same As Abuse/DV

Manners & Etiquette

Limits

What is Collaring?

How To Be a Dominant

The Eight Types of Domination

How To Be a Good Submissive // and here

Submissive vs. Slave vs. Pet

I’m a Submissive: So What Is My Worth?

Top vs. Bottom vs. Switch

What Is Total Power Exchange?

Subspace

What The Heck Is Subdrop?

Topspace/Domspace

What The Heck Is Domdrop/Top Guilt?

AFTERCARE

Hang On, There’s TYPES of Aftercare?

What Is A Mentor And Why Do I Need One?

Negotiation of a Scene

What is a “Scene” & How Do I Plan One?

Types of Play

Spanking 101

Flogging 101 // (techniques) // (demonstration)

Rope Basics

Dungeon Etiquette and Play Parties

How to Approach a Dom

BDSM In Long Term Relationships/Marriage

Nonverbal communication of a semiverbal human:

Thanks: asl open-palmed gesture, mouth to other hand (or a nod with a closed eye smile)

Help: wide intense eye contact and emphatic gesturing. Rigid movements

Happy: silly facial expressions, The Fangirl Gesture, wiggly squidward arms, relaxed posture

Anxious: repetitive cyclical motions in hands, arms, face, and feet. Pinched mouth, tension, squishing self into small space, rocking on balls of feet, tapping teeth together, shaking out hands

Sad: slow movement, quiet, rubbing hands or arms or neck. Zoned out, sighing

Anger: rubbing palms with thumbs aggressively, clenched jaw, avoidance, scratching forearms or legs, tugging on own hair, furrowed brows, no eye contact at all, hiding, leaving

Care abt u: buying things u spoke of, pebbling, talking to you often as manageable, sitting with you doing nothing, sitting with you when choice seating, bonking head into your shoulder/ upper arm, smiling at u upon eye contact when first seeing, looking into things u spoke of, trying to figure out how to resolve your problems, inviting you to adventure, showing you creations, sharing special interest

Need comfort/support: Sudden head/shoulder leaning into your shoulder or back, standing slightly to the side and behind you, dramatic groan and flop onto a surface, shoving self into small space or burying self in smth heavy

Don’t Like/ uncomfy w/ You: avoid you, only act cold/professional with you, intense eye contact, only ever American Stranger Smiles at you, doesn’t perpetuate conversation

UMBURGRR!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE DRAW A DOODLE OF RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS AND MY LIFE, IS YOURS.

OKAY but fr though your art is so MAJESTIC!!!!???!! I swear it has this aura that makes it so compelling, the way you color and render makes all of your works so appealing to the eye and your style is genuinely just AMAZING!!!!!! (if you don’t mind, what art program and brushes do you use??) anyways sorry for talking so much THANK YOU SO MUCH AND HAVE A GREAT REST OF YOUR DAY!!!!!!

GIGGLING right now you're too kind 😭❤️ but honestly, thank you so much it means so much to me (i cry) and ofc! here's my brushes, program, and process 😎 (ft. mr riddle rosehearts)

For my art program I use procreate with a canvas of 300 dpi and for brushes I use kraymer's hard brushes on gumroad !!

Anndd here's how I apply them:

tips for classics majors

from a second-year classics major. i’ve acquired these tips from my seven years of being a latin student and one year of ancient greek. 

this post can be helpful for classics majors or people interested in self-teaching the classics. my concentration within my major is language and literature, so my tips will revolve around latin and greek. but if you’re studying any other ancient or modern language, my tips may still apply to you :)

~ make word associations. this is a BIG one. there are many nuances to this tip, so to start, i’ll explain why associations are useful, and then i’ll give several examples with different variations to cover the nuances. 

since many english words, prefixes, and suffixes are derived from both latin and greek, take the time to figure out one or two english words that come from each new word you learn - these can either be normal everyday english words or pop culture references. (also, latin is semi-derived from greek, so you can make associations between the two languages as well). if you learn any kind of word association, it will make remembering the word so much easier.

examples: 

pop culture: pane, which means bread in latin, is related to The Hunger Game’s city of Panem (panem is the accusative singular of pane). food insecurity is a big theme in The Hunger Games, therefore Panem is an appropriate name for the city that the series takes place in. 

latin/greek to english: in latin, vicina is an adjective meaning “close, neighboring,” and its english derivative is “vicinity.” in greek, παιδευω means “i teach” and its english derivative is “pedagogy” - aka “a method/practice of teaching.” κριτης means “judge” and its english derivatives are “critic, criticize” and “critical.” 

greek to latin to greek: sometimes it’s tricky to find out which word came from which language first, but usually it’s greek to latin. example: dea (“goddess” in latin) comes from θεα in greek.

think of those word associations as you learn your ancient language vocab. it will make recalling a word’s meaning so much easier. 

anD DON’T FORGET TO LEARN THE GENDER AND THE GENITIVE SINGULAR OF EACH NOUN YOU LEARN BECAUSE IT HELPS WHEN DECLINING THE NOUN AND MATCHING IT UP WITH ADJECTIVES LATER ON OH MY GOD thiS IS SO IMPORTANT

~ make a concentrated effort to remember lots of different sentence constructions. there are so many i literally don’t remember them all and i’ve been doing this for years. the major categories i can think of off the top of my head are subordinate clauses, conditionals, and indirect discourse, and, more generally, learn the difference between the primary and secondary verb tenses.

~ every so often, brush up on as much grammar and vocab as you can. i’m saying this because i’ve procrastinated reviewing greek all summer and i barely remember anything beyond the basics :/ pls don’t tell my professor. 

~ learn authors’ common themes and literary/rhetorical devices. for example: in the elegies of propertius, a roman poet, he used emptiness and unfulfilled wishes as motifs. learning words associated with emptiness and learning how to recognize the introduction of a wish made translating faster. i’ll confess though that i never really brushed up on the use of the optative subjunctive (the device used in wish statements), so i couldn’t recognize how exactly to translate certain sentence constructions. if i did review, it would have made translating in class a breeze. but hey, it was my first semester in college and i had no idea what i was doing at that level. please learn from my mistake! 

~ learn the political, cultural, and historical context of each piece of literature you read. it will make the experience richer. if you know the context of a fiction piece, whether its poetry or prose, you will understand so much more about it. for example: the aeneid, vergil’s masterpiece (and arguably one of the best works in latin literature), is an ode to augustus. augustus commissioned vergil to write the aeneid and to make comparisons between himself and the protagonist aeneas. he wanted people to see him like they saw aeneas - kind, pious, loyal, determined, and in charge. knowing that bit of information makes many parts of the aeneid clearer. you can apply this tip to any piece of literature, no matter the language.

this is also important in terms of non-fiction writing. i took a class on roman letter writers and i would’ve been completely lost if my professor didn’t share anything historical with us. these letter writers typically vaguely referenced local gossip because messengers often read letters that were meant only for the recipient’s eyes. my professor filled in a lot of what was missing from the letters themselves.

~ have fun with it. learning languages is supposed to be fun!! of course languages enrich your mind and bring you into close contact with other cultures and ways of life, but it is supposed to be fun too. example: propertius once wrote a whole poem about knocking on his lover Cynthia’s closed door while she sat inside… and the door was a metaphor for her vagina…. which means propertius was h0rny on main!! and he published that in a poem!!1! for people all over rome to read!!!! 

in terms of plays, my friend read one in latin by plautus about a prostitute who subverts the traditional roles associated with customer-prostitute relationships. he absolutely loved it bc the main character was a bad b!tch… and bc it was a comedic play. 

there are lots of metaphors and jokes written within latin and greek literature, so don’t be afraid to laugh :) it makes learning that much more enjoyable

~ when reading a work of literature, ask yourself what this reveals about the author’s culture. (suicide tw: mentions of su*cide as a plot point in tragedy) this tip is kinda related to the cultural context one, but different in that it looks for culture within literature, rather than looking at literature as a product of culture. and like the previous tip, you can apply this to any piece of literature no matter the language it is in. it’s important to think deeply a piece of literature as well as enjoy it for what it is. example: i’ve read most of sophocles’ plays and i can tell you that the greeks were very comfortable with suicide as a plot point. while murder is also common, suicide is much more common no matter the tragedy. the fact that this theme occurs throughout so many plays tells me that greeks viewed suicide as a tragic occurrence that affects people deeply, but also as a common way to die. it raises questions: what percentage of deaths were attributed to suicide in ancient greece? was it viewed as honorable or shameful? etc. 

and going back to vergil yet again (he’s my homeboy fr), when writing about dido and her people building the city of carthage, he specifically mentions that they are building the theaters first before almost any other building - and these few lines implicitly state that the arts were very important to carthage’s culture as a whole.

~ to sum it up: as a classics major, if you are intentional about learning the languages and truly engaged with the literature, the process will be that much more fun and you will gain that much more out of it. (<- and that sentence has a future-more-vivid construction by the way hehe)

how i use notion #1: mega assignment list

i promised i would update this from last year, and decided to do a walkthrough for @sleepanon!

i’ve taken my school bujo-ing digital for the past year, so i’m going to create a mini-series of how i’ve tinkered with notion to make it work for me! there’s a fair learning curve to it, so my inbox is open for questions if you have any from my posts (not notion in general. ..i’m not an expert lol).

step 1: start a new page! under database, select table

step 2: rename the labels to assignments and class (leave Files alone) for now. you can also title the page and add icons/covers

step 3: select the files label, then under ‘property type’ change it to ‘date’ (this is for deadlines–i start with my official syllabus dates)

ALSO a part of step 3, but after changing to the deadline property, add another one! click that next label, and follow the same menu as above, but select checkbox to give you an option to ‘complete’ your tasks:

step 4: in the ‘class’ row (the first blank after the label), type in a course name to create a tag. once you do so, you can select the tag to edit it or change colors // you can repeat this step as many times as you need to for your assignments. i like to do my entire semester at once since i work ahead of the syllabus, but it might be good to take it month by month!

step 5: now, let’s add the calendar view. on the lefthand side, ‘add view’, name it, then select calendar (not just highlight like me, but click it!)

step 6: you should now see your assignments on the calendar. on the right side (top) of the calendar, click ‘properties’ and turn everything on!

you can also filter the calendar to only show completed/non completed tasks or by class:

and you can click on any assignment to open it, and add further properties:

again, if you have any questions about this, please let me know! 

This turned into a longer post than I anticipated but whatever.

Something I've been seeing quite often in the comments under helicopter posts that make it to the broader internet spaces is discussions on autorotation. These discussions are mostly incomplete information at best and outright wrong at worst. A lot of people seem to be able to recall it as a fact about how helicopters can glide to a safe landing, but aren't aware of the actual process. So here's a guide on what an autorotation is, how its performed, and some of the nuances to it.

For the uninitiated, an autorotation is a maneuver that every helicopter is capable of performing which allows it to land safely in the event of a power failure. Even more simply put - its how a helicopter glides.

I've already made previous posts about helicopter controls and some principles of flight which I recommend checking out first if you're unfamiliar with those.

Under normal flight the engine(s) drive the rotors at a constant flight rpm and all control is made by pitching (changing the angle) The blades to make more or less lift. Essentially the same process as sticking your hand out the window of a moving car and making rise or fall in the wind. However the rotors are experiencing a lot of drag (wind resistance) which requires the engine to produce a lot of power to overcome and maintain rpm.

When an engine failure occurs there is no more power driving the rotors and the high drag will cause the rotor rpm to start to decay rapidly. If nothing is done about that then the rpm will fall so low that the rotors will stall or worse and the helicopter will fall out of the air like a rock. Thankfully we have the option to autorotate instead of that outcome.

The first thing that happens to initiate an autorotation is to fully lower the collective. This will flatten out the blade pitch and minimize the drag on the main rotor, slowing the rpm decay. As the collective is lowered the cyclic will need to come aft slightly to prevent the nose from dropping. Also the right pedal will have been pushed in as the power failure initially occured to prevent yawing.

Now the helicopter is in a steep descent and the autorotation has begun. The airflow through the main rotor has reversed from normal flight. Instead of being drawn from above and expelled downward there is a diagonally upward flow of air through the main rotor.

Now the rotor rpm will begin to rise again thanks to the special design of the rotor blades. A rotor blade has an airfoil shape which is sort of like an elongated teardrop with the wider end on the leading edge. This shape minimizes drag and maximizes lift. But the blade is also slightly twisted. It has a positive pitch at the root where the blade attaches to the rotor hub which gradually transitions to a negative pitch at the tip.

Because of this twist and the difference in relative speed along the blade length (tip travels relatively faster than the root) the blades will develop three distinct regions. These are the driven, driving, and stall regions

The driven and stall regions at the blade tip and root are still producing drag but the middle driving region is actually producing lift, in an upward and slightly forward direction. This forward lift is the thrust that causes the rotor rpm to increase during an autorotation.

So now you are in a descent and recovering rpm back to the normal flight range. If you leave the collective fully lowered the rpm will now start to increase past the normal range and begin to overspeed. If the overspeed becomes too great the blades will be damaged and one could eject. Not ideal.

You have to manage the rpm manually to prevent it from becoming too low or too high. You also do this with the collective. Remember, to start the auto you should lower the collective fully to minimize rpm loss initially and then to start recovering it. As the rpm reaches the normal range the collective should be raised again just a bit to "catch" the rpm. Now you can manually adjust rpm with a tiny amount of collective movement. Rpms a little too fast? Raise it a bit. A little too slow? Lower it a bit. What this is doing is changing the size of the driven and driving regions of the blade, thanks to the twist. Lowering the collective grows the driving region and shrinks the driven region, and vice versa for raising it.

Now the helicopter is safely gliding and can be steered to a landing spot. There's not much to do until you're approaching the ground. The next maneuver will be the level and flare. The height at which you initiate the level and flare depends on the helicopter. Generally a larger helicopter will have more momentum and need to start the maneuver sooner.

Starting with the level off. You will be gliding with a high rate of descent and forward speed in an autorotation. The purpose of the level off is to drastically reduce the rate of descent. By using some aft cyclic input you will pull the nose up and put the helicopter in a level flight attitude. This causes the upwards lift of the rotor disc to act as a sort of parachute and arrest the descent.

Now with the descent rate minimal you apply more aft cyclic to pitch the nose up further and neutralize the forward speed. This is the flare and its the last opportunity to build rotor rpm in an autorotation.

Now you are just over the ground with little to no forward speed and the helicopter will start to settle and sink. Apply forward cyclic to level the helicopter parallel with the ground and use the pedals to keep the nose pointed straight ahead. Then you have whatever rpm is built up to cushion the landing. Smoothly raise the collective fully as the helicopter sinks to touchdown and the landing can be shockingly smooth.

What an autorotation really comes down to is energy. You often start at a high-ish altitude with some forward speed and this becomes the potential and kinetic energy you trade to power the rotors instead of the engine. The energy is an absolute requirement though. If you dont have enough of a combination of speed and/or altitude then an autorotation can be impossible. There are phases of flight and certain missions where you have to accept the risk of a power failure and rely on the crash-worthiness of the airframe.

Despite that, I've done a lot of engine failure procedures in small planes and helicopters and 9 times out of 10 I would rather experience a real one in a helicopter.

beginner guide to climb Kilimanjaro http://www.kili-tanzanitesafaris.com/apps/forums/topics/show/13444190-mountain-climbing-beginners-guide-travel-tips-kili?page=last

the Whole30 Survival Guide

Holiday Gift Guide GelPro Plush Mat

The Ultimate Guide to Hosting an Afternoon Tea 🍰🫖🌸

Thank you! Is it okay if you could give me a bit of advice? I think I want to take the suggestions I’ve read on free styling for more of a spoiled girlfriend route instead of being a sugar baby but I’m going to start free styling this weekend and I wanted to know if you had any other important suggestions you would like to offer.

Note: I want to add that this person sent me a personal message (before sending me this ask) so I will be a addressing a few things that weren’t included in the ask.  

My biggest suggestion to you is to remember that free-styling is usually a numbers game. You may not hit it big on your first day/night out so don’t give up on your first try. The first few times you’re out free-styling is really just about you getting use to it and getting comfortable with talking to men. A lot of girls give up on free styling too soon because they didn’t reap any rewards the first or second time they tried. DON’T BE THAT GIRL. Don’t give up on it.  

Now onto my suggestions:  

Plan ahead. Pick out the places you’re going to visit ahead of time (don’t wait until Thursday night to start looking). I like to pick out a few places to go to that are all close to one another or a place that may have multiple bars/lounges/etc. That way if one place is dead (or I need to get away from a man) my entire night isn’t a total bust because I have multiple places/areas to go to.  

Be sure to look at the photos (my favorite place to do this is Yelp because people aren’t trying to stunt on Yelp like they do on IG lol) get an idea of the kind men that frequent this establishment (look at how they’re dressed). You may also get an idea of the attire you should be wearing (if you were unsure).  

A quick note on attire: I personally like to dress a bit more on the “conservative” side when I free-style; instead of a mini skirt, it’s knee length, makeup may be the “bombshell” look (especially if I’m going out at night), but it’s done in more neutral colors, etc.  

Look at the menu. Aim for places that are $$$ or $$$$ on Yelp, Open Table, TripAdvisor. Even better is to look for places that are recommended for business travelers (if that’s your type). Knowing what you’re going to order ahead of time also makes things easier (I’m one of those people that will read the entire menu 3 days before I go lol).  

Have some money with you. Enough to at least buy yourself 2 drinks and a tip. Hopefully you won’t need it, but you never know. Sometimes it’s a slow night, and this is just my personal opinion but I feel like if you’re sitting at a bar with a glass of water or club soda and lime, it’s a tell-tale sign to a trained eye that says “I have no money and I’m waiting on someone to buy me a drink.”  

Be nice to bartender/waitress. Make some small talk during the “down” times when you don’t have any POTS to talk to. The bartender/waitress may end up being your best resource when it comes to free styling. Remember, they work here and they know everyone that comes here. And when they see a pretty woman sitting at the bar they’re already halfway assuming that you’re there to catch a man with money. And in this case, the stereotype works in our favor. Usually if you’re nice to them (and tip them well) they’ll be nice to you and “tip” you well. They’ll let you know the best day to do your “hunting” and they’ll let you know who you should avoid and you should chat up.  

Also, know when to leave the bar/lounge/lobby. Sometimes it’s just a bad night. Maybe the bartender is being an ass or you’re not meeting any POTs. Pay for your drink and just try another place. Don’t feel like you’re stuck to one place just because it was your first choice.  

Now, I know that you were nervous about what to actually say so I’m going to make another post about what to do once you’ve gotten a guy’s attention!  

Hoes, please stop buying the same AP and HB sets as eachother then shooting with the same photographers with the same concepts and eerily similar captions... it's overdone😅

I've got recs for similarly priced lingerie brands that are way better, quality and design wise, and less circulated on heaux-twitter

For captions, watch a movie, series, or read a book and stop using the same (overused) Charles Bukowski, Pablo Neruda, Pablo Picasso, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Coco Chanel, etc. quotes... same goes for wearing a powersuit and captioning "Ms. (blank) will see you now😀

Sugaring the smart way

My main advice for SBs is have clear and concise financial goals and budget. I’m my opinion there’s no point to sugaring if you don’t have specific financial motivations/goals you’re working towards.

Some examples are:

Paying off student loans

Paying off all debt

Start a business

Travel frequently

Pay rent off for the year

Buy a new car

Get nails done every 3 weeks and hair every month

I write out my financial goals and put an actual cash value to them. I take that add it up and divide that by when I want to accomplish these financial goals. That is how I determine what allowance I need per month.

I also separate my goals into categories. Like expenses, entertainment, 2020 goals, etc. in order to prioritize what I want to accomplish first

Below is a list of some (not all) of my goals and expenses

So in order for me to accomplish my 2020 goals, have my monthly expenses and non essential expenses paid I need to get around $8,500 a month. This helps me determine what monthly allowance I’m willing to accept

In my opinion, if you write down goals and budget it not only a reminder of what you want to accomplish but is a useful tool in determining allowance needs and expectations