Individuality - Blog Posts
This has me in tears every time I see it. Idk why but it just hits me so damn hard, everyone should see this.
THE WHITE DOE
The white doe, surrounded only by the darkness. It's not even darkness, it's just the stark contrast of difference her skin makes to the naked eye. A pure being, probably being watched by the shadows lurking in the darkness. She wouldn't bat an eye. She knew it all too well, that when you shine so bright envy will strike.
She didn't protect herself. She knew it would be pointless. Instead she lied down into the cold comfort of the ground beneath her hooves.
Her old friend, the ground, the dirt and the grass. The only thing she long knew. She knew the sounds the ground would make when she walked, trotted or ran. The way the sound would bounce off between her hooves and the solid ground.
The sound that let her determine weather she was going in the right way or not.
For she was blind.
The only purity in the whole forest and she couldn't see it herself. It only made sense to me as I observed her. She wasn't scared.
She was used to this life. Being blind, being pure yet untouchable.
But we both knew it wouldn't last long. I could see them, she could hear them. No matter how fast she would be she didn't have the energy to run.
I sat there and watched as her head softly rested on the ground. She gave up. It was a long run. I've watched her for awhile and I've noticed she was aware of my presence.
We never spoke yet we went on so many advantures together. I could say I learned from her. Watching her graceful, fast steps. Her purity and kindness. She inspired me.
Because of her I'm kind today, kinder to myself.
Now I have to watch her die.
Could I save her? No, I couldn't.
Because I am one of them. The one she gave up from.
She changed my mind, I was hesitant to do anything to her. She was so beautiful.
On the other hand, my kind striked the moment her head laid down. It was over for her.
I saw her pale white skin turn to a nice shade of black as each one of them bit into her, consuming her, changing her. She became something I am, something I was always afraid of and something I secretly disliked.
Her eyes gained color and she gained sight. It was painful, but only for a short while, I promise.
I heard her screams no matter how much she tried to stay silent and not care about the pain. I saw those beautiful tears that quickly changed their color to a darker shade.
She was consumed completely.
I stepped out of my shadow, in shame, walking to her. It was time to meet my hero. I knew it was her. She changed but it's still her, I hoped.
That hope died quickly. She wasn't herself anymore. We ruined her. I ruined her.
She stood up and took a good look at us. Dark skin, short white tails and antlers as big as the sky.
I could see the confusion on her face.
Why would her own kind consume her?
It's really hard to understand what is and isn't bodily autonomy when it comes to social pressures. Do people want to alter their bodies or are they being pressured into it... but really, there is no such thing as an authentic individual self that can make these decisions free of pressure. We are social pressure, it's part of us just like our bodies
I think as a community we should all stop the concept of aesthetic because its ruining our lives and im sick of having fun with someone and they go like 'let me just take a pic of this to post on my story'.. like.. okay? Also i went through so many 'aesthetics' and found out how limiting they are! Lemme just read this shakespeare teathrical piece while listening to slipknot and wearing my pink dress <3
“Listen to people who know more than you do. Then do it your own way.”
— Alan Parker
The many faces of loss
I always get so grumbly with humans that think loss is a simple thing. A death, job change, relationship end, and many other forms of loss can have lasting, and often hidden (even to the one dealing with it) effects. So many people focus on the short term handling of the loss, or the lingering obvious issues and seem to think they know how the person should or shouldn't be acting. It's complete ridiculousness. NOBODY has ANY right to tell ANYONE how they should feel, or how the loss impacts them in their own realities. EVERY SINGLE CREATURE deals with each loss in their own ways. Some of the effects can be dealt with quickly and easily, some make permanent changes and will never be fully understood. NEVER.... EVER... let ANYONE tell you that you are somehow broken, or messed up, for how a loss impacts your own thoughts. Those who are trying to help will usually offer support, reassurance, patience, and space. If the person you think is there to help is pressuring you, making you feel like something is wrong with you, or is irritated by how things are effecting you... they are clearly NOT as helpful as they want to believe they are. If someone doesn't understand and is a bit inconvenienced because of your handling of a loss, that... is completely understandable... BUT... if they allow that to become an attitude towards you... THEY are the ones with a problem... NOT YOU! This human experience does not come with complete and foolproof instructions. We each have to figure things out in our own ways, no matter how many others try to tell us they have all the answers. So, if you're out there, and you're dealing with something, and you're feeling a bit beaten.... just remember.... you got this. There are those of us out there that understand it's complicated, it takes time, and USUALLY it's a lot more messy than anyone cares to admit. Just keep picking at it. You'll get where you need to be with it, if you really want to. Believe. ... Much love.
《¤》●This is it, whatever it is that's hard for you to let go, your missed opportunities, people you had to let go of when you were in love, toxicities, your failures, things that killed you, it all starts and ends here. Nothing matters as our cycle of humanity is locked inside terrestrially and there are things far beyond the galaxies, lightyears and our sight. Clusters of stars miles and miles away from this Earth, where you die with your heartaches.
● What you gained or missed, nothing matters. You end here where you started from, but there are things far beyond this place, too massive for us that we're merely existent, too dark to be explained, bodies of questions where nothing about us matters.
● For a moth born in a jar, the roof of the jar is everything it knows and fears to cross, and an illusion of truth. 《¤》●
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was the final book of the series, creating a different and more pronounced impact than probably all but Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. It was also different for me than the rest of the series as it was the only book I got at midnight, it was the only book (I ever) jumped ahead with—seeing that at the end “All was well” and that this was the only book I read after the movies, having been dismayed by the 4th movie, I didn’t read it for almost 8 years. Reading the book then I was an adult and not a pre-teen or teenager and it, therefore, has a separate place in my heart and in my mind even though I read it after just rereading the entire series. The fact that Deathly Hallows all fits in one book is majesty itself, so much explained and told but not overwhelming.
One of the main themes through the series and highlighted in the Deathly Hallows is how much Harry has to due by himself and how much of the burden he can share with others. As we have grown up with Harry, Ron and Hermione we experience this as well albeit with less dramatic stakes. This is true in both the physical battles of the Seven Potters and the Battle of Hogwarts, but also just in terms of Harry leaning on Hermione and Ron in trying to figure things out but in other times letting them take charge while he rests or sometimes becomes distracted by the Deathly Hallows and not the task at hand: finding and destroying the Horcruxes and also when they all joke around, comforting each other and themselves. This is also true emotionally, in the way we can best understand when Harry leans on Hermione and Luna while burying Dobby.
Another theme throughout the Deathly Hallows is how complicated relationships and individuals can be. Looking past Ron and Hermione and Harry, I mean Harry and Dudley, Draco Malfoy and Xenophilius Lovegood. For Harry and Dudley it happens for both of them; while Harry despises them, he makes sure they’re safe and while the Dursleys have always had disdain and repulsion for Harry, Dudley is worried and angry that they’re not sticking together and helping him, and we know Petunia’s recognition of the final loss of her sister shocks and somewhat destroys her. With Draco, as we saw in the Half-Blood Prince, he reminds us there’s a difference between a bad boy or bully, and a truly bad person. Yes, he’s a bully and elitist, but just like his father he mostly just likes to complain and pump up his ego; he’d do very little actual damage or harm to others, that type of evil or hatred is outside of him. Xenophilius Lovegood, in my opinion, had his best and worst moments in trying to sell Harry and his friends to the Dark Lord. It wasn’t cowardly, it wasn’t weak; there is a difference between sacrificing yourself for a cause or for someone else and sacrificing your child. Xenophilius fought alongside and supported Harry until for him, there really was no more purpose in a better world, an okay world or any world.
The Deathly Hallows also nicely tidy’s up the series with the Chapter “King’s Cross” by referencing for us how just because the Harry Potter Universe was in books and in our minds didn’t make it any less real and for showing us as well as Harry how death, adulthood and life are all things we must accept and how choosing acceptance will help us move forward even if not always easy or instantaneous.
Twins
Twins are incredibly interesting, as even those with very similar DNA and upbringing, can turn into very different people. We see this with all siblings: Lily v. Petunia, Percy v. the rest of the Weasleys and so not every set of twins ends up like Gred and Forge, a great example being Parvati and Padma Patil. Parvati and Padma were so different, they were sorted into different houses with Parvati being placed into Gryffindor and Padma being placed into Ravenclaw. Later on Padma would also be named Ravenclaw Prefect and was noted to be more serious than Parvati and was never noted to have such a close friendship with her sister or with anyone else to the extreme that Parvati had with Lavender.
But while their personalities were quite different, they did have both positive and negative traits in common. Both sisters bravely fought in the Battle of Hogwarts, joined Dumbledore’s Army early on and fought against Umbridge’s rein at Hogwarts. They also both showed to be somewhat superficial, agreeing with Harry when he was the chosen one or Triwizard Champion. More information about Padma would have provided more insight to how similar or different they really were, but it’s interesting with twins and siblings how some things just are how they are: people are born a certain way or a different certain way and very little can be done to change that