Irl Cipher - Blog Posts

hey azure, how does bill respond to being teased? it seems like he just wants to steal snacks no instead of getting angry lol. is itfun to mess with him?

By anons he gets pouty like a toddler, by me? He flops down onto whatever he's sitting on or standing on no matter where, flat on his eye and refuses to get up until I take it back. Dramatic!

WHO EVEN NEEDS DUMB SALAMANDERS LIKE THEM.

i suppose i'll ask bill again since you two seem to be getting more comfortable with each other-

How long do you plan on staying? Like, what's your deal? Is The Axolotl going to come knocking at their door or something?

What happened?

UUGGHH. FINE, I'LL ANSWER. JUST BECAUSE IM TOO TIRED TO BOTHER INSULTING YOU. LONG STORY SHORT, I DONT HAVE TO STAY HERE. I COULD GO ANYWHERE I WANT IF I DONT WREAK HAVOC. THIS PLACE IS JUST EASIER TO HIDE OUT IN.

I'M PRETTY SURE THEY'VE GIVEN UP ON ME. THEY SAID THEY'D CHECK UP ON MY PROGRESS, AND LOOKY HERE. HASNT SHOWN UP ONCE. TYPICAL SALAMANDER LIES.

YOU'RE GETTING NO FURTHER EXPLANATION.

also what would happen if i booped you bill? is there even a way for you to get booped?

totally not sceeming or anything, why would anyone think that...

No nose, no boop! Must have nose for boop.

YOU TALK LIKE YOU'RE TEN.

Awwwww but you looovee meee

LESS TALKING, MORE BROWNIES.

i like to burn stuff, its good fun (obviously in a safe place like a fire place but still). i just like how you can change the colors of the flames with different things like burning ink or medals. but really hot fire is always fun, very hot and pretty. so pretty

GREEN FIRE IS GREAT TOO. WE GET GREEN PAPER ALL THE TIME, BURN IT. WE HAVE A WOOD BURNING STOVE.

And yet he still makes fires in the sink.

IT COULD BE WORSE.

hey azure and bill, how has your weekend been? also question for bill, whats your favorite color of flame? just wanting to know purely out of curiosity

Saturday, Bill got tossed around like a toy by Ruger. Today, we've just taken the trash out and nothing else. (...Bill is still a bit banged up.)

A BIT??? I LOOK LIKE IVE BEEN RAN THROUGH A GARBAGE DISPOSAL. ANYWAY. ITS BLUE. OBVIOUSLY. WHY. DONT GIVE ME CURIOSITY CRAP. NOBODY LEARNS SHIT FOR FUN, FREAK.

what has the goober done this time?

He's trying to start a rave with the pets... I'm so eepy though sigh

Biiiiiill let me go to sleeeeeeppppp😭😭😭

NO!!!! WHATS THE POINT OF A NEVER ENDING PARTY IF IT ENDS!!!!

I never agreed to thiiiihiiissssss😿😿😿😿😿

Hey bill, how did you end up here in the human world? Did you just spawn in here or did you get sent here.

AND WHY WOULD I TELL YOU? GO MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL BEFORE YOU ASK PERSONAL QUESTIONS. ILL HAVE YOU KNOW IM HERE BECAUSE I WANT TO BE.

This silly lil guy is gonna be my 13th reason yall

Bill you seem charming, why do people dislike you so much? I don’t personally understand it, you seem so fun to have around. Have you done anything cool today chaotic cosmic dorito?

THATS EXACTLY WHAT I'M SAYING!!!!!!!! THESE PEOPLE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEYRE THINKING WHEN THEY CLAIM TO DISLIKE ME. ME!!! TODAY I INCINERATED THE AXOLOTL AND LAUGHED IN HIS FACE.

..THATS WHAT I WOULDVE LIKED TO DO ANYWAY.

Hey bill, what’s your favorite shape? Is there any cool ones that you’ve seen in other dimensions that we don’t have/invented yet here?

TRIANGLES, OBVIOUSLY. SAY, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A SHAPE IN FIVE DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS? EACH DIMENSION HAS A NEW SET OF SIDES IN A DIFFERENT DESIGN. ITS CALLED FIGO. SAW IT ONLY ONCE...NEVER TAKING THAT MANY INTERDIMENSIONAL DRUGS AGAIN.

How do you have such great taste in hats and bow ties? Do you think more humans could pull off wearing top hats like you do?

TOP HATS DONT LOOK THE SAME WHEN THEY ARENT FLOATING. BOWTIES HOWEVER...EVERYBODY NEEDS ONE OF THOSE. GREATEST INVENTION EVER. GOTTA GIVE MY APPLAUSE.

for bill:do you have any skills other than being insufferable?

DO YOU HAVE ANY LIFE OTHER THAN ASKING A TRIANGLE QUESTIONS ON A SAD UNPOPULAR BLOG? (AND YES, I DO. IM GREAT AT EVERYTHING.)

have another question bill, how many dimensions are you planning or have thought of taking over after you have concurred this one? haveyou tried concuring any other besides earth? (ignore the last part if its to hard to answer)

ALL OF THEM. OBVIOUSLY. OF COURSE IVE TRIED, (AND SUCCEEDED!!!), TO CONQUER OTHER DIMENSIONS. ILL BE RULER OF ALL IN NO TIME.

hey bill, i don't know if anyone has asked this but do you have a favorite roommate out of the fur babies?

THE SHEPARD. IM NOT TELLING YOU WHY.

He means Ellie. Ruger is too clingy for him, Mea licks too much, and Lady doesn't like him.

Favorite holidays?

HOLIDAYS SUCK. WHY MAKE CERTIAN DAYS SPECIAL WHEN EVERY DAY COULD BE GREAT. DUMB SILLY HUMANS.

Uh, I don't have one. Nobody to spend Christmas or Thanksgiving with, not a good location for trick or treaters, Easter is basically nothing...

Dang, that sucks. Don’t take it too hard, he’s kind of known for being a professional asshole.

Though, from what it sounds like, he at least picks a side. I can't tell what he feels about me.

huh, that’s odd. Is he mad at you? Did you do anything that might have offended him?

I don't think so! There wasn't like, a specific time he started ignoring me either. We colored, I gave him my tablet, I made him food, it was fine, and then a little after that I came back from my shower and he was all huffy. Sigh.

Anything interesting happen? Or has bill finally simmered down? (For Azure btw)

He's been causing some chaos for the pets, but that's about it. He hasn't been talking to me unless he needs something he can't get on his own. I think he's ignoring me, not sure why though!

by the way, Azure, have you set up any ground rules with bill or taken any precautions? since he's living under your roof for the time being, i think he should know what he can or can't do.

I was thinking more, I'd set things up as we go. I mean, he knows the basics, don't kill my pets (or me) and don't destroy shit, I did end up having to hide the knives though. I'm kinda bad at thinking of these kinds of things ahead of time. Need an initiator, yknow?

where’d you get your hat and tie? (For bill)

I RECEIVED IT FROM A WONDERFUL PLACE CALLED NONYA. ITS LOCATED ON THE PENINSULA OF NOWAY. DONT BELIEVE ME? SUCKS.

Favorite shows? (Again, for both of you)

FAMILY COMEDIES. I LIKE KRAPOPOLIS.

Take a geuss (I'll give you a hint...I themed a whole blog around a character from it 🤐)

Bill just keeps yelling "DIE DIE DIE STAB STAB STAB" to absolutely nothing I think he's autistic yall

What gender do you both identify as? (You don’t have to answer btw, only if your comfortable :D)

Generfluid! Yippee!

MY GENDER IS THE VOID. GET LOST IN IT.

Hey Bill, you should listen to Lemon Demon, specifically When He Died o& Lifetime Achievement Award

DONT LIKE WHEN HE DIED. LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD IS GREAT. THANKS I GEUSS.

on a similar note, which crime would you commit if all crimes were legal for 24hrs? (Again, for both)

Forge a contract with the president confirming I am illegible for taxes and other things to make money and rent easier.. Other than that, I'm staying home. I live on a highway with a good bit of property so I'd be safe, I think people get way too wacko with purge stuff.

ALL CRIMES ARE ALWAYS LEGAL FOR ME.

Question for both of you: if you could kill one person without ANY consequences, who’d it be?

I WOULD KILL THE AXOLOTL. OBVIOUSLY. THE ONLY THING HOLDING ME BACK.

I'm not sure I don't think I quite hate anybody that bad. I think I'd save that pass for the future.

Hey azure, it doesn’t seem like many people have been asking you questions (no clue if they are still for just bill or if your still on break, either are exceptable and understandable. Answer this anytime if at all, no rush) but how are you? How have things been for you with all this triangle stuff happening and all? Seems pretty entertaining and very mentally draining.

Surprisingly I've been holding up well! He keeps himself occupied for the most part and knows when to leave me alone. It's kinda nice having company that can actually understand you. Still kinda worried something bad is gonna happen soon though.

hey bill, whats your favorite flavor of tea flavor?

CONSTANT COMMENT. WITH MILK. TWO SPOONS OF SUGAR.