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Jacob Thrombey - Blog Posts

5 years ago

Jacob: You're pretty dumb.

Stanley: Thanks.

Jacob: Why are you thanking me? I just insulted you.

Stanley: All I heard was "You're pretty", I'm focusing on the positives in life.


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5 years ago

Stanley: *Clearly high* Do you ever get like... Irritated by flower powder?

Jacob: You mean pollen...

Stanley: ...

Stanley: Flower powder.


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5 years ago

Stanley: I hate you with every inch of my body.

Jacob: Those are not many inches.


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5 years ago

Stanley: You're smiling. Did something good happen today?

Jacob: Can't I just smile because I feel good about it?

Dina: Syd fell at school today.


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5 years ago

Stanley: How much did you spend on this date?

Jacob: $1400. But all if it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.

Stanley: ...


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5 years ago

Jacob: Go fuck yourself.

Stanley: Fuck me yourself, you coward.

Jacob: *Already taking off his clothes* You asked for this.

Stanley: This is the weirdest foreplay ever.


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5 years ago

Syd: *To Miles* You and Fraser are cute together

Miles: Aw thanks Syd

Syd: But you’re not as cute as Jacob and Stan

Miles: *Sighing* I know


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5 years ago

[Stanley and Jacob texting]

Jacob: What are you doing?

Stanley: Laying in bed, what are you doing?

Jacob: Eating cereal.

Stanley: Ha ha nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you?

Jacob: Eat my cereal.

Stanley: Lol I mean if the cereal wasn't there.

Jacob: Go get cereal?


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5 years ago

Syd: What do you get when you mix a hormonally unbalanced and emotionally unstable person with a little ray of sunshine?

Stanley: Do i look like i know?

Syd: I’m talking about you and Jacob!


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5 years ago

As creator and founder of the janley, I declare Wildflower as the Janley anthem

https://youtu.be/07RHI4MDQ-U


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5 years ago

Jacob: Spell "me*

Stanley: M - E

Jacob: You forgot the D

Stanley: What? There is no D in me

Jacob: Not yet


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5 years ago

Stanley: *Walks through the door carrying a big box*

Syd: What's in the box? A robotic girlfriend?

Stanley: I don't need a robotic girlfriend, I assure you, in twenty years I will be Jacob's second husband.

Jacob: What will happen to my first husband?

Stanley: Nothing you can prove.


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5 years ago

Stanley: Let's play the 20 questions.

Jacob: Fine, what is your favorite color?

Stanley: Triangle, do you like boys?


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5 years ago

Stanley Barber: Do you want to know your gay name?

Jacob Thrombey: My gay name?

Stanley Barber: Yes, it is your first name.

Jacob Thrombey: Very funny.

Stanley Barber: *Crouched on his knee* And my last name.

Jacob Thrombey: Oh God...


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5 years ago

Stan Uris: I'm cold.

Bill: Oh, take my sweater *Put his coat on Stan*

Stan Uris: Thanks *Hugs Bill*

Stanley Barber: Hmmm... I'm cold too.

Jacob Thrombey: *Without stopping to see his cell phone* And what does it matter to me?

Stanley Barber: Fuck you.


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