Self Change - Blog Posts
You pluck out old bones from your body like errant thought; dropping them carelessly to the ground.
They crunch and crack under thick black boots; crumbling to dust.
And you sigh as if this change and growth in yourself is tedious and detached as the pruning if a bush.
Cutting away stray branches with the sickening crack of bone.
Brushing them away with the sweep of your hand as if these pieces never came from you; they aren't of use.
And I wish at once to be as numb and strong as you.
The Spider Queen
They were the one thing her mother hated and her father loved, the three tarantulas that had come to visit the little girl with the pink toy teapot that poured out real tea. She was always happy to see them, would get out her mismatched teaset and hand out cups - light pink for Jer, hot pink for Kei, and yellow for Mey.
She had always been a rather odd child. Her mother a bitter human and her father an elven druid in search of knowledge, and herself a half-elf. She had a proficiency for accidental magic, even before the expected age. Yet no one could explain how she conjured tea into her little pink teapot, fresh and steaming. She refused to say, simply smiling and saying that the spiders had taught her.
When she started school, both parents were relieved, hoping their daughter would begin to make friends with other elves or humans, or half-elves. For a bit, they thought it was working. Their daughter spoke of three little ones that she enjoyed spending time with, named Jer, Kei, and Mey. She came home with various gifts gift from the three, from a beautifully and expertly crafted white silk hair tie to a dress woven in patterns that even the most professional seamstress hadn’t seen before to a simple black friendship bracelet woven from what looked hair. Her parents were willing to ignore these strange gifts in favor of being happy that their child was interacting with other humans.
Then, of course, the school sent a letter telling them to visit the school while the children were at lunch. The teacher sat them down, explaining that the girl didn’t interact with other children, and at recess sat beside a tree and talked to three large, alarming spiders. No matter how hard the school had tried, they were unable to either get the tarantulas off of the premises nor were they able to convince her to get them to leave. Her parents were disappointed, watching throughout recess as their daughter ran off from the group of children heading for the playground to sit beside a tree and talk to the spiders that had grown exponentially. They were now half the size that she was, and clicking their pincers excitedly.
The parents could do nothing, no matter what they tried - banishing spells, fire, forbidding her to ever see the spiders again. They watched as their daughter grew up, hitting puberty and pimples breaking out along her face, her insecurities arising, the spiders following her nearly everywhere; her first heartbreak, and the ensuing hug(?) that lasted forever; when she graduated, they were waiting offstage for her and clicking their pincers along with the rest of the crowd’s applause. By that time, they were as large as she was.
She got all A’s in her classes, excelling most in nature magic, a battered little pink teapot in her backpack always. When she went off to college, they went too, and her parents frowned in disapproval at it, but said nothing. She studied history, memorizing tales of the Spider Queen, an evil woman taught and mentored by three spiders who influenced her to take over the world.
It made her think of herself, to an extent, but never once had Jer, Kae, or Mey ever tried to tell her to take over the world. Instead, they told her that she could accomplish her goals, she was better than she believed herself to be, and listening to the bullies of her school was a bad idea. She trusted them, after they had kept her from losing herself to her own low self-esteem. So, when they told her that she was who she read about, she trusted them. She refused however, to do as her previous self had done, and rule the world.
Instead, she pursued a career as a Shaman, a helper and selfless person who didn’t worry for herself and instead helped maintain the balance of light at dark, knowing that without one there couldn’t be the other. Her career led to her own writings, published works that gave her a name in the history books, one her past life had already had. The Spider Queen.
Image Prompt