Tlh - Blog Posts
Lucie: Ok, you need to start telling me why-
Grace: It’s better if I don’t tell you
Lucie: Better for who? Cause I’m not loving it. Friends, we tell each other things. There’s an exchange of information, leading to intimacy.
Grace:
Lucie: OK. Sometimes, when I’ve run out of toilet paper, I use sliced bread to clean myself. If I run out of that, I use slices of ham. It’s like a poor man’s wet wipe. I’m sharing that with you.
Grace, horrified: I really wish you hadn’t
James and Matthew fighting a demon
Matthew : I’ll try to distract them. You run!
James : no, we’re in this together
Matthew : whew, I’m glad you said that. I’m really not up to noble sacrifices
Thomas: Where do you want to be in five years, Alastair?
Alastair: *under his breath* Hopefully in your bed
Thomas: What was that?
Alastair: I sAid HoPEFULLY DEAD!
Charles: alastair is mine
Alastair: lol no
Thomas: What are you doning when you meet someone new?
Alastair: I die
Thomas: ... you can just say hello
Alastair: No, I'm just gonna die
Alastair: I could cuddle with you 23/7.
Thomas: Why not 24/7?
Alastair: Mental crisis hour.
matthew fairchild would call everyone bestie
Christopher: Matthew, what’s a metaphor?
Matthew: “My life is a train wreck”
Christopher: I know, but what’s a metaphor?
Alastair: Date me
Thomas: What?
Alastair: I said… mate with me
Thomas: Excuse me?
Alastair: I said-
Thomas: You hate me
Alastair: Yes, that
*At the end of Chain of Gold*
Tatiana: THIS DEMON’S SPAWN BURNED MY HOUSE TO THE GROUND!
Lucie: What is HAPPENING?
Thomas: James’ getting served
Christopher: But I haven’t even ordered yet
Inquisitor Bridgestock: ORDER
Christopher: Uh, yeah, a Cheeseburger please!
Elias: Alastair, I can give you things that last forever!
Alastair: You mean actual parental love?
Elias: I meant trauma
Thomas: So, does everyone know what they’re doing?
Matthew: You mean in life or the plan?
Thomas:
Matthew: because I’ve no idea of either.
Matthew: You consider me a friend?
Cordelia: Sure. What else would I consider you?
Matthew: I don’t know. An embarrassment? A way to rebel against your family? A desperate cry for help? The list is endless.
Alastair: When I die, you’re going to piss on my grave, aren’t you?
Matthew: Oh yes, most definitely
Alastair: Cool, just checking
Alastair: You’re perfect in every way
Thomas: what
Alastair: I said you’Re tErRIBLE AND PROBABLY GAY, Thomas!
Alastair, under his breath: please be at least a little gay…
James: Please tell me I’m imagining that I got drunk and claimed I was the King of All Ducks.
Matthew: I would, but then I’d be lying to the King of All Ducks.
Jesse, blushing: So, I guess we are boyfriend and girlfriend now
Lucie: Only on one condition
Jesse: What?
Lucie: I get to be the girlfriend
Thomas: I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief
James: Did you miss me?
Matthew: I always miss you. 24/6.
James: Why not 24/7?
Matthew: I worship Oscar Wilde on Sundays.
Lucie: Once, when I was younger, I tried to start a gang.
Jesse: How did it go?
Lucie: It turned into a book club.
Jesse:
Lucie: Actually, it was just Mum, Dad, Jamie and me and Bridget used to make cookies.
Matthew: I would walk through fire for the Merry Thieves!
Matthew: Well, not FIRE because it’s dangerous, but like a super humid room
Matthew: Not too humid because… you know, my hair
Matthew: Hey, do you know anybody that can teach me how to play the trumpet?
Thomas: Why do you need to learn how to play the trumpet?
Matthew: I wanna wander around and annoy Charles by playing it.
Thomas, thinking about how Charles mistreated Alastair: Technically you don’t need to know how to play it to do that.
Matthew: You have opened my eyes, Thomas
Alastair, a guest: Can I ask about the menu, please?
Matthew, a waiter: The men I please are none of your business.
Anna: Please peer pressure me into getting this report done
Matthew: Do it or you’re straight
Anna: I said peer pressure, not threaten.
TSC books: A summary
Matthew: My computer is broken
Thomas: Just give it to the IT guy
Matthew: Okay
Matthew, walking outside and tossing the computer into a sewer: Good luck
James: Hey, uh, so I’ve been reviewing this itinerary and I don’t really get it.
James: Are you sure we should release 300 live doves indoors? Won’t that get kind of messy?
Matthew: That’s why we feed them glitter, Jamie.
Christopher: I can’t believe that Britain is 1903 years old!
Matthew: You idiot, that’s how old Earth is
James: No way! :O
Matthew: I can’t believe you two didn’t know that!
Thomas, about to cry: They’re so fucking stupid
Christopher: I almost got surprise adopted yesterday
Thomas: What?
Matthew: He almost got kidnapped
Thomas: Oh, okay
Thomas: WAIT WHAT
Cordelia: I made a marshmallow Alastair, see? His arms are crossed because he’s mad at all the other marshmallows for annoying him. Do you like it?
Alastair, clearly emotional: It’s okay