Yap Sesh - Blog Posts

Idm being ace anymore. I should've never had an issue with it but I did. I thought I'd feel empty. I'd never feel passion , I'd never get to experience the vulnerability of sex. I'd never get to show someone parts of me that I hide from the world.

I know now that being ace doesn't limit that. It just presents different ways of doing it. I'm not sure if I'll ever get into a long-term relationship anytime soon, but I think I can live with that. I get to daydream possibilities and look forward to it. Even if it never happens, I'll be fine. I like being alone. I like crocheting and listening to music. I like reading random books and writing essays on them. I like trying new recipes. I like myself and I wouldn't mind spending some alone time for a long time, yk?

This is just a random post lmao, idk what to put here

I love how when you first read Catch-22, it can be, well, kind of confusing near the beginning. However, at least in my case, since it was interesting and well written I personally didn't mind.

But slowly, everything sort of ties itself together. It also gets increasingly more and more serious. An obvious example of this would be chapter 39, 'The Eternal City.' But for me, one that really stuck out to me was chapter 32, 'Yo-Yo's Roomies.' It really did a good job of showing how much Yossarian truly missed Orr, no matter how many times Orr pissed off Yossarian.

At the same time, that chapter I also found notably funny in the way it's written. Especially the lines "They reminded him of Donald Duck's nephews," and "They had not brains enough to be introverted and repressed." and I just love how it's them being nice and friendly to Yossarian with overall good intentions xD.

Also rereading this makes things so much more understandable. All the random details mentioned, its even better when you know the context behind those little references, like "It was still more frustrating to try to appeal directly to Major Major, the long and bony sqaudron commander, who looked a little bit like Henry Fonda in distress and went jumping out the window of his office each time Yossarian bullied his way past Sergent Towser to speak to him about it." It's fun reading that actually knowing who Major Major Major Major is and why he does in fact, jump out the window.

I think that's kind of why some people dislike/give up on this book (well part of the reason) because it can seem kind of random the first time through, but for me personally, that was part of the beauty of it the first time I read it. Idk though, I just personally reveled in the beginning chaos.

ooc

omg ima go on a rant now

so, I’m considered the ‘smart kid’ in my class, and yes i like to be acknowledged for it, but my social anxiety ass does not want constant attention on me just because of that and of course, when i do something way above average, the teachers have to CALL ME OUT FOR IT for example there was this 80 question math test one year, and i only got like 4 wrong (call me a nerd, idc, i love math) so the teacher yelled (not actually yelled) to the class that “_____ got only 4 wrong on that test!!” Or this year when i did an essay in english and did pretty good on it SHE READ THE GODDAMN THING TO THE CLASS and i was actually blushing so hard from embarrassment i had a high temp

so no, i’m not in theater, but yea i understand the stage fright 😅

//ooc:

Im about as healthy as a horse

Except the horse is dying

and I’m dying

and you’re dying

and everyone is dying

because spring is starting and so is allergy season

I keep wondering why so many fans (including myself) were bitter about the jjk ending.

Best I can think of is that it's because of the collectivist nature of the narrative -

defeating Sukuna was a collective struggle.

Jjk narrative seeks to dismantle the extreme individualism/hero-cult.

For us - a society built on the logic of hiarchy, that's a hard pill to swallow.

Gojo "winning" by having played his part in the collective struggle and having no regrets and Sukuna "losing" and thus regretting his choices that were proven wrong, choosing for the first time ever to reincarnate open to love -

... means there are no simple solutions, people can change, love, and work together no matter their personal differences.

There is no solitary evil mogul that we can pin all the evil on, and no solitary hero that we can push our own responsibility for saving the collapsing society on. No, it's our own responsibility to carry on as the new generation.

Also, there is a point of how mundane were the last two chapters before this. As if to remind us that life goes on and that there must come a time when students fly out of the nest and pick up their role as the next responsible ones.

Ah.

...

(( But i still miss Gojo, man. ))

I would love to see what your hypothetical Kanade crash out would look like ngl (you don't need to draw for this if you don't want to a text explanation would still be awesome)

ok soooo this isn't exactly the crashout but rather building up to it i guess :P

the rest of this post is gonna be rambling and predictions ⬇️

alright this ask enabled me, im gonna just dump all my thoughts as of now on what's to come for kanade's story :) i could end up being completely wrong, but hey im just theorizing and having fun here while i wait very impatiently lol

To start, I don't think kana5 will be on the scale of mizu5 (i mean i might be biased but idk if anything will come close to that level of insanity again), mainly because there hasn't been as much build-up to a breaking point. Kanade's issues have been pushed aside (by herself especially) and not heavily focused on up to this point in the story. There hasn't been any increasing tension for things to reach a climax yet. Having her big break be in this next event would be too sudden and sort of unprecedented. For this event at least, I highly doubt that'll be the case. Instead, I think this event will start to touch on Kanade's buried issues more, and begin building that tension for something bigger. I can see this being a multiple event arc, similar to the events leading up to the climax of Mafuyu's story. Summarizing that, yes I think Kanade's got some real tough shit ahead of her, but that's why this won't be a one-off event story. I think it'll just be the beginning.

That being said, to touch more on my predictions for kana5 itself, I think Kanade will start to slip, and the others, Mafuyu especially, will take notice. I can't really predict anything specific, but I think something will happen that will make her question her ability to save people, or cause her to be harder on herself, as she has in the past, to keep composing persistently, neglecting her own needs and health. However, things are different now than they were before niigo. She has more people around her that will be able to see the damage she's doing to herself. But she also knows they all look up to her, and that her music lifts them up. She knows they all have a lot they're dealing with, and she needs to be there for them. She can't let them down.

Then, when Kanade pushes herself past her limits at the cost of her well-being, what will she do then? She meets with the others on nightcord every night, and Mafuyu is living at her place. She won't be able to rot away by herself anymore without people noticing. But she still feels this need to be the group's rock and to be the one to save everyone, so she'll try her damn hardest to prevent the others from worrying about her. She'll shoot down their attempts at trying to talk about it. I think she might be especially stubborn this time around, and it might cause niigo to have to figure out a way to help Kanade, since they won't be able to get through to her at first.

Kanade has shown in the past to get uncharacteristically aggressive when she's pushing herself too hard, as shown above. She starts to take on everything herself, and snaps at anyone who tries to stop her. I think this side of her will be shown more going forward, as she begins to go down this kind of self-destructive path yet again. At least, that's where I think her story will go. Her tendency to work herself to the bone hasn't really been resolved, and she's gone so far with it before to end up in the hospital after passing out. She doesn't care what happens to her, as long as she can save people. The only reason she has ((slightly)) gotten better at taking care of herself is so that she can be able to keep composing without ending up in the hospital again. Not because she cares about her health. Because she must keep composing. She still only does the bare minimum for herself. If it's her cooking, she's only having instant ramen, and most days she's probably not going to see the sun. She still doesn't sleep much, and Mafuyu has said that she's often falling asleep at her computer.

This might be getting a little rambley atp, but my point is that Kanade neglects her own needs in her determination to save others. I mentioned how she neglects her physical health in the last paragraph, but she also neglects her own feelings as well.

She minimizes her own problems or just doesn't even talk about them. I think she truly believes that her problems don't matter, that they only distract her from her goals. The reason she doesn't open up is likely because she herself doesn't believe her feelings are important at all. She doesn't pay them any mind, and she doesn't want anyone else to either.

Of course, I have to bring this card up. I think this is just a perfect visual representation of Kanade's feelings, and it's great foreshadowing for what's to come. Those feelings are buried deep within Kanade, yet to be addressed or solved. THIS is what we're getting into. Kanade, depicted as an angel, surrounded by death. I think this is related to her guilt surrounding what happened to her father, believing it was her fault. That she destroyed everything. But because of that incident, she told herself she has to keep composing, and never stop, in order to save people. She feels like she owes that much, and that that's her sole purpose. She won't allow herself to think otherwise. No matter how much it destroys her, she must be a savior for others.

Last thing I wanted to add, because I saw this reblog under a prev kanade analysis post, and they brought up great points. Especially how dangerous Kanade's composing grind can get. We wouldn't even have a story if Honami hadn't found Kanade unconscious!!! I think she might get to a really low point again like this, but having Mafuyu there especially, it won't be able to go unnoticed. I don't have much else to add to those tags though cus they speak for themselves 🙏

Finally, just real quickly going back to the little comic I drew, this is just a rough idea of how I think Kanade could act. She'll get noticeably worse, but will try to hide that fact from the others and deny any help from them. I also mentioned that I think we could see more aggression from her again, so I included that, as she feels threatened in a way by Mafuyu worrying about her. She can't let that happen. Also, Kanade's impending doom aside, I think this progression in the story may also spark some change in Mafuyu. She might show some more emotion in this or future events, and she may realize how much Kanade means to her, motivating her to do more for her. I think it'll be a full group effort to save Kanade, but I wanna see Mafuyu taking a bigger role in this. I just think this also has the potential to grow Mafuyu's character more.

Also, as for the Kanade crashout, I really don't know how they'll handle that. I can't really predict what they're gonna do with her climax. But I want her screaming yelling and crying !!! like she better go insaneeee 🙏 and I also feel like they have a lot of potential with her seiyuu/VA and stepping out of the soft quiet voice to do some crazy shit, maybe in the songs too pls pls pls give us loud kanadeeee

OKAY THATS ENOUGH YAPPING its 5 am i havent slept....

Project sekai ship fics on AO3:

Ratio of # of male pjsk characters to fanfics about men (excluding gen category): 1:2626

Ratio of # of female pjsk characters to fanfics about women: 1:557

Let me say that again. For every 1 male character in project sekai, there are 2626 fics about him. For every 1 female character in project sekai, there are only 557 fics about her. Come on pjsk fandom… you should be better than that :/

(More figures & calculations below)

Number of male pjsk characters (excluding vs)*: 4

Number of female pjsk characters (excluding vs)*: 16

Total # of fics excluding gen category: 19422

3358 het fics/2 = 1679 per gender partner

% of women vs % of men in pjsk: 80% : 20%

1679+8826=10505 fics/19422=~54% of fics are about men

1679+7238=8917 fics/19422=~46% of fics are about women

*please note that if vs were included, the percentages and ratios would be the same (26 women/6 men)

If you are primarily a fan of male characters or have a male character as your fav. Ask yourself why that is. I’m guilty of this too. Most of us are guilty of this. Examine your biases and try to move past them. There is already enough misogyny in the world.

Last yap session of the day but while I’m at it, i wanna share my kanade headcanons!!

Unrelated opinions paragraph here, scroll to the red title to get to the actual hc’s

Headcanons are a tough thing for me in the pjsk fandom because sometimes I see people get a little lost in the sauce and use ‘hc’ when what they really mean is ‘au’ or ‘thing I want to happen/wish happened.’ In addition, many hcs I’ve seen tend towards being reductive in my opinion, or not necessarily accurate to the way I see the character. This is fine with me! I love fandom discourse (as long as everyone stays respectful). Everything is a matter of opinion, and as someone who prefers to stay near the canon-accurate side of things (unless I am making an au, see: evil nightcord) not everything will be for me. All that is to say, these takes might not be super daring. I’ve thought a lot before coming to my own conclusions about my favorite characters, and feel a strong need to sufficiently explain and support my takes with evidence and elaboration. But I do hope they’re fun to read nonetheless, and I’d love to hear other people’s opinions as well as their own hcs in the reblogs, contradictory or otherwise!

KANADE HEADCANONS (in order from least to most elaboration)

1) kanade has albinism :D she inherited it from her mom, and it’s (part of) why the sun is especially rough on her

2) kanade is terrible at stem, especially math. She seriously struggles doing operations in her head, she has good spacial awareness but can’t grasp conceptual stuff. When she was younger her parents considered getting her a tutor, but since she’s going into music anyway she just took the bare minimum math classes and moved on

3) (this is a little contrary to canon but) kanade DOES have some semblance of a hair routine (bc how else is it not all matted by now). When she was younger, her mom liked to dress her up and would braid her hair before bed, so kanade always brushes and braids her hair whenever she goes to sleep properly instead of passing out. She will neglect her own needs for the purposes of composing, but her hair feels more like her mom’s than hers, so she makes sure to take good care of it.

4) kanade is the rectangle body type. I only feel the need to say this myself because pjsk has such little variation between their character models, and you really have to look hard to discern their features from one another, but I do think it’s fairly obvious for kanade in particular. Part of it is her lack of healthy eating habits, but I always picture Kanade to be relatively flat with a boxy torso and a round face

5) kanade is demiromantic & ace! (This one is just for me) but I like to imagine her wondering at some point why she doesn’t have crushes on anyone while in junior high school, but all of those thoughts get pushed aside and mostly forgotten after her dad collapsed because ‘I don’t have time for that, I need to make music.’ In terms of other orientation, I imagine kanade to be pan as I don’t think she would have much of a preference as long as she knows the person well. And I can’t honestly picture her going out of her way to use pronouns other than ‘she/her,’ at least in the context of canon.

(Now for the more major/stretching canon hcs)

6) kanade has a chronic illness, which is a major cause of her general fatigue. Yes I know it’s canonically because she doesn’t eat enough or go outside but I think that’s part of why she doesn’t know about it: she rarely engages in physical activity, so she chalks up fatigue to lack of practice, not realizing her fatigue is abnormal. I also think it makes sense for her because her parents both have histories of underlying conditions. Not that pjsk gives us anything to work with, but we know her mom passed away of an illness, and her dad suffered a stroke due to stress; one so major that it could only have been caused by an underlying condition. Running on the assumption that she would have inherited her condition from her mother, I’m sure this would be a subject that would, at least, be on Kanade’s mind. I can’t imagine when she was younger that she would be able to understand her mother’s condition in its entirety. But I can easily imagine as Kanade grows older and puts herself out there more, her having to confront that she may be sick. She would admit her concerns to her grandmother once she realizes she can’t deny it anymore, and her grandmother would confess that she had feared this all along; that it was the same condition her mother suffered from. It’s a compelling concept to me, and one I definitely want to fanfic in the future…

Last but not least, the one you’ve been waiting for:

7) kanade has autism. This one is also tough because project sekai gives us nothing but my CANON evidence is: she eats the same thing every day (not just out of convenience because she also orders noodles when she goes out to eat), wears the same thing every day (verified in a 1koma that she has several of the same outfit, and possibly pointing to sensory issues), focuses on composing for such long stretches that she forgets to eat and take care of herself, and ofc, special interest. I also like to think that kanade is hyper-empathetic, doing things in her childhood like: “I have to spend the same amount of time with all my stuffed animals so none of them feel left out”. Not having the words (much less the diagnosis) to explain some of her behaviors, when she goes nonverbal with niigo she will use the chat function and say something like ‘my voice hurts,’ or more often skip out on the call saying she needs to focus for a while (because when she’s stressed enough to be nonverbal, she’s also going to fall back into the mindset of needing to work herself to death composing). She stimmed a lot when she was younger but (as many do) learned to mask it as she got older. It still manifests in her drumming her fingers on her desk, bouncing her knees, etc. when working at home, and a lot of the time vocally in the form of singing. Her house has always been musical, so this was never a problem. But whenever honami hears her doing this (as it’s often without her realizing it) she gets very embarrassed, so honami pretends not to hear it so that Kanade will do it more.

Ykw I’m feeling inspired it’s time for a yap session. Who wants to hear my opinions on akitoya? :)

You know… people seriously underutilize how much Toya rags on Akito. The fandom never acknowledges it because Akito is the mean one and Toya is the nice one but in all the stories and interactions they’ve ever had (bc I’ve read all of them) Akito has not said anything even slightly rude to Toya, and Toya is consistently like—

Which is much more peak dynamic if you ask me.

I like to imagine the first time he made a comment like that and Akito stared at him for several seconds like (I didn’t know he was capable of jokes…) and Toya was like (oh shit I messed up he’s gonna get mad at me maybe I should apologize..) and then Akito just laughs about it and that is the beginning of the bromance

Both of them put on a certain amount of facade when interacting with most people, like most people do. For Akito, that’s his ‘tough guy’ standoffish and combative persona, and for Toya it’s his stiff, formal politeness. So naturally, it would follow that with the person they feel most comfortable around, this vanishes. During the first wedding event, when Akito met Rui he immediately put up a front and decided to dislike him. But the second Toya asked him, he caved and agreed to help. If you looked in his brain while he’s talking to toya at any one moment it would just be like

Akito’s vulnerability is letting himself be sweet and sentimental. It’s the genuine smile he only wears when he’s looking at toya or at his sister. It’s ruffling his hair after doing well in an event and complimenting him the way he only does for his teammates. And for Toya, it’s being able to joke around and mess with his best friend without worrying about getting in trouble. Their affection for each other is mimicking the parts of the other’s personality that they find most endearing and I think that’s beautiful

Another example of this fandom attitude that I’ve noticed is stuff like this meme: (no hate to the creator obv.)

Let’s be fr… we know what Akito is like, right? This is the guy who beat a band that bullied him in middle school in a singing battle and then immediately berated himself for daring to be even a little bit proud about it. This is the guy who heard that he wasn’t the most committed to soccer in the entire world and decided to quit. Do you think his thought process would be so simple as to just be happy after kissing the love of his life? AbsoLUTELY not. This guy is running out of the room IMMEDIATELY to go white-knuckle the bathroom sink. He is going to stare at his reflection breathing heavily and trying to wipe the blush off his face before falling heavily against the door behind him and sinking slowly to the tile to bury his face in his knees. Akito is the least mentally stable man I’ve ever met. Toya, on the other hand. With how much he admires Akito, and with how much he wears his heart on his sleeve without even realizing what he’s feeling himself, the only thoughts I can imagine going through his mind are ‘:D’ Toya would not hide any of his emotions from Akito for a second, I doubt he even knows how. The only thing Toya is doing is realizing, ‘oh, I’m in love with him.’ And then saying, ‘Akito, I’m in love with you.’

To close this out I’m going to send you all to one of my favorite takes on their dynamic in this post. This is especially true after reading Toya’s side story in his 3star from kick it up a notch, which I highly recommend all akitoya fans go read ❤️❤️❤️

Honestly this reading is surprising to me because I didn’t take it like that. I don’t know if it’s just a matter of opinion, or maybe because it’s difficult to read into what the writers intended, but for me, I read the event like this:

At the start, An is worried about participating in a photoshoot because ‘she isn’t a model or anything,’ and doesn’t have any experience with things like that. It seemed pretty clear to me that the meaning behind this was that An was feeling insecure. This tracks for her character because we’ve seen events since then showing how An’s insecurity tends to complicate her feelings towards Kohane. I won’t elaborate too much so as not to spoil later events, but I’ll try my best to explain with some quotes taken from the event. In the beginning, when Kawasaki suggests An model for her, she says this:

And when she says the last line, she frowns, like she’s disappointed. And later in the event, she also says this;

An isn’t apprehensive because she is uncomfortable wearing dresses, she is apprehensive because she doesn’t think she is mature or collected enough to make a suitable bride. At the same time, she wants to be those things. Kohane brings it up when she notices An trying to act more mature— something that ended up stifling her natural spark— and An confesses it at the end of the event, realizing she has only felt unsure of herself because she was trying to make herself more like her aunt Nagi, someone she very much looks up to. That’s the conflict of the event. You can also see it in the screenshot OP posted above. An says Shizuku would look better in a dress, not because she’s more feminine, or because she would feel more comfortable, it’s specifically because she’s a model.

As for whether or not An felt uncomfortable, I don’t think that’s true. I think she was definitely nervous, for the reasons posted above, but she didn’t dislike dressing up. When she first steps out and hears her friends gush about her, she’s blushing and very appreciative:

And ends up being very collected throughout the photoshoot:

In fact, Kohane ends up being the one who needs help calming her nerves. As for An’s own conflict, the reason why Kawasaki didn’t feel that the pictures were coming out quite right until the end, the reason is An’s insecurity.

She had been trying to mimic her role models, and ended up stifling herself. Which is what singing with Kohane allowed her to let loose from

I was glad the writers made the choice to put An in the dress. As a female character who presents herself more ‘traditionally masculine’, in the outfits she usually gets, and in her confident and outgoing personality, I think everyone expected her to wear the suit. But she shouldn’t have to limit herself like that. An doesn’t have a role she is obligated to play, and she doesn’t need to change herself— become more beautiful, mature, or even more feminine— to fit into the dress. An doesn’t fit into the typical stereotypes of a feminine girl, but she is still a girl, and she is happy with her gender identity. In the end, what she ended up learning was that she is at her best when she is being herself, not what she thinks a bride is expected to be. And I think that’s an important lesson for An to be able to learn.

My most controversial pjsk opinion is that I genuinely dislike An's wedding event but I very specifically hate this writing choice.

The in-universe justification for this is Shizuku being taller than An but oh my god. An is just so uncomfortable for most of the entire event in that outfit. She was so excited about wearing a tuxedo as well and basically was shot down when bringing that up. This actually hurts my soul a bit

Blog master post

welcome to my blog! I post project sekai fanart and reblog more of that :)

Asks are currently OPEN !! Feel free to send

-requests for characters/npcs you’d like to see in my style

-questions about the fandom in general!

If you’re here to see my art, sort by the #art tag

(#requests for fulfilling asks)

If you’d like to see curated content from my extremely talented mutuals and other sekai fans, sort by #reblogs

account updates can be found under #non-art

and for my fandom opinions and other stuff sort by #text posts

I’m bad at formatting so this post will be edited and improved upon in the future. Thanks for reading!

(Tags below for easy access)

wait hear me out.

so the name Perseus has two meanings. The avenger or the destroyer. (I believe). Percy Jackson's real name is Perseus, right? So which meaning is it meant to have? I think Rick chose that name because Percy, being the child of the prophecy, had two choices. He could avenge the Olympians, or be on their side. Or, he could've destroyed Olympus, had Luke persuaded him. Maybe I'm just overthinking it, but... like hear me out.

TWEAKING OUT