Chris Brown - Blog Posts
Rihann & Chris Brown Re-uniting
Its kinda beginning to piss me off that people are running their mouths about Rihanna getting back together with Chris Brown. I'd like to first say that I agree what he did was deplorable and evil. I personally feel he should have done at least 5yrs in jail without parole, and been court ordered into anger management for no less then 2yrs post sentence completion. A non-famous man would have been thrown in jail and ordered into anger management for less than the severity of beating Chris gave Rihanna.
HOWEVER: She did not run straight back into his arms after the incident. What everyone is failing to see is that, there is more to the story then what the paparazzi publish or the police report of what Chris did. No one knows if he got professional help on his own privately. No one knows what he must have done during the time he and Rihanna were separated to PROVE to her that he deserved a second chance to be a better man. She is NOT one of those females that took a beating and said "Its ok baby, I know I made you mad. It was my fault too. I forgive you" and ran back to him straight from the hospital. We all know that 1 female (friend or family) that does do exactly that. He did not beat her regularly before she said 'enough' and left him. It was a single fight between them and he let his emotions and actions get out of control.
As TRUE Rihanna Navy: We must trust her judgement and intellect. Trust that she did make him get help privately and prove to her that he has learned to control his emotions and actions. Trust that she is not going back to him blindly. Remind ourselves that she did make him wait and has had serious time to consider the impact of this decision. Trust that if he fails again she will walk away from him again and for good the second time. And PRAY, truly PRAY for her safety and for her to be right in her decision so she may find the "happily ever after" she deserves.
We are not in her shoes and do not know the whole story. Stop hating, stop judging without all the facts, and just love her as you did before this news broke.
Chris Brown Show in South Africa2025😆😁😄😃😀🥰
Keri Hilson
No Boys Allowed
(via (mashup) Meek Mill - All Eyes on Me bw Downfall Pt 2 - Whos House - Video Dailymotion)
Memes Fresh out the oven
Honestly I could care less about the fucking phone call - people are focusing too much on the he said she said when everyone should've been pissed at Kanye from the start for what HE DID.
On his famous mv Kanye portrays 11 celebrities (+ himself) naked on bed. And little has been said about Kanye deciding to exhibit naked people without their consent in a music video. And even less has been said about the fact that he decided to exhibit that same bed with the 12 silicone life-like, anatomically correct and BREATHING figures as part of a "pop-up art exhibition" in Los Angeles' Blum & Poe gallery, exhibition that was open to the public and Kim and Kendall advertised on social media.
TWELVE people: George Bush, Donald Trump, Rihanna, Amber Rose, Taylor Swift, Anna Wintour, Bill Cosby, Chris Brown, Ray Jay, Caitlin Jenner, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West himself. And we can assume that he probably had NO consent from TEN of those people. This figures were created by DONDA in collaboration with two Los Angeles studios that I wish I had the names of.
And guess who called Blum to get the exhibition done? SCOOTER BRAUN.
Scooter was part of Kanye's management team and he knew Blum beforehand. Blum said Scooter called him himself and that the reception of the "show" was extremely positive by all accounts.
KANYE PUBLICALLY EXHIBITED TEN PEOPLE NAKED WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT ON HIS MUSIC VIDEO AND A GALLERY FOR "ART" - THIS GOES BEYOND JUST TAYLOR (even though I agree she took the biggest blow) AND A GASLIGHTNING PHONECALL WITH A MANIPULATIVE ABUSER. HE ABUSED 10 PEOPLE. TEN. AND GOT PRAISED FOR IT WHILE TAYLOR HAD TO HIDE FOR A WHOLE YEAR BECAUSE SHE GOT HATE BECAUSE OF WHAT HE DID.
Chapter Two: Cool Blue
Sam Smith’s ‘The Lonely Hour’ album flowed gently into the bathroom. My freshly washed hair was wrapped in a towel atop my head as I soaked in a bath full of warm bubbly water, relishing the rare state of tranquility that I was currently experiencing.
I’d slept well the night before and had awoken feeling refreshed and relaxed. I’d quickly noticed how quiet it was around here. It was strange to not wake up to the sound of horns blaring and people shouting down on the street. It almost felt abnormal.
Wrapped in another fluffy towel, I double-checked the bedroom door was locked before rubbing lotion into my skin, pulling on some underwear and letting my hair down. I grabbed my hair serum off the dresser and ran a little of it throughout my hair, deciding to leave it in its naturally curly state as opposed to spending the next hour battling with it.
Paris hammered on the door at around 11am, just as I finished painting my fingernails a glossy black. After managing to open the door for her without smudging, she burst in, completely messing up my calm with all her energy.
“Hey,” She beamed, her bright eyes admiring my long black nails, “Glad you’re up already. I’m gonna head to the mall, wanna come?”
I actually didn’t. I would have preferred to stay in and just relax. I had a bunch of things in my Netflix queue that I wanted to get through and I wasn’t all caught up on Scandal yet. I was about to say no, but then I remembered that I was trying to become a new, more outgoing, person and decided to say yes instead.
“Yeah, sure,” I shrugged, “Give me a second.”
I scooted into the bathroom quickly, where I filled the sink with cold water and soaked my hands in them for a minute or two to dry the nail lacquer.
Paris was seated on my bed as I re-entered the room, poking through my belongings that were sat on the bedside table.
“So what time are we leaving?” I asked, startling her. I could tell from the expression on her face that she felt guilty about getting caught nosing through my stuff.
“In about an hour, I guess. Breakfast is downstairs so we can get some food then go.” She replied.
I nodded as I inspected my nails. I’d painted them pitch black so many times that I was now a pro. No smudges, no streaks, no black paint on my skin. 10/10.
“Hey, do you mind if my friend comes with us?”
I shook my head noiselessly with my attention still on my fingers.
“Great, I’m excited, I can’t wait for you to meet her! She’s been my best friend since we were in kindergarten,” Paris explained. “I think you’ll like her. Me and her are just alike. We always get asked if we’re related.” She giggled. “She’s had this crush on one of my brothers friends for years and I like his brother who’s friends with Jason too, so we always say that if we marry ‘em then we will really be related.”
I offered a smile in response.
“Don’t say anything in front of Jason, though. He’d get mad if he knew I still had a crush on his friend.”
“Why would he get mad?”
“I don’t know, he’s just funny about that kind of thing,” she responded nonchalantly.
I frowned slightly, wondering why it’d be a problem for his little sister to have a harmless crush on one of his friends. I could understand him not being in favor of her and a friend of his to start dating, but a crush was nothing. Maybe he was just overprotective, I concluded.
I shrugged along with Paris.
“I bet you got a boyfriend in New York, huh, Erin?” She enquired with sudden eagerness in her voice.
“No, I don’t,” I responded meekly.
“Why not? You’re pretty.”
I paused as I began lining my eyes with favorite liquid liner, “I don’t know,” I picked my mascara up out of my makeup bag and started coating my lashes with it. I could feel Paris’ eyes on me and hoped she wouldn’t push the subject further.
“You aint gotta wear any foundation or concealer or nothing like that your face, huh?” She asked, leaving my love life alone.
“Nuh-uh.”
“Lucky.” She breathed.
I felt a twinge of guilt. I could tell that Paris really wanted me to talk with her about boys and makeup and all that kind of thing, but I wasn’t very good at it. That stuff just wasn’t me. I figured if she had survived nineteen years in the house with no female around her age to talk about this with, then it wouldn’t kill her that I was no good at girlie-girl stuff.
Half a minute of silence seemed to be too much for Paris to bear so more words on a completely different subject were now tumbling out of her mouth.[
“Are you gonna buy anything at the mall?”
“Yeah, I think I wanna get a new phone.”
“You know which one you want?”
“Yeah, the new iPhone, I think.” I had put my makeup away and was now shutting off the iPod dock.
“You should get a Blackberry like me, then we can add each other on BBM.” Paris chirped. “Most of my friends have BBM too so when you meet them and become friends with them you can add them on BBM too.”
“Yeah.” I was fixing my hair in the mirror; it was finally completely dry. I bent forward and scrunched it up in my palms then sprayed some hair spray.
Paris continued telling me all the pros about getting a Blackberry as I threw on my Chucks, grabbed my Ray Ban’s and credit card then headed down to breakfast with her trailing close behind me.
***
Music blasted out from the speakers of Paris’ car as we rode to pick up her friend. The midday sun was beating down on the vehicle, the breeze from the open windows being the only relief in the stifling heat.
Paris gasped as we drove along a street almost identical to the one she lived on. I noticed that all the streets looked pretty much the same. There was no deciphering which was which to me as of yet.
“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!” She squealed.
“What?” I asked panicking and squinting into the distance trying to see what she was hyperventilating over. “WHAT?!”
She slowed as we approached a shiny black Range Rover. A guy was hopping out of it as we approached.
“Hey, Callum!” She called.
The boy turned his head, most of his face obscured from view by the black snapback that sat low on his face, and nodded in response to Paris.
“Oh my God!” Paris repeated once we were a little way away from the boy she’d almost crapped herself over. I frowned and said nothing; I was annoyed that she had acted a fool all because of a guy. She’d almost given me a heart attack making me think that something was actually wrong. “That’s the dude my friend likes, the one I was telling you ‘bout earlier.”
I nodded. I barely caught a glimpse of him, so I was unable to tell whether he was hyperventilation worthy or not. Most likely not.
Paris giggled and pulled up to the curb outside a house that she informed me her ‘bestie’ lived in.
Seconds later, a girl with deep red hair came out of the house and bounced down to the car. I screwed up my face in confusion as I remembered that Paris had said that people asked if the two of them were related; these girls didn’t look anything alike.
“Lauren!” Paris shrieked in excitement as the girl got in the backseat. “Oh my God girl, you look so cute, our skirts are matching!”
It seemed as though denim miniskirts were all the rage in Richmond. I made a mental note of that.
Lauren hopped in the car and offered me a smile as a greeting.
“Guess who we passed on our way to pick you up?” A smile grew on Paris’ face.
“Who?” Lauren asked keenly.
“Callum.” Paris said and Lauren shrieked and started freaking out in the backseat. “I was like Hey Callum.”
“What did he say?” Lauren asked so consumed with excitement that she could hardly get the question out. “Where was this?”
“This was like right outside his house; he was getting into his car. He was by himself though, no Daniel.”
I zoned out as the two of them went over the tiny little mind-numbing details about the two seconds Paris and I saw Callum for.
***
I followed Paris and Lauren around Forever 21, glancing at the clothes, occasionally picking something up and feigning interest. I began to feel like I should have stayed at the house.
It always amazed me how some people could talk and talk and talk. I’d always been someone of few words, most just containing a singular syllable, but those people with all the charm and charisma that could talk to anybody about anything always left me in awe. I wished I was like that.
By the time we went to Apple Store and got back into the car, my shiny new iPhone in hand, the girls were still discussing Lauren’s crush.
“Everybody knows that it’s hard to keep Callum’s attention. I haven’t heard of him dating anybody seriously, ever. Hell, I haven’t even seen him look at nobody and he’s constantly at my house with my brother, so I would know.”
I’d decided to sit in the back alone so they could gossip in the front and leave me in peace, but Paris had left the music off so there was no escaping the conversation.
“So he’s definitely single?” Lauren asked, “He’s not talking to no one important, not interested in a girl, no nothing?”
“As far as I know; that is correct.”
The car was silent for a second as Lauren mulled everything over. “But, look how many girls like Callum -”
“Like every girl in Virginia!” Paris interjected unhelpfully.
“- why out of all those girls would he like me?”
“Why wouldn’t he?”
“Because he could have any girl,” Lauren responded, “Every girl! Maybe the reason you don’t see him with a girlfriend - he wants to just mess with as many chicks as he can instead of committing to one.”
“Well at some point he’s gonna get a girlfriend.” Paris remarked simply. “Could be anybody.”
***
I couldn’t have been any happier when we pulled up outside my Aunt and Uncle’s house; I literally jumped out of the car the second Paris had parked up.
Lauren was still with us, which I was certain meant hours more of unnecessary conversation and precise analysis over something as ridiculous as what the tone that Callum used when he last said hello to Lauren means.
I waited impatiently on the sidewalk as I watched Paris and Lauren remove their purchases from the car so we could get in the house. As much as I wanted to run inside and lock myself in my room I didn’t want to be rude, but during the last few minutes of the car ride they’d started asking for my input and I really didn’t want that to continue. I’d already done my fair share of socializing today.
I could have screamed out in frustration as I watched a black Range Rover pull up beside Paris’ car. I knew from the expression on Lauren’s face that it wasn’t, as I had hoped, just a random Range that just happened to be parking right there. No of course not, it was Callum’s car. Cue eight million hours of more chatter over this boy.
I folded my hands over my chest and purposely averted my eyes as I heard his car door slam and him offer a casual “what’s up?” to the girls.
“You good?” Callum asked as he passed so close to me that our forearms brushed against each others. I looked up, the brim of his hat was low, concealing most of his face, but as our eyes connected I noticed that his were a calm shade of blue. He was very gorgeous. About 6’2”, if I had to guess. He had skin the color of honey and perfectly full lips. His hair peeked out from beneath his hat, all dark blonde curls.
It couldn’t have been more than a second that we he was that close to me, looking right into my deep brown orbs as I looked back into his pretty ones, but to me it felt like a lifetime.
I nodded gently in response and he smiled, displaying a deep pair of dimples, before continuing on his way.
I watched, unable to help myself, as he walked up onto the porch. He glanced back unexpectedly and caught me looking at hime. He offered another smile as the heat rose up in my face and I blushed like a pre-teen schoolgirl.
So that’s what they were chattering about.
[If you’re new to this story, please go back a few posts to find the Introduction. This is not the first add.]
Chapter One: Richmond
My Aunt and Uncle owned the nicest house I’d ever seen.
The house had four floors, including a basement where Jason resided. The kitchen, dining and living room were on the ground floor; all rooms were ridiculously big and furnished in a way that made them feel extremely cozy. On the second floor was the master bedroom, Jason’s old room, Paris’ bedroom, the den and a large bathroom.
I couldn't help but think, as I wandered awestruck around the second floor, that I'd love to live in a house like this. It was just so... homey. So neat and tidy without feeling sterile, warm and cozy without feeling cramped, big and spacious without feeling hollow. All the best technology made the house feel modern and up-to-date, iPads and MacBooks and Apple TV galore, but not in a way that made it look over the top. It was perfect.
“We thought you might want some privacy, so you’re up here.” Uncle Clarke explained as he lugged my suitcase up another flight of wooden stairs to the third floor and opened the door at the top of it.
“Here we are.” He smiled. “I’ll leave you to settle in. The kids will be home soon and we’ll call you when dinner is ready.”
***
I’d dumped my suitcase onto the double bed of the guest room and unpacked the majority of my belongings. The room was big with white walls, wooden flooring and, thankfully, a big window that had been left open to let some cool air in. A television was mounted on the wall at the end of the bed and an iPod dock sat on the dresser beside a full-length mirror. Two double wardrobes sat up against the back wall, they were just begging me to buy more clothes to fill with them during my four week stay, a temptation I knew I would never be able to resist. Also on the back wall, to the left of the wardrobes was another door that upon entering I found out led to an en suite bathroom. As I looked around the fully equipped bathroom with a shower, toilet, sink and tub, I couldn’t help but wonder what my Aunt and Uncle did for a living that made them able to afford a home like this. Or maybe it was just the fact that I lived in New York where a place this size would cost near enough a million caused me to think you needed to be stinking rich to afford this.
Within minutes I’d already been able to make the bedroom look cluttered and messy with all my shit, no matter how neatly I tried to lay things out. I'd filled the wardrobes with my clothes; a sea of black garments that didn't seem to have a beginning or an end. I was a creature of habit. I wore nothing but American Apparel Easy Jeans and an assortment of black tops, and I had them by the truckload.
My prized possession, my Dads old leather biker jacket, had been hung up in the doorway. I'd been unable to keep many of his possessions after he passed, besides what he'd left in the will, so I cherished this jacket with all of my heart and soul. It brought back memories of him, like the kids in my class gawking over my 'cool dad' waiting for me out in the school yard adorned in leather and ripped denim, or him riding around the city on his motorcycle. The jacket swamped me; the shoulders were too big, the sleeves too long, but I wore it anyway. I always felt proud wearing my Dads jacket. It was like a badge of honor.
My makeup and hair products sat on the dresser. I was a liquid eyeliner enthusiast. That, and a billion coats of mascara, was all I wore on my face. My hair was another story. It was wild and untamed, and it hung to my waist in a tangle of curls that I religiously dyed the darkest shade of black. I spent my life going at my head of hair with my beloved GHDs, straightening it into submission, not stopping until it draped, pin straight, down my back. My Mom used to tell me that she was surprised I had any hair left with the way I'd go at, and my Dad would laugh, saying that us St. James' had enough hair for the whole of Manhattan.
I groped around in the bottom of my suitcase for a hairband and twisted my hair up into a topknot. The air felt cool on the back of my neck, a welcomed relief. I’d managed to work up a sweat while unpacking; trying to appear tidy really was hard work.
I kicked the empty suitcase under the bed and then collapsed on top of the mattress. The clock on the wall showed that it was only just after 9pm but I was exhausted. All that packing, unpacking and flying had worn me out.
I stretched out on the crisp, white sheets and stared up at the ceiling. Now that I had some time alone, I was beginning to feel anxious about meeting my cousins. I had never been good at meeting new people, making conversation, or any of the social skills that getting people to like me required. Whenever I did manage to trick someone into thinking I was an okay person, I’d manage to mess it up someway, somehow.
I’d vowed myself that that was all going to change now. I wasn’t waiting until the New Year to make a resolution. I, Erin St. James, had decided that I no longer wanted to be the anti-social, awkward girl in the back of the room. I was going to vibrant and present and friendly and outgoing and all of the other stuff that people aimed to be on their journey towards self-actualization. I had left unhappy Erin in New York. I had promised myself she would not make an appearance in Virginia and I intended to stick to it.
Suddenly, the door knocked and I sat upright on the bed.
“Come in,” I called.
The door swung forward and opened so that it blocked the view of the bed that I was sitting on.
“I’m here.” I said shyly, leaning to the side to get a look at the person who’d knocked.
“Hey.” A guy, who I assumed was my cousin Jason, had entered the room. He stood about 6ft tall, with rich brown skin and dark wavy hair. He’d inherited the same hazel eyes that my Dad and his Dad both had but had Auntie Jodie’s nose. “I’m Jason, you must be Erin.” I stood up and shook his hand when he offered it. “My Mom said dinner will be like fifteen minutes but she’ll call you down anyway.” He turned and left the room.
I managed to squeak out an “okay” as the door shut behind him.
I’d pulled out my hairband and had barely sat back down on the bed when the door swung open once again.
“Hello?” A female voice called as she entered. I didn’t have time to say anything before she looked around and spotted me on the bed. “Hey, Erin!” She bounded towards me and pulled me into a big hug as I sat startled and crushed within her grip. She released me and sat on the bed beside me. “Oh my God, you’re so pretty! Mom said you were pretty but oh my God!” I tried to thank her but her attention was now on my hair, which she had reached out to stroke. “Your hair is so long and pretty,” She gushed. “I cut mine a few months ago and I’m still trying to grow it back.”
She had paused long enough for me to speak so I seized the opportunity with both hands, “So you’re Paris?”
“Yeah, sorry, I forgot to introduce myself,” she smiled. “I love your accent, by the way.”
“Thanks, I -”
“I really want to visit New York one day, I love the way y’all speak, it’s too cute. My Dad’s accent has faded since he’s lived here so long, yours is a fresh one. I love it.” She paused to try and imitate the way I spoke. “So you’re Paris?”
I smiled; this girl was a motor mouth. “Pretty good.”
Paris grinned back at me. I took a moment to look at her; her and Jason looked a lot alike, they had similar face shapes, the same mouth and nose, the same eye color. Her hair was light brown with a side part and hung down straight just past her shoulders. She was a pretty girl.
“So how old are you?” She asked, braiding a portion of my hair.
“Twenty.” I responded. There it was again, the reminder.
“And how long you here for?”
“Four weeks.”
Paris tugged the hairband of my wrist and used it to secure the end of the braid she’d just finished. “Good, so I got like a big sister for a little while,” she glanced at me, her eyes gleaming, “Well actually you’re only like a year older than me so it’s more like twins.”
My eyebrows rose slightly and I relaxed them as she looked at me again.
Paris continued on jabbering about all the fun things we were going to do in Virginia until her Mom called us down to eat. It seemed like I wouldn’t have to worry about my ability to communicate when it came to her; she did enough talking for the two of us.
Prologue
"Alright Mr. Harris. It looks like your blood pressure is going down." I stated, writing down his current blood pressure.
"Will I be able to go home soon?" He questioned. I looked back down at him and sighed. Him and I both knew he wouldn't be able to go home anytime soon.
"It's alright, I know." Mr. Harris said with a sigh. I gave him a faint smile and turned on my heels.
Sighing, I hung the clip board up. I felt bad for Mr. Harris. He had just had a heart transplant and been in the hospital for almost two weeks and was hardly improving.
I tugged on my loose ponytail as I made my way to the on call room. I had been working for 14 hours straight and needed a nap.
"Hey Jodie." I said as I walked into the room and closed the door behind me. She held up her finger and pointed to her cell phone she was holding up to her ear.
"Alright baby. I love you too." She smiled and made a kissy noise into the phone.
"Yuck." I mumbled, laying down on the bottom bunk.
"Don't hate Logan." She said in her usual cheery voice. I guess she was off the phone with her boyfriend.
"I'm not." I replied simply and closed my eyes. I was in no mood to talk. I just wanted some sleep.
Just as I started closing my eyes, my pager went off. Groaning, I dug into ,my scrubs pocket and pulled it out. 911, Rm 312. I sat up quickly. Mr. Harris.
By time I had got to his room, they were already starting compressions. I pushed past the floor nurses and stood next to Karon, who was the one doing the compressions.
"Where were you?" He questioned with attitude in his voice.
"On call room, what happened?" I asked desperately but wasn't answered. Karon grabbed the Defibrillator and rubbed it together. I sunk back into the crowd of nurses and backed out the door. I heard Karon yell "Clear" over and over again. But I already knew how today would end.
This was the job. Some times you saved people, sometimes you lost them.
Chapter 6: Heart Ain't A Brain
Jerrell's Point. Of. View
As I awaited her answer I noticed that she was becoming teary eyed. I don't know why she just won't tell me what's going on with her. I love this girl and I've always been here for her, and I plan to continue this pattern of being here for her. However I was growing impatient and I needed her to talk to me now.
Me: Khloe look at me. *I said as I cupped her chin in my hand bringing her to face me.*
Once I had eye contact with her she turned her head again. I wasn't gonna leave until she spoke to me about what was going on. I picked her up without even getting off the couch,placing her body on mine so that she was now straddling me. Then I tried again, this time holding her face a little tighter, enough for her not to be able to turn her face from me but still not too hard.
Me: Khlo? What's going on?
Khloe: Please can we just talk about it a different time Jerrell?
Tears were now streaming down her face. Yet here I was still lost with no clue about what she was feeling.
Me: No, Khlo look at you, you're crying and you still don't wanna tell me what's going on. Listen, I love you, and I'm here for you so just please let me be here.
Khloe: Please don't do this.
Me: Don't do what Khlo?
Khloe: Don't be all kind, loving, and sweet to me.
Me: Ok, tell me you don't love me back and then we'll come to this agreement. I won't be kind, loving, or sweet to you.
Khloe: I.....I....
Me: Khlo don't force yourself to say words you won't mean.
As she got up off of me she began to cry harder, except for I wasn't gonna just let her run to her room crying.I grabbed her by her arm and pulled her into me. I put my chin on the top of her head while she cried into my chest.
Me: Its ok babe, everything while be ok.
Khloe: No, it won't, and I'm so sorry Jerrell. I really didn't want to hurt you.
Me: Babe I'm fine, when I talk about my dad I sad for just that moment, but then when I think of how much he made sure we knew he loved us, I'm ok again.
Khloe: No, Rell, not that.
Me: Then what Khlo?
I eased away from her so that she could look at me, but I didn't let her out of my arms.
Khloe: The day after you left, I had a doctors appointment...
Me: Yea?
Now I was getting scared, but I wanted to be there for her. Just as that thought left my head she began to cry hysterically again.
Me: Babe, shhhhhh, stop crying please. Just tell me what's going on.
Khloe: Jerrell I found out I was 1 month pregnant.
I had to stop for a moment and walk over to a chair. I didn't mean to leave her there crying, but I didn't know what to do. I did know one thing for sure though.
Me: Babe, I'll tell my mom and Terry, and I'll be-
Khloe: I had an abortion Jerrell. *She said wiping her eyes, which didn't make sense because she just continued to cry.*
Me: You did what!?!
I could tell she was scared, because she jumped then froze in her spot as if she forgot how to use her feet.
Khloe: I'm so, so, sooooooo sorry Jerrell.
I didn't know what to do, so I had to chuckle.
Me: I'm not even mad that you killed my child, matter of fact...I am mad. But I'm more upset at the fact that you didn't tell me. The girl I loved, the one that was everything to me. I took your virginity remember?
My voice was growing cold, just as my face was becoming hard with anger. I now had tears streaming down my face.
Khloe: Jerrell, I... I was just-
Me: You were just what? Huh Khloe!? You were what?!
Khloe: I don't-
Me: Man shut the fuck up!
She walked over to where I was sitting, tears still streaming down her face. I jumped up and looked down at her, I just couldn't believe this.
Khloe: Jerrell, I love-
Me: Man, fuck that.
I went to pick my phone up off the coffee table, when again her crying became hysterical. It took everything in me not to go swoop her up in my arms and hold her until she felt no pain; but then again I was feeling pain. What about me?
I didn't even look at her before heading to the door.
Khloe: Jerrell, PLEASE! *She yelled as though she was pleading with me*
Me: Please, what Khloe!? *I yelled while turning to face her*
The next thing I knew she was on the floor crying, and her mom was entering the living room.
Kathy: What's going on in here?
I looked at her mom, the turned back heading to the door.
Kathy: Jerrell, whats going on? Why are the both of you yelling and crying?
I stopped in my tracks and turned back around.
Me: Tell her Khlo.
Khloe: *Looking up at me with puppy dog eyes* She knows Jerrell. *She barely above a whisper*
She knew what she was doing, because I didn't hear anything after the word "she."
Me: What was that Khloe? She, what?
Khloe: She knows. * Again she was wiping her non-ending tears*
I looked at Mrs. Santiago like she had three heads.
Me: Wait, so you're ok with your daughter having an abortion without even telling the father of the child that the child was existent?
Kathy: Woah, I would never be ok with something like that. Khloe Maria Santiago, what does he mean when he says " without even telling the father of the child that the child was existent?", because you told me that he knew. You also told me that you guys agreed that it was for the best.
There Khloe went again with that loud ass crying.
Me: * Taking a deep sigh* Look I'm out, it was good to see you Mrs. Santiago.
Kathy: I'm so sorry baby, I thought you knew.
I gave her a hug then started walking. I didn't feel like taking the bus so I called Jason.
Jason: Yo, wassup?
Me: Can you come get me?
Jason: From where?
Me: The Metro
Jason: Iight, I'm on my way. 15 mins, so order me some crabcakes.
~20 mins later~
My phone was ringing, and I could only hope that it was Chase. I know the lord heard my prayers when I looked at the screen and saw his name.
Me: Yea?
Jason: I'm outside, you better have my crabcakes.
I hung up and ran out to the car, putting the crabcakes in the back seat and sitting there quietly. I had a feeling this quiet peace wouldn't last long when we got to our first light.
Jason: Aye, what's wrong with you bruh?
Me: Nothing, just get me home please.
Jason: Whatever you say young blood.
~The Next Morning~
Jerome's Point. Of. View.
Its 6 in the morning, so I knew no one would be up. I decided I was gonna go visit dad before anyone could wake up. I checked for the keys, but the rent-a-car key was no where to be found. I decided to just walk to Aunt Ray's house and ask if I can borrow her car. I think its funny how mom's little sister bought a house 2 blocks from dad's mom.
I rang the bell and waited.
Aunt Raven: Hey Rome, whats going on; why you here so early?
Me: I wanted to know if I could borrow your car.
Aunt Raven: Umm, why?
Me: To go see dad.
Aunt Raven: Oh, sure Romey.
We went inside, I gave her a hug and made my way to visit dad. Except someone had beat me to it, Jerrell was here before me.
Jerrell: Dad, I'm so lost and I don't know if I could ever forgive her. I know what you're probably thinking "go talk to Terry I sent him for you guys to have a father figure", but Terry isn't you dad. Sometimes I need a man of my own blood line to talk to me.
Me: I may not be what your looking for, but maybe I could help you.
Jerrell: You sure? Cause lately you been so in your feelings, not even mama wanna talk to you.
Me: Yea I know, but if you need me I'm gonna be here because you're my little brother.
Jerrell: Man stop being so soft.
Hmph. My little brother.
Me: Iight, so what's up?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once Rell had told me what happened I couldn't help but be angry. I'm gonna make sure my cousin finds out about this, because she's in deep need of an ass whopping and I don't hit girls.
Me: Yo, follow me to Aunt Ray's
Jerrell: Why?
Me: Cause I got her car, and I ain't got no other way to get to Nana house.
Jerrell: Silly if I got the car we gotta go back to Mama Philips house first.
Me: Just follow me lil' nigga.
Jerrell: *Sighing* Iight, lets go.
When we got there we decided to stop and say hi to Saraya.
.:: Side Note ::.
Saraya is 3 months younger than Jerome. Her name is a combination of her parents name. Her father being Samuel and her mother being Raven. The 'a' at the end is so that she wouldn't have the same nickname as her mother.
.:: Ok, Back To The Story ::.
Saraya: Hey uglies. *She said opening the door.*
Jerrell: Hi to you too short stuff
Me: Fuck outta here monkey ass.
Saraya: Aww, you guys must have missed me to make fun of me so calmly.
Jerrell: You mad?
Saraya: Nope.
We looked at each other then back at Raya.
Me & Jerrell: She mad. * We both laughed, because now she was getting mad.*
Saraya: Ugh! I swear ya'll so dumb.
Me: Anywayssssssssssss. * Put on the most bird like voice I could* I need a favor.
Saraya: Who you want me to fight?
Me: Why is that your first thought? Why I can't need a normal favor, like you lending me money or something?
Saraya: One, you always have a job, I bet you made your boss transfer you to a CVS in New York. Two, every time you ever need a favor I end up with my hair in a bun, some sweats and tims, oh and some girls face attached to my fist.
I had to laugh, that was so true. I always ask her to fight girls for me, but its just because I wouldn't dare hit a woman.
Me: Alright, that may be true.
Saraya: No, Its true.
Me: Ok, its true. I need you to handle-
Jerrell: Jerome no.
Me: Why not?
Jerrell: Just don't Jerome Damn!
Saraya: Umm, what's going on here.
Me: Jerrell's ex, current, whatever aborted his child without even telling him she was pregnant. *I blurted out as fast as I could*
Saraya: What?! Nah Rell, Imma beat her ass.
Jerrell: Look, my moms don't even know yet, and this shit I just can't deal with. Yea, I'm hurt but I still love this girl so whether or not we're together I don't want you to fight her.
Me & Saraya: Man, fuck that.
Saraya: Look at you over here defending her, when like you said you "love her". You think she love you? *She paused waiting for him to answer, but when he didn't she kept on.* If she "love you", why she didn't even have the decency to call you and say "I'm pregnant, and I want an abortion." ?
She had a point and whether or not he wanted to admit it, it was evident that he knew.
Jerrell: Like I said you're not fighting her... Yo I'm out, so if you want this ride lets go.
I got up and gave Raya a hug. Then she wispered to me, exactly what I expected her to say.
Saraya: Don't worry I'll handle it.
Me: Just chill... for now until he come to his senses.
She nodded, then I walked out to the car and got in without a word. Of course we drove in silence, Jerrell was in his feelings. Once he cut the engine off we got out the car and went inside.
_________________\/\/\/\/\/\/\/__________________
Today is Thursday and Jerrell hasn't spoken to me since Tuesday when I tols Saraya to fight Khloe. I mean, Khloe did some fucked up shit, but then again I knew where he was coming from. When I broke up with April, Raya went behind my back and jumped her in the school parking lot even though I asked her not to fight her.
I walked upstairs to the room Rell was in, me and Chase were staying in the basement while mama stayed at Nana's. I knocked on the door three times and waited to hear something.
Jerrell: Yea?
Me: Its me.
Jerrell: So?
I sighed then went in the room.
Me: Look I'm sorry iight? My heart told me that Khlo needed to be fucked up and I followed it, but I didn't think about how it would make you feel. I didn't think of how I felt when I walked out the school and saw Raya and her girls jumping April.
Jerrell nodded at me in understanding, I knew he'd forgive me but I wanted him to understand that I would always have his back.
Me: You know dad wouldn't like this, us making each other mad and shit... especially at a time like this.
Jerrell: Yea, he'd be on some shit like "Whatever ya'll feeling, gone head and feel it, just remember to let it go."
Me: Aw man,that used to be his favorite line. Well that and " If you're thinking with your heart and you're not in love you must be stuck on stupid." But yo, I got some apologies to make since I was all up in my feelings this week.
He gave me a pound(dap) and I left out to go see a bunch of people I was dismissing this week.
Chapter 5: Back To The Bay
Jerrell's Point. Of. View.
We've officially been in this house for two weeks, and next week would make it a month since we've been in New York. Crazy part is I've only spoken to Khloe that one time, yet I still called her everyday to not get an answer. There's just something fishy about that. This is gonna be a tough week, because this week is-
*Knock Knock*
I was taking out of my thoughts by the knocks to my door. I looked up as if the person were already in my room.
Me: Yeah. *I said waiting for whoever it was to show their face.*
Jason: Yo, mom said come downstairs.
Me: Iight.
I threw my phone on the bed and followed Chase downstairs.
Chase is our older brother, mom & dad's first kid. He's in his sophomore year in college. We call him Chase, because "Jase" would've been a stupid nickname. He goes to USC on an athletic scholarship. At our highschool Rome and I lived under his legacy. Not many people respect that aside from being involved in sports Rome wants to be a Neuro Surgeon, and I want to open a Daycare.
I sat on the end of the sofa while Chase sat on the other end and mom and Rome sat on the other couch.
Faith: I know you guys miss home, and so do I. So I was thinking that maybe we can go on Monday and stay the whole week, seeing how Friday is...Friday is...
Right then and there she started to tear up, everyone knew what Friday was already.
Jerome: I'm going. *He said like he and mom were beefin' or something*
Jason: Mama Imma go, but I gotta go back to Cali from there, so can you arrange that for me please?
Jerome: Man fuck ya flight to Cali, real shit you probably only tryna get back to shorty.
With that he got up and walked out. Now mom didn't even know what to do.
Me: Mom don't worry we wouldn't miss it for the world you know that. I gave her a hug then made my way back to my room.
Jerome's Point. Of. View
~Monday 1 p.m~
We just landed in Tampa, and Aunt Ray came to get us from the airport. I'm not gonna lie I missed home, but I don't want to be bothered with anyone. Everyone handles this week differently, my way is not dealing with anyone.
Since Thursday when I cursed at Chase we haven't really spoke, he tries to check on me, but like I said I don't want to be bothered.
Aunt Raven: So how was the flight guys?
Faith: It was good, nice and fast.
Jerrell: Yea, it was cool.
Jason: I'm just glad that we get to spend this week here, because this all would be so crazy if we had to go through this in New York.
Me: Get the fuck outta here Chase, you didn't even help us move, you just showed up when you fucking felt like it. Just the other day you were worrying about going back to S.C when everybody knows that Friday is-
Faith: Thats enough Jerome, I been letting you get away with your bullshit, but now shut the fuck up before I come back there and fuck you up!
Jason: Ma calm down, you know he's always up in his feelings when this week comes around.
Jerrell's Point. Of. View
There he go making everything salty. Always on some fuck boy shit like no one else is in pain.
~6 hours later~
We've been at Nana's house all day,but Jason, Jerome, and I are gonna stay at Mama Philips until we go back to New York. I'm glad we're here, we need to be around family and I now have the chance to see what's up with Khlo.
Me: Hey Nana. *I said walking into the living room.*
Nana: Hey baby, what's up?
Me: Nothing, I just wanted to know if you minded me going to visit Khloe?
Nana: Not at all sweetie, call your mom and tell her that your over there though.
Me: Ok Nana, no problem.
Within 30 minutes I'd called mom and let her know, and I was now arriving at Khloe's house. Her mom opened the door for me and hugged me like I was her child...not gonna lie I miss chillen over here.
Kathy: Wait in the living room, I wanna surprise her because she's been moppy since you left.
Me: Iight,cool.
I sat on the couch and waited for her to come out.I looked to the walkway that connected to the living room when I heard her footsteps, I really missed my baby.
Khloe: Mom I did not leave my sneakers in the middle of the-
When she saw me she tensed up like she saw a ghost. I don't know if it was just because she was surprised or she didn't want to see me.
Khloe: Jerrell *She said lightly sighing*
Me: Hey baby, wassup? *I gave her a warm smile,but she still didn't move from her spot*
Khloe: Hey. *She said softly as she nervously rubbed the back of her neck*
Me: *I chuckled at her* Hey, can I have a hug? A kiss? Some love from my girlfriend?
Khloe: I'm sorry. How are you babe? *She asked as she walked over to me wrapping her arms around my neck.
Me: *As I wrapped my arms around her small waist* I'm ok, just missed you baby.
The look in her eyes read that something was wrong, but I don't see why she wouldn't just tell me.
Khloe: I missed you too, you wanna watch a movie?
Me: Sure,but only if you tell me what's wrong.
She then pushed herself off of me, now I know somethings wrong.
Khloe: *Nervously chuckling* Nothings wrong.
Author's Point. Of. View
As the watched Fat Albert in her living room, the wheels in Jerrell's head wouldn't stop turning. There were so many questions he didn't have answers to.
1. Why was she avoiding his calls?
-Although she didn't ignore any of them, she still didn't answer them. Heck she didn't return any either.
2. Why was she so tense when they hugged?
3. Why didn't she give him a kiss?
4. Why was she so nervous?
Jerrell's Point. Of. View.
That's it, I gotta know what's going on with Khloe.As soon as I was about to ask her what was going on she asked me something.
Khloe: So, what brings you back to the bay? I know ya mama ain't drive all this way just so you can see me.
Me: Well we didn't drive, but your right we didn't come back just to see you. We came back for my dad.
Khloe: Aww you call Terry dad now, but what di-
Me: No, we're here for my real dad. Friday is the anniversary of his passing.
Khloe: Oh, I'm so sorry baby. *She then kissed me for the first time since I got here.*
Me: Its ok, I'm just glad we came back because I need to be around family at a time like this.Especially since Rome has been all up in his feelings.
Khloe: Everyone grieves differently Rell.
Me: Yea I know, but can we change the subject though?
Khloe: Sure. What do you wanna talk about?
Me: Lets talk about why we only spoke once in almost a month. Please just be honest with me.
The Introduction. (The Philips/Pierce Family)
Jerome’s Point. Of. View
Honestly, I would rather be out somewhere doing something other being in the house packing. Hell I don’t even wanna leave. This is home, I grew up here. I’m happy for Terry, I really am, but he’s the reason why we’re leaving. He got this new job opportunity in New York & now we have to pack up & leave. I picked up the picture frame with my dad’s prom picture & smiled. He & mom were high school sweethearts; sometimes I wish he was still alive to see the great men that Relly & I have become. He’d be proud of mom; he’d probably love Nay too.
Jerrell’s Point. Of. View
I feel like I’m leaving everything behind, my friends, the girl I waited a whole beginning of a school year to approach, and most of all memories. Still even though I’m leaving all that, I’m still kinda geeked about leaving. I can’t wait to experience New York. Ahh man, I’m so proud of Tee… I knew he was a great guy since mom introduced us to him. He’s a great step dad to me & Rome, & a great father to my little princess Nay. He’s even a wonderful husband to mom.
Author’s Point. Of. View
The Philips/Pierce family had been through alot. Now in July of 2011 they were getting ready to leave behind a big part of them, but here’s some insight into who they are…
Jerome Jermaine Philips- Born: January 6th, 1994; Second child to parents: Jermaine & Faith Philips. Football & basketball star at his high school, entering his senior year.
Jerrell Jeremiah Philips- Born: March 30th, 1996; third & last child for Jermaine & Faith Philips. Entering his junior year at high school, because he skipped a grade in junior high. Also on the football and basketball team.
Faith Evangeline Pierce- Mother of four (Jason, Jerome, Jerrell, & Janaya). Widow to Jermaine Jeremiah Philips. Two months after their wedding, they found out that Faith was three months pregnant with their second child. They were married on May 15th, 1993. He passed 12 years later. She took a year to start dating again, & in 2007 she was in love and engaged to Terrence Pierce. She is a well-known entertainment lawyer.
Terrence Akeem Pierce- Husband of Faith Pierce & father of Janaya Marie Pierce. Married Faith on June 15th, 2007. Their first child together was born on May 12th, 2008. He is a sports director, now becoming official head director of all Knicks basketball games.
Chapter 1
Chris
“Chris this will be your room. I know this transition might be hard for you, but I want you to get your life together while you’re here.” My father says while opening the door to the room.
“Babe , his daughter just passed. Let’s just let him get settled in & comfortable.” his wife, Victoria, says to him.
To be honest, I just want to chill right now. I want to think things through and try to get my shit together before anything else.
“Chris dinner will be done soon, be downstairs in 30 minutes.” My father says before walking out of my room.
I decided to unpack some of my shit to waste time. As I put my clothes in the drawers, I decided to turn my phone on for the first time since that day. Seeing the picture of Avaia on my lock screen gave me chills.
Flashback
“Chris you’ve been gone for two days! You can’t leave me and your daughter here whenever you want! Take care of responsibilities and-”
“I am taking care of my responsibilities Ma ! This is what I gotta do !”
“Daddy!! I missed you so muchh!” Avaia yelled running into my arms
One day she’ll see that I'm doing all this for her.
I hug her tight “ I missed you too babygirl. But you know I’ll always come back for you , right?”
She nodded her head and hugged me tighter.
“Look Ava, I got you something.” I tell her pulling the stuffed Minnie Mouse from my bag.
Her eyes lit up “ Thanks daddy! Im gonna keep her forever!’”
“Make sure you take care of her because next weekend we’re going to her house in Disney World. “
She screamed so loud , running all around the house.
I know I can’t make up for time we’ve lost but seeing that smile makes it all worth it.
“Chris… Chris come downstairs for dinner.” My father says interrupting my thoughts.
I sighed and nodded. Damn I miss my daughter. I unpack a picture of Avaia and put on my dresser before heading downstairs.
As I walked to the table, I see that my dad’s wife prepared chicken, collard greens, and macaroni and cheese.
It’s been awhile since I’ve had a home cooked meal. Momma always had late night shifts at the hospital, so I would just get fast-food for Avaia and I.
I piled my plate with food and started grubbin’.
“Boy put that fork down. We say grace first in this house.” My father said.
“Oh my bad.” I say apologizing.
“Gracious Lord, we thank you for the food we are about to receive for the nourishment of our bodies, in Jesus name, Amen.” Victoria says.
We all say amen in unison before eating our food.
“So Chris, you know you’re not just going to sit around the house while you’re here right?” My father asked.
No shit.
I knew he was going to make me get a job or some shit while I’m here.
“You will be attending UCLA. I have connections, so I can get you in with no problem.” My dad says proudly.
The fuck? College life isn’t for me, I’m not doing this shit.
“Nah I’ll just find a job somewhere, the college boy thing isn’t for me-“
“No. If you’re going to live in this house, you’re going to school. And yes you will have a job. I own an auto shop, and you will work there when you’re not at school or studying.”
Wow, he just has my whole life planned for me.
“And what if I don’t want to do this?”
“Then you’ll be on the next flight back to Virginia. Look, your mother and I just want to do what’s best for you.”
“Think about Avaia, she would want you to do what’s best.” Victoria said.
After a few seconds of processing everything, I decided to go with my father’s plan.
“Fine. When do I start?”
“Registration starts tomorrow morning.”
I’m going to do this for Avaia. I want Avaia to be proud that her daddy went to college and is doing something positive for a change. I know she’s looking down on me wanting me to do what’s best.
I’m doing all of this for you baby girl.
Giselle
“Ms.Basara , we’ve arrived at your destination. Would you like me to call your parents to let them know you’ve arrived safely.”
“No thanks.”
They probably don’t care anyways. I can’t believe they sent me here ”to become more well rounded”, I just wanted to take classes online and be done with it. I hate having to meet new people ,I always get judged for being wealthy and wanting nice things. That’s just me. The only good thing about this is that my boyfriend Ryan is here.
“Giselle, I know I’m only your chauffeur but I’ve known you since you were little. You’re an amazing young lady but you're very guarded. While you’re here , I want you to open up. You’re gonna do great I know it.”
John was more than just a chauffeur for me. When my parents were no where to be found he’d drive me around for hours until I fell asleep.
“Thanks so much John.” I say hugging him
We say our goodbyes and I walk to the registration office to get my classes. Walking around campus I can already see the bitches giving me side eyes. I hate jealous females. I just focus on where i’m going. All of sudden my book fly from hands and I almost fall.
“What the fuck?” I yell getting annoyed. Here we go already with people trying me.
“Oh shit, my bad.” the guy who bumped into em says while picking up my books. I stand over him waiting for him to hand them to me , I hope this nigga didn’t do it on purpose just to try to talk to me. I dont have time to hear any weak ass lines.
“You good?” he asks and I finally get a good look him. I can’t lie , he is sexy af.
“Uh, yeah I-”
I couldn’t even get my words out.
“Giselle, is this nigga bothering you?” Ryan says coming behind me.
“No babe, he was just helping me out.” I say staring into the stranger’s eyes.
“Aight nigga, she don’t need your help no more. You can leave.” Ryan says.
“Ryan don’t be rude, he-”
“Nah , it’s all good” he says walking away.
I don’t know what it is about him, but for some reason I was wishing I could see him again.
Prologue
Chris
" Avaia, I told you to put your shoes on five minutes ago. What are you doing?"
" Daddy , I don't want to move. Who's gonna play with grandma?"
I could never stay mad at a face like that. She melts my heart everytime she talks. She's the reason I'm doing all of this.
"Grandma will be fine. At our new house, you'll have your own room & grandma can come anytime you want her to."
"Like a sleep over?"
"Yes Avaia , now put your shoes on."
She gets her pink sandals and I grab our last box. Damn it's been a crazy year , from Avaia's mom dying from an overdose to me getting shot trying to get this paper. Things are finally looking up for me & Avaia.
I want to do right by her, I need to become a better father. My mother and I are the only two people she has. I quit fucking with the drug game to set a better example.
I have a little money saved up to get Avaia and I out the hood. I found a nice condo far away from here, so we can start fresh.
As Avaia and I walked out the door, I began loading boxes into the back of my car.
“Avaia stay close to the porch, don’t run out into the street.” I told her.
Avaia is a very busy body, she’s always moving around.
As I loaded the boxes up, Avaia ran around in circles blowing bubbles.
“Daddy come play with me please!”
“Not right now. Daddy has to finish loading up the car.”
“Aw okay.” shes said as she continued to play.
I chuckled as I shook my head.
I love my daughter.
After loading up the car, I noticed a very familiar car coming my direction.
The fuck is he doing here? I’m done with the drugs and shit. He has no reason to come around me and my daughter.
I pulled out my gun, before walking down the street closer to the car.
“Avaia go in the house and find grandma.”
“Whats wrong daddy?”
“Avaia go-”
Before I could finish my sentence, shots were being fired.
All I could feel is pain as I hit the ground. Everything began to turn black.
***
I woke up feeling like shit.
“Oh thank god!” my mother cried while she kissed all over me.
As I tried to sit up, I felt a sharp pain in my chest.
“Aw shit. Momma what happened. Where’s Avaia?” I asked her.
She looked at me while tears filled up in her eyes.
“Christopher you were shot 3 days ago and-” Her cries began to take over, she couldn’t finish her sentence.
“And what? Where’s my baby girl? Is she okay?”
I began to worry, this can’t be happening.
“Christopher, Avaia didn’t make it.”
My baby girl didn’t make it? My love, my everything? The only person in this world that made me want to live is gone?
Me and my mother shared a moment of grief. I couldn't believe it, it's like I'm in a nightmare & I'll wake up & see her smiling face again.
“Christopher it’s not safe out here for you. I told you to leave this drug thing alone a long time ago before it got too deep. Now look at what has happened.”
I know she’s not telling that all this shit has happened because of me.
“Momma you know I would never put Avaia in danger! I-”
“Lower your voice when you’re talking to me, I’m still your mother. I’m not questioning your parenting skills. All I’m saying is if you would have never got involved we would not be here.”
I had nothing to say, because I know she is right. My ma has been telling me for years to leave this shit alone, but I was in too deep, now it has come back to haunt me. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy getting out of the game, but I didn’t think my daughter would be the sacrifice. Those motherfuckers really tried to kill me. I'm already thinking of ways to get these niggas back.
“I want you to go live with you father in California.” My mom said interrupting my thoughts.
The fuck?
“Hell na, momma I don’t want to see that nigga-”
“Boy watch your mouth. This is not up for discussion Chris. You’re leaving tomorrow and thats the end of it.”
“But momma I-”
She gave me this look, meaning I should shut up and not argue back.
I sighed before closing my eyes to think about Avaia.
My whole world has came crashing down. How am I suppose to live with myself knowing my actions caused the death of my daughter? Then momma wants me to live on the other side of the country.
The west coast is not for me, I’m an east coast nigga. VA born and raised, what I look like going to Cali with a bunch of lame niggas?
I started to get drowsy from these meds they got me on
" Chris get some rest, I'm going to take you see Avaia tomorrow before you leave."
****
Pulling up to the graveyard, I already felt my heart getting heavy. All this shit is so surreal, earlier I went to the condo seeing her room and the mural I painted with her name on it. It almost felt like she was still there.
I walked up to the tombstone. It was covered in stuffed animals, flowers & candles. I kneeled down and laid an engraved necklace Avaia , my baby girl
I felt the tears running down my face . I can't take this, it should be me instead of her.
"I'm so sorry Avaia." I say over & over
"Chris I’m sorry, but it’s time to go. We're going to miss your flight."
Leaving is so hard but I know it's for the best... Cali here I come.
kingsleyyy:
Speakin in tongues yabba dabba dabba dada voila.
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