I'm an idiot and I can't believe it took me this long to come to such a FUCKING OBVIOUS CONCLUSION but I'm demisexual. I am SO ANGRY at myself. This would have saved me so much FUCKING TROUBLE. ARGH. I have lied. To. So. Many. People. About. Having crushes on celebrities. Finding people in my class attractive. Just. So. I. Could. Feel. Normal. I thought something was wrong with me? I was never sure if I was gay or not because I have only ever been attracted to one person. I have had conversations with my bi friend about female celebrities and who's the hottest and I just picked women that I admired because NONE OF THEM WERE ATTRACTIVE. She was like "Marzia right?" And I was like "HAHA YEAH HER TOO." And I can't tell my friends because then I would have to explain why I know I'm demi and not ace which involves telling everyone that I have a crush on my best friend. And no one wants that. So I swear to GOD past me. Why are you such an IDIOT? Now I'm stuck in a hole and I know my friends will completely accept me when I do tell them but I can't just yet because then I would have to explain crap-tonnes of shit that I've said so I could pretend to be sexually attracted to fucking Maya Hawke or Zendaya but I'm really not I just love them as people so yeah now I'm just ready to die.