Tradfem - Blog Posts

it is a parent's job to love their children invariably, to encourage them to follow their dreams, to teach them to respect themselves and others. it is not a parent's job to shame their children for not meeting the expectations for their life that their parent had drawn up for them. children are a blessing, they are also their own person, not just an extension of their parent.

some women who are blessed with the ability to carry children are not deserving of motherhood

many women who unfortunately lack this ability are extremely deserving of motherhood.

i am always told how i'd make a wonderful mother. my husband reminds me ever day, but i know i can never give him biological children. and i can't help but feel lesser for that.

on the bright side though, i guess we can adopt kids into a loving and stable home.

a man who seeks to force a woman to submit to him via violence and manipulation is a weak man insecure in his masculinity beyond the surface. true loving submission is not forced but comes naturally when a woman feeling loved, protected, and allowed to live in her feminine energy

Men and women have different roles in society, and different needs and desires. the feminine and masculine complement each other. One cannot discard the worth and necessity of the other. femininity is nothing without masculinity and masculinity is nothing without femininity.

Her body her choice right?

There is something so alluring about this. A simpler life. The security and peace of a tradition couple. Home cooking from scratch. Growing your own food and having no commute and no boss. A simple life isn’t taboo, more of us should be living it.

What do you think is the best part of embracing a traditionalist dynamic?

I think the best part is being able to truly step into my femininity. I spent most of my childhood & teenage years being told that I was (effectively) a broken man and needed to girlboss. I wasn’t able to express how much I wanted to be a wife & mom and how much I wanted to devote myself to my family or heavily prefer dresses and skirts. I feel like I’ve always been told I’m a defective boy, but with the more traditionalist dynamic, I’m told I’m a woman, and that’s a beautiful thing to be.

What do you think is the biggest misconception of being a trad?

Oo this is a good question!

I think the biggest misconception is that we don’t have voices/opinions. I have tons of opinions and thoughts that I share with my husband and if he’s doing something I disagree with, I vocalize it, we talk about it, and then we move forward. Yes- my husband has final say most of the time, but he is always open to hearing me and coming to a decision together.

I’ve had a cute little llama xylophone for over a year- a gift from a friend when we found out I was pregnant with my daughter- and now she’s big enough to sit up by herself and play with it. It was a bit of a shock that made me tear up a little when I realized it.

Time flies. And God is so good. 🩷

hello i hope you’re doing well! i am not aspiring to be a tradwife by any means, rather my aspirations are completely opposite. nonetheless, i respect women who choose to be stay-at-home mothers. i can’t ever see myself feminine because i don’t identify with it but i truly respect and admire feminine women from a distance. i always wanted to ask – many traditional feminine oriented blogs some questions and i am surprised i found one that allows asking questions! though i shouldn’t be too surprised, since ive seen a lot of hatred being spewed at them by a lot of women on tumblr. one tumblr ask told a traditional femininity blog to kill themselves! it’s very disturbing to me how they preach girls support girls and continue to self project their extreme hatred and toxicity. i am aware that yes tradwives tend to criticize modern feminism but so far i’ve seen too many bitter modern feminists who don’t seem to be too secure in their life choices. if they are secure, why pick on someone who chooses to live differently?

what are your thoughts? if i, am very secure in my choice to be career oriented, i don’t ever see myself picking on women who believe in traditional gender roles? why do modern feminists try too hard to claim biological determinism is a social construct? sorry for long question there but i am curious about what your thoughts about this? thank you!

If I'm totally honest, I think it's because humans- as a whole, not just women- have a proclivity for envy, as well as a misunderstanding of what most traditionally feminine women want.

Most of us just want to be left alone to run our households and love our families and neighbors. What many modern feminists think we want is to shove all women back into the home, which simply isn't true. Am I going to attest that I am far happier at home than I was in my career? Absolutely, because it's the truth. Do I also realize that this life, this career in and of itself, is not meant for everyone? Also yes! I have tons of friends that don't want to be SAHW/SAHMs for whatever reason, and that's respectable!

My other point- envy. Not that I think they're envious of being able to stay home, but I do think that social media highlights only the good things and they perceive tradwives to be ultra-happy all the time, and that is what they're envious about. They see posts of smiling wives or people having fun with their families and think "why can't or don't I have that? why can't I do both?" which leads to envy, which leads to some very hateful comments & views about our community.

I will agree with you that the idea of the "girls supporting girls" is totally contradicted by the idea of them being hateful. While I have my skepticism about modern feminism, I wholeheartedly will defend their right to choose they want and ask that they do the same with me.

I have lots of thoughts and opinions, so if you'd like to ask more, feel free to DM me! I'm always down for a goodhearted debate or chat.

Something I enjoy about my marriage:

My husband actively pushes me to have a life outside our house. I want to go swimming and workout? Fantastic, let him know how much dues are for the gym. I went on a walk? He wants pictures, where did I go, what did I see! I want to join a church group? Absolutely!

He sees me more than just someone to be kept at home. He sees me as whole person with wants and needs. That is more than I could ever ask for. 💕

I will never understand people who say you should have fun instead of getting married young as if those are mutually exclusive.

The only explanations to saying that is either that your idea of fun is fucking anything that breathes without it being considered cheating, or that you’re dating someone toxic.

There is no reason you should be dating someone if you think marrying them would prevent you from doing things you enjoy.

Either find a better partner, or get real hobbies and interests beyond sex.

When I say “people against getting married young” I don’t mean people against getting married the second you turn 18. I mean the people who yell about “enjoy your 20s don’t tie yourself to someone!”

Target has a bunch of sweater tights that are wonderful for making dresses multi-season!! I swear I’m going to practically live in mine now, they’re so comfortable and soft!!

Update: he was SO over the moon when we finally got to eat it, he said it’s the best he’s ever had. I will have to be careful and save it for special occasions or else I will end up with a chubby husband 🤣💕

Something I never thought I’d do:

My husband mentioned before we got married that he loves cheesecake. I took a mental note but was too busy working to actually do anything about it.

Since I came home in October, and he came home from deployment, I’ve been less stressed and happy as can be. So what did I do tonight?

I baked a cheesecake simply because he likes it.

That is something I never thought I’d do.

I love how people automatically assume that being a homemaker is a decision that doesn’t account for the wants or needs of the woman + her family. Or that our husbands see us as not human- like where on Earth is this logic coming from????

''A woman should submit"

Are you a dog? A child? A servant? You are your own person with your own opinions, wants and needs. You are smart enough to know what's best for you. You deserve to be treated as an equal not as lesser. Being a homemaker isn't what you think it is. You're young; go travel, have fun, get a job you love, study, live your potential and have new experiences instead of daydreaming about erasing who you are and dedicating your entire life for someone who doesn't see you as a person.

You are very respectful and I appreciate that about you so I’m gonna make this nice short and sweet

1. This is my blog full of my opinions

2. My life (which you probably don’t know about)

3. I’m an adult

4. I am capable of understanding the difference being guided and being abused

5. If you are so bothered by me choosing the way I think and how I would like to live my life you are more then welcome to ignore me or leave

Being traditional doesn’t mean I can’t study or travel or do anything cause I marry a traditional man and want a traditional relationship

When traditional women chose the right man for us more often then not these desires are fulfilled even more then anyone can imagine

A husband isn’t meant to hold you back but be your biggest friend and supporter

A husband should be able enhance a woman’s life not downgrade it

I get it not everyone is for tradlife and that’s okay you live your life and I’ll live mine

Thank you very much for your question and I hope you have a wonderful day you wonderful person

Something I never thought I’d do:

My husband mentioned before we got married that he loves cheesecake. I took a mental note but was too busy working to actually do anything about it.

Since I came home in October, and he came home from deployment, I’ve been less stressed and happy as can be. So what did I do tonight?

I baked a cheesecake simply because he likes it.

That is something I never thought I’d do.

If you are a good leader, your woman will follow. No need for force.

You'd be such a good little trad wife. I'd fucking ruin you just to build you back up into something that is entirely mine

God I love that so much

And peaceful

Having a man lead and make the decisions for you is so comforting 💕

This is so underrated nowadays. Your grandparents were likely this way and your grandpa was probably happy to work hard and provide for the family in a way that took the burden off everyone else. Respect and appreciation goes both ways! Modern women have a certain entitlement that puts resentment in the mind of men. Well if you’re going to compete with him verbally, then compete by helping pay bills. You want a man that takes care of you? Then take care of him!

How to be a Good Submissive Wife

1. Cook lots of healthy food for the family to help them stay big and strong.

2. Always wear pretty dresses.

3. Always wear pretty clothes and be clean, fresh and well groomed.

4. Never take birth control, children are a blessing.

5. Keep the house beautiful, clean and bright. Make it a peaceful home.

6. Help him relax after work by waiting at the door to greet him.

7. Be a good mommy to all the babies and never shout or get cross.

8. Be good, quiet, doting and adoring when in public. Let the whole world see how good a wife you are.

9. Stay fit and healthy, so you’re body is always ready to make another baby.

10. Never ever say no to him. He knows best, so you must trust his judgement and do as he says.

11. Be a good girl when out and about.

12. Be proud to be carrying his babies and don't hide the baby bump. Enjoy being pregnant by him. This is what you were born for.

13. Tell him your problems. Don’t let them make you unhappy, frowny or grumpy. He will know how to fix them.

13. Tell him every how much you love and appreciate him.

14. Love and look after his extended family, he likes knowing you respect and care for them.

15. Always kiss him goodbye, hello and thank you.

16. Sit on his lap whenever he wants you too. Be a good girl and let him enjoy his innocent submissive wife.

19. Go to bed whenever he tells you to. A good wife is well rested, strong and ready every morning to make pleasing her husband the main priority of her day, every day.

Window flowers ♡

This extends to people of any gender, too! Women identifying people should get to choose the course of their life without shame, men identifying people should get to choose the same (not this, oh they can choose any career because Privilege, I mean they get to be a homemaker if they want and be gnc if they want without toxic masculinity backlash), nonbinary people, agender people, genderqueer people; no matter what gender (or non-gender) you identify as, the ability to choose one’s own life should be paramount to other peoples’ opinions!

No matter your identity, do what you want to do, do what you love, and don’t let anyone tell you different! 

Making fun of girls who dream of being a wife and stay-at-home-mom actually doesn’t make you progressive or feminist or cool, it just makes you a person who shits on someone else’s dream, a.k.a an asshole 

Love is love, no matter the decade!!!  ❤️

Photos of gay couples from Sage Sohier’s 1980s collection At Home With Themselves

Anyone else overwhelmed with modern life expectations?

Like I could probably have graduated some housewife school like three times over now. I know the cleaning hacks. I know the social planning. I can perform the femininity, in skirts and pants. I know the sewing (functional and recreational) and the crafts. I can cook very well. I know other people of varying gender identities who can do the same (with or without the femininity, as it were).

What I can’t do is focus long enough to write 16 pages of essay on topics I am burnt out on (because of my university taking away spring break cause the Greek life kids couldn’t be responsible about the pandemic and not party for five minutes last semester), to further my education, for a career I never planned to even have as a kid, so I can be self sufficient (good) and avoid being told I’m wasting my potential (bad). Even though I’m smart enough for it, it’s not what I’m truly passionate about.

It’s all so much, like in another life I could have had a couple kids and a husband and a reasonably clean house and been living my best life by now, but instead all I have are increasingly taxing assignments, the single life, a messy house, no time for anything else and enough stress and anxiety to have been institutionalized over back then. Like I just want to be a homemaker. Thanks capitalism

Happy International Womxn’s Day!

To all who identify with the feminine~

Love to see some public broadcast television defense of trans rights, especially in the sports section! This stuff gets swept under the rug by sexist coaches and toxic sports culture way too often, and it’s really nice to see someone--especially as @kuriquinn said, an old American white dude, the demographic probably least likely to put out that defense--stand up for Mack Beggs like that!

People don’t always have to understand, so long as they are understanding and supportive.

Sportscaster Dale Hansen defends student wrestler Mack Beggs and takes a stand against transphobia

Wholesome family life  ❤️

In the kitchen, 1958

This is a completely valid point! Aprons are far more utilitarian than they are given credit for, and too many people see the apron as some frilly little accessory because homemakers happened to appreciate their usefulness and worth.  I wish you all the best in your apron-using endeavors!!

can we eliminate the association of aprons with housewives? i own an apron and i live in it. i'm not the stay-at-home-mom type. i'm not the one who'd look after the kids and cook and clean all day. but i made this apron myself, and whenever i'm doing anything remotely messy, i wear it. doing dishes? apron. making banana bread? apron. painting, whether watercolor or acrylic? apron. using glue for anything? apron. repotting my succulents? apron. they're so useful. it's ridiculous. my dad called me 'little suzy homemaker' yesterday. i literally do not give a shit. this is a nice shirt and i will not ruin it with cake batter, karen

I highly agree with this.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am all for breaking the heteronormative mold and rising above oppression. But one thing that I do idolize about that time was the fact that, for some families (including my great grandparents), a family, dog, vehicle and mortgage (not rent!) could be supported with one person’s income. Of course, this varied person to person due to the fact that there were many other intersectional factors at play, but it was true for some.

Nowadays, in most places, you’re lucky to get a half-decent house or a reasonable apartment with both partners in a relationship working multiple jobs, and even then they have to worry about food and bills, nevermind transportation and pets. 

This is why we need a wealth tax and some serious redistribution.

Maybe the fertility rate for The United States wouldn’t be so dismally low if we had an economy the could support single-earner households.