Understanding - Blog Posts

Lol, if only you knew how Mark works.

I’ve done enough trolling for one day

my work is done

Mental pain brings knowledge, understanding, energy and uplift.

Sometimes I meditate well, and sometimes I don't. In general, I have had more impressive experiences meditating when I'm in pain, suffering, or fear than when I'm just peaceful and comfortable.

In my experience, meditation makes mental suffering such as trauma worse. It is a pain that feels like picking and tearing a wound. No matter how much I wanted to run away, I couldn't. There were also cases where pain, fear, anxiety, etc. suddenly occurred like a seizure during daily life. I tried a lot to escape from them, but eventually I realized it was no use and gave up. I turn to myself when pain arises. And every time that happens, these pains get stronger and bigger and continue like an endless abyss, but at some point they disappear.

I suddenly gain some knowledge, some understanding from these sufferings. And when I apply this knowledge to myself and reinterpret situations and reality, that is, when I change my perspective, it evokes in me a feeling of comfort and a sense of a constant flowing current. I am buzzing and vibrating.

It certainly doesn't feel very good, but something definitely feels better.

I would like to encourage you to apply these when you encounter the inevitable problems in life. There is no point in doing something. You just have to endure it. Change happens when you stop resisting and just let the pain be and focus on who you are.

And if you want to experience some progress in your meditation, I encourage you to look for your mental pain, fears and anxieties. When you face them, they come to mind. However, when you ignore them and focus on your being, they break down into energy and integrate into you. It's physical vitality and feeling and feeling better. It gives you strength and energy, like putting together a piece of dictation.

Irish Myths

VOL 9. The SELKIE. An Irish Mermaid Story

The Selkie’s Secret

In a forgotten corner of the Emerald Isle, where cliffs stood like ancient guardians and the waves whispered forgotten lullabies, there dwelled a fisherman named Eamon. His cottage clung to the rugged coast, its thatched roof weathered by countless storms. Eamon was a man of few words, his eyes etched with the sorrows of a lifetime spent chasing elusive fish and memories.

One tempest-laden evening, as rain drummed upon the windowpanes and the sea roared its defiance, Eamon stumbled upon a sight that would forever alter the course of his existence. There, nestled amidst the seaweed-strewn rocks, lay a treasure—a seal pelt of silver-gray, soft as moonlight and shimmering with otherworldly grace. Eamon’s gnarled fingers traced its edges, and he knew he held something more than mere fur. This was the skin of a Selkie—a creature of myth and melancholy.

The legends whispered of Selkies—of their dual existence, their fluidity between land and sea. By day, they swam as seals, their sleek bodies slicing through the icy depths. But when the moon hung low, they shed their skins, emerging as ethereal women, their eyes reflecting the mysteries of the abyss.

Eamon hid the pelt beneath his bed, its presence a secret shared only with the wind and the salt. Days turned into weeks, and his cottage became a sanctuary for the lost and the weary. Sailors sought refuge from raging storms, widows mourned husbands swallowed by the sea—all found solace within those walls. Yet Eamon’s gaze often strayed to the hidden pelt, wondering if the Selkie would return.

Then, one moonless night, as the stars blinked like ancient eyes, Eamon heard it—a melody that tugged at his heart, a lament woven from moonbeams and longing. He rushed to the window, and there she stood: the Selkie. Her skin was pale as foam, her hair a cascade of seaweed green. Her eyes held the wisdom of ages, and her lips curved in both fear and hope.

She was naked, vulnerable—a creature caught between realms. Eamon retrieved the pelt, its silvery strands slipping through his fingers like water. He held it out to her, voice barely a whisper. “Take it,” he said. “Be free.”

The Selkie’s tears glistened. She reached for the pelt, her fingers trembling. But then she hesitated, torn between love and duty. For Selkies faced a cruel choice: to remain with mortal lovers or return to the sea. Their hearts were bound by moonlight and salt spray.

Eamon understood. He had glimpsed eternity in her eyes, tasted salt and starlight on her lips. And so, with a bittersweet smile, he released her. The Selkie donned her pelt, her form shifting until she became a sleek seal once more. She nuzzled his cheek, a silent farewell, before slipping into the waves.

As the sea swallowed her, Eamon wept—for love unspoken, for a Selkie lost, and for the ache that would haunt him till his dying day. He walked the cliffs thereafter, eyes scanning the horizon, listening for her song—a melody carried by the wind, sung by a Selkie who danced beneath the moon.

And so, the legend of Eamon and the Selkie passed from generation to generation—a tale of sacrifice, of love that transcended realms, and of a fisherman who held the sea’s secrets close to his heart.

And there, my friend, ends our journey—a whisper of magic and longing that lingers in the salt-laden air, where Selkies still dance upon moonlit shores

Christy,

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The Power of Fear

In his inauguration speech, President Franklin D. Roosevelt stated, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”. He followed this with gratitude, that the fears that were plaguing the nation at the time was not a disease, but financial constraint and that we as a nation could overcome if we worked together.  

Fear, is not all bad. In moments of danger, fear can kick start your reflexes allowing us a greater advantage and even in non-immediate danger fear can bring about clarity and a different way of thinking. But fear can also be blinding, and when left unchecked it can grow until it becomes all-consuming. It is important when dealing with one’s fear that you truly think about what you are fearing and where that fear comes from—choosing only to work with the fear of an actual threat.

Franklin D. Roosevelt explained in his speech that the fear people were feeling could paralyze them and make things worse if they let it, in these current times it is important to understand how these small fears can grow and manipulate and take over. There are the fears of many Americans are based in the unknown, fears of potential violence and financial loss. But those who are coming to this country have true fear, fear that powers them through hundreds of miles of desert, and starvation. Fear of starvation and violence, death and disease. They show how fear can produce action over insurmountable odds.

What we also must remember is again how this fear can grow and how it can be stopped. The United States entered World War II after the bombing of Pearl Harbor, but by then, fear of the unknown and fear of an uncertain future had killed hundreds, thousands and millions throughout the world due to famine, panic and genocide. While we all have our fears, we must also think about how we can act when that fear is small, easier to conquer and what it may mean for others who are living in more present danger than ourselves.  

 My family and I are alive today thanks to the countries that rose above their fear of the unknown to help those who were running for their lives, and the members of my family who were able to use that fear of death and persecution to empower them to walk at least 2,000 miles to start to a sanctuary, Tehran. We must not let our fear blind us to our potential and the true victims of hate and violence and the unknown.

New Instant Classics

Diversity has *sprung* into mainstream films--no, not saying there still aren’t issues there because there definitely are, but there are different people making films, starting in films, writing in films, directing films--everything that makes more diverse stories be told. Considering the large number of crap sequels and prequels that have flooded cinemas, there stories being told by film, books, thru art...even Youtube, are welcome. Two films that recently I would define as instant classics, I put here because they are films that tell a classic story and would have been long time classics had they been allowed to tell generations ago, both stories also I didn’t realize until I began to type, star male leads who are portraying their real life, personal stories: Kumail Nanjiani and Menashe Lustig.

The Big Sick is great for a lot of reasons, a modern twist on Romeo and Juliet it deals with cultural differences and inner conflict in both a light-hearted and serious way. It’s hard to go not on a twenty page rant about this film, as everyone can agree with both Kumail and Emily about their romantic relationship, but I believe what spoke to many who saw it—and what makes it an instant classic—is that we see the strength of a relationship at it’s worse, and how some people are just intertwined in who you are. I will not speak on behalf of the character of Emily or the real-life woman, but I do believe even with her annoyance that had the situation been reversed, she still would have been there for him.

Long story short, Menashe tells the story of due to cultural conditions must get remarried after his wife’s passing in order to get his son back. While I struggle to understand the BS argument that’s never made, we also watch Menashe and Menashe’s son struggle with being and not being together, both being adored (Mesashe by his son) and outsiders due to circumstance that may not be worth changing. Along with an insight to a very close-knit community, most importantly the film brings back to all the father and son bond when good, when complicated, when desperate and the inner struggle of what is most important** 

The Prince of Egypt

I love a good “Fuck you” in a film, and for children—this one delivers.

This story of Moses was my first musical and had a soundtrack I was obsessed with and portrayed the important teachings of the story without the harshness and lack of forgiveness I expect from the Catholic Church. Along with the soundtrack, I remember the story to be about freedom, peace and the complications of doing the right thing

Living a couple blocks away from a church is the closest I am to religious, and I haven’t been in a religious building in years, but I remember the story to be about freedom, peace and the complications of doing the right thing and how opinions of what is right, can differ. Two brothers, one who didn’t know he was adopted, would still be expected have the same understanding in life but as seen more common in today’s world—family doesn’t always think or believe the same thing. Separating the aspect of power and God, a majority of the conflict is still an ability of Moses and Rameses to speak to each other and creating an understanding with each other. 

For me the “Fuck you” of the film, as with many stories of racism and elitist beginnings, is how Moses comes to his success out of opposition to the actions of those in power both with how his birth mother sent him down the river and he became part of the King’s family, and in why he flees and returns to Egypt—trying to live a righteous life and have all people be equal.

This story is also a great portrayal of a mother’s love both with the mother who has to give their child up and with the mother who adopts another’s child as their own, both sacrificed so much for their son. Along with the soundtrack, also a shout out to the art department, I too remember the beauty of this whale shot.

I believe in the power of knowledge, which comes from books. You want to learn something? Read.

Bookstore owner, Joan of Arcadia (via colemeanitch)

I’d expand this, as there is also art and discussion and life and other experiences, but yeah--these things come from other places and by putting yourself out there in a way that will get you more understanding of the situation and books are amazing for this, but sometimes a book or a just-fact book isn’t the right way either

Books for ourselves

It is important to remember that books are not always about just telling a story. Books can show us how others live--whether they be Stormtroopers, drug addicts, slaves or someone that has another different story from all the ones that are different from us. 

Yes, we learn about people from their stories, but it doesn’t have to stop there. In understanding one’s life and one’s struggles--we can choose to act, we can choose to push forward, we can choose to help, we can choose to learn more. 

In 15 days it’s Halloween, in 16 days it’s a day of really cheap candy and chocolate, and in 21 days you have the power to vote and make the world how you think it should be. But I hope that’s not your one day of using your voice, your power and the power of listening to someone else’s story. You may not have the best or easiest life, everyone struggles but “a rising tide lifts all boats”--be that tide, raise the condition for everyone

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was the final book of the series, creating a different and more pronounced impact than probably all but Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. It was also different for me than the rest of the series as it was the only book I got at midnight, it was the only book (I ever) jumped ahead with—seeing that at the end “All was well” and that this was the only book I read  after the movies, having been dismayed by the 4th movie, I didn’t read it for almost 8 years. Reading the book then I was an adult and not a pre-teen or teenager and it, therefore, has a separate place in my heart and in my mind even though I read it after just rereading the entire series. The fact that Deathly Hallows all fits in one book is majesty itself, so much explained and told but not overwhelming.

One of the main themes through the series and highlighted in the Deathly Hallows is how much Harry has to due by himself and how much of the burden he can share with others. As we have grown up with Harry, Ron and Hermione we experience this as well albeit with less dramatic stakes. This is true in both the physical battles of the Seven Potters and the Battle of Hogwarts, but also just in terms of Harry leaning on Hermione and Ron in trying to figure things out but in other times letting them take charge while he rests or sometimes becomes distracted by the Deathly Hallows and not the task at hand: finding and destroying the Horcruxes and also when they all joke around, comforting each other and themselves. This is also true emotionally, in the way we can best understand when Harry leans on Hermione and Luna while burying Dobby.

Another theme throughout the Deathly Hallows is how complicated relationships and individuals can be. Looking past Ron and Hermione and Harry, I mean Harry and Dudley, Draco Malfoy and Xenophilius Lovegood. For Harry and Dudley it happens for both of them; while Harry despises them, he makes sure they’re safe and while the Dursleys have always had disdain and repulsion for Harry, Dudley is worried and angry that they’re not sticking together and helping him, and we know Petunia’s recognition of the final loss of her sister shocks and somewhat destroys her. With Draco, as we saw in the Half-Blood Prince, he reminds us there’s a difference between a bad boy or bully, and a truly bad person. Yes, he’s a bully and elitist, but just like his father he mostly just likes to complain and pump up his ego; he’d do very little actual damage or harm to others, that type of evil or hatred is outside of him.  Xenophilius Lovegood, in my opinion, had his best and worst moments in trying to sell Harry and his friends to the Dark Lord. It wasn’t cowardly, it wasn’t weak; there is a difference between sacrificing yourself for a cause or for someone else and sacrificing your child. Xenophilius fought alongside and supported Harry until for him, there really was no more purpose in a better world, an okay world or any world.

The Deathly Hallows also nicely tidy’s up the series with the Chapter “King’s Cross” by referencing for us how just because the Harry Potter Universe was in books and in our minds didn’t make it any less real and for showing us as well as Harry how death, adulthood and life are all things we must accept and how choosing acceptance will help us move forward even if not always easy or instantaneous.

Happy Birthday Harry

Harry Potter…..eh. No, I do love Harry, I do and there is a lot we can learn from him and a lot we can appreciate, it’s just odd as the central character of the story one of his best and most important qualities—is that he’s like everybody else. But that’s also so crucial, that he’s not special. Yes he’s got magic (but so does everyone), he’s skilled at Quidditch (but Voldemort could actually fly), he wasn’t particularly smart (Hermione) or charming (Cedric), but he also wasn’t a complete lost boy (Neville), he was average—and yet he changed and saved the world in ways big and small. So he’s a bit underwhelming, which made him so powerful.

While some of the biggest aspects of his life were not his choice, others were. One of the biggest and most crucial choices he made was his being kind and in his friendships with others. He didn’t like Draco early on, and liked Ron; he maintained a friendship with Hagrid once he was more settled into his Hogwarts life and while not particularly close, would hang out with Neville and didn’t lash out at Ginny or Colin (Colin!!) or Dobby, even competing against Fleur, Krum and Cedric (who he had a personal, one-sided rivalry against), he still was kind and friendly and always tried to do the right thing.

Harry was never perfect. He didn’t always listen, let his emotions get to him more times than there are pages in the series, he didn’t think things thru and he could be very close-minded. While he did not mature in all these accounts by the end of the series, overall he did mature and learn to see the world outside himself; being there for Hermione when Ron was with Lavender, sacrificing himself to save a world he would never get to be in. Over the series Harry grew and learned from (most of) his mistakes. This is crucial as it is important for us to know that one instance won’t ruin your life, and that people are always making mistakes and how to own up to them.

PS My favourite thing about Harry, and one of the things I love the most about the series, is how throughout it, even in his fifth year (as I remember it), every once in a while Harry would pause and meditate a bit on the world around him, how great and beautiful magic is. I love that so much

So Happy Birthday Harry Potter and Happy Birthday JK Rowling

Lavender Brown

Happy Valentines Day everyone!

While some may adore this holiday, others find it grotesque, so to honour both the day and the feelings everyone relates to it (both good and bad) today is the perfect day to relate and explore Lavender Brown

Lavender Brown was just so god-damn annoying. I hated her, I still hate her, rewatching and rereading I still hate her and while for some it might be because she was “between Hermione and Ron getting together”--Lavender wasn’t, Ron was; there isn’t that level of dislike for Victor Krum, because he’s not a pain in the ass. In class we saw her barely paying attention or whining (you’re learning MAGIC girl, focus!), was very overdramatic, gullible and influenced (relationship with Trelawney), didn’t trust Harry or Dumbledore about Voldemort, infatuated with Lockhart (weird, that’s what they have in common) and Trelawny, had no independce or confidence and for us who had been growing up with Hermione, Lavender was always a contrast (and a bit of a bully to Hermione) and we just saw more of what we didn’t always like about her in Year Six. With Ron she’s in that (and from what we feel would always be) someone who is having their first boyfriend/girlfriend, OMG I totally love you even though it’s only been 3 days, we’re going to get married, live happily ever after, middle school romance...but at 16/17, and incredibly one-sided. Would they have lasted forever? No, from the beginning it was clear, to those he told, that Ron was more about being in a relationship than the relationship itself (yeah, asshole move). And, while Lavender was right that there was something going on between Ron and Hermione, it wasn’t right to act on it as 1) they weren’t acting any differently than they used to and 2) no romantic relationship should replace any friendships. Yes, over time people split up, but as an ultimatum, it’s the first step of the romantic relationships quick demise (and true with friendships where one tries to rid other friendships). She was just a whiny, petty, privileged American, ugh. 

Now, what did we learn? Regardless of her judgement and attitude she joined Dumbledore’s Army and fought in the Battle of Hogwarts, reminding us that everyone has layers. She also was a great friend to Seamus and Pavarti. Who knows, maybe had Harry, Ron and Hermione not been constantly busy saving the universe they would have all been friends, or at least friendlier and found they had more in common than we thought because we know a lot about Lavender’s annoying traits and her personality, but little else because it was easier to see her more dramatic side. So, Lavender Brown, you do remind us that not everyone is the same, not everyone will get along, not everyone is going to best your very best friend but that everyone still deserves respect, understanding and compassion

Man I just realized that there will come a time where this feeling of happiness that comes with fandom stuff will fade, not disappear, never disappear. Just deminish.

Other things will become important and this fun thing will just slowly calm and relax into nostalgia.

Now this isn’t true for everything. I could even go back to that thing that gave me joy and relive it. But there is always the possibility. So why should I focus on the negative things when I could create and experience positive ones. Make those times I look back on happy rather than nerve wracking.

I should create a place that a future me would be proud of.

“There are three kinds of explanations: explanations that give us an illumination or an inkling of something; explanations that explain nothing; and explanations that obscure everything.”

— Friedrich Schlegel, Athenaeum Fragments

Some people these days..

People: I hope one day I'll meet a person who can understand and love me just the way I am

People: 'Doesn't tries to be that person'

"In positivity, balance = negativity..." Dirty Rotten Scoundrel. I want nothing but lyrics, bruh, no junk on my set. #jeruthedamaja #creativity #knowledge #wisdom #understanding #90shiphop #90shiphopjunkie #mcs #gangstarr

Like how language

Gets jumbled over time,

We became two mouths

Tangled in our misery.

Each meaning the same thing

Yet unable to comprehend

The other.

Are we not both proclaiming love

But losing the feeling

By the tossing and turning

Of borrowed time?