Unmasking - Blog Posts
This is me and my autistic friend when we hang out. We hang out together to be anti-social together, usualy not making much conversation and just playing video games on our own laptops
PSA For Neurodivergents
Don’t unmask. It’s not worth it. It destroys every kind of relationship you can form. If you think you’re safe, you’re not. Once they see you without your masking, they’ll never see you as they did before. You’re not the same to them anymore. Those who say they accept you will use it against you later. Everyone runs out of patience eventually. Normally, I would say to wear your weirdness with pride, but the world is cruel and people are intolerant. Don’t make my mistakes. Don’t unmask to neurotypicals.
Giving up facial expressions has been amazing.
Ok so im learning some stuff about unmasking as I attempt to do it for the first time ... so I figured I'd share in case it helps anyone :)
My ND traits are a natural part of me, but because they aren't habitual yet, unmasking is a conscious, deliberate choice. Simply having ~knowledge~ about my brain will not help me as much as it could if I acted on it
Many aspects of unmasking (especially stimming) feel super forced and awkward sometimes, but that doesn't mean I'm faking! It just means I'm out of practice
I've spent my whole life ignoring or denying my own needs, so the little voice in my brain is very difficult to hear. I miss some cues sometimes
My brain is very much like a little toddler tugging on my sleeve. It constantly approaches me with something to say. Treating the voice with compassion allows me to make a choice that I might otherwise deny my conscious self
When I actually started listening to my brain, I realized that I don't like what it's saying. "It's too bright. It's too loud. You don't want to make facial expressions anymore. You're bored. You're burning out." It makes me feel vulnerable. DO NOT IGNORE THE BRAIN, SUNNY. It is saying something for a reason!!!
Take breaks. Take breaks take breaks take breaks. If I have the option to rest but I'm thinking of powering through ... don't. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure
Most people genuinely do not care if I stim. They just vibe with it. Some of my friends and my fiancé even think its cute that my joy is so visible, which makes me feel a lot better about it :)
When I actually do stuff that's good for my brain (creating routines, wearing sensory friendly clothes, scheduling alone time) I reap the benefits! Who'd have thunk it
Sleep is like 90% of the battle
Sometimes I get upset, emotional, and scared about unmasking. I'm ultra-conscious of myself. I wonder how I look to other people. BUT! I am learning learn to defend myself from my own ableism in those little quiet moments where I play with a tangle on the bus or slip away to a quiet space
I am happier. It is coming more naturally. I never want to go back :)